My dog the racist

My dog is a racist. A curious statement granted, but a correct assumption nonetheless. Yoda, our little Jack Russell is the most timid of dogs. I don't think I can even adequately describe in prose how timid she is. To give an example, Carole was throwing out a piece of bubble wrap last week. But what do you do with bubble wrap? You pop it, it's an entirely instinctive and strangely pleasurable act. Unless you are Yoda. Upon hearing the first pop she bolted up the stairs ands hid underneath our bed. That's how timid she is.




But I digress. Why is she a racist? Because it has become apparent of late she views fellow dogs in one of two ways - with aggression or friendship. So, Poodles - friendship. Bulldogs - friendship. Springer Spaniels - friendship. Black Labradors however? Wuff, wuff, snarl, bark bark bark bark bark. Some dogs fetch sticks, others can crawl, some even roll over and play dead. Mine is a racist.



Xenophobic canines aside (words I never imagined I would write), the less frivolous side of tonights blog, of course, belongs to Luca. With another week having passed, I thought it best to present a photographic record of the week to illuminate all on his activities. The photo at the top is an irrelevance, but was taken outside my company's Peterhead base (I was up there for a series of meetings) which left me wondering how long such a nice view outside your workplace would take to become just another everyday image to which you'd be aware of but ultimately ignore? More interestingly, the picture directly above was taken of Luca in what is curiously one of his favourite surroundings - the Tesco supermarket cafe. I guess there is no accounting for taste, but he considers this a genuine treat.

This is in our bedroom, early on a Saturday morning as Luca (successfully, natch) convinced Carole and I that sleepy time was over and that his day was due to begin. The odd creature in the foreground (other than Luca...) is the boys favourite current toy. A £1.50 rubber spiky piggy. Of all my qualities the main one he has inherited is my desire for cheap tat.

The above image was taken during Aberdeen's semi final tie at Scotlands national stadium in Glasgow (Hampden Park), where I unfortunately took residence for the day. Great atmosphere, but a resounding 4-0 defeat is about as much fun as a fart in an elevator

With summer upon us, it was time for a new hat for Luca. Yes, that's a "Transformers" hat. You may not need many guesses as to which parent took him shopping that day.

The hat has rarely left his head since. The following day he wore it all day at nursery. When I removed it from his head that evening (under duress I might add) the top of his hair was so plastered to his head the style resembled that of a Newton Abby monk. Here he is again above, with hat on again of course, at Haddo House on Easter Sunday. We attended their annual "Easter Egg Hunt". As you can see, Luca's attempts at searching proved a little futile, so instead he proudly displayed a stick he found instead.

But there's a playground on site too, which of course offered him some recompense.

Time and time and time and time and time again...........

"Last shot Dad, I promise"

Finally, here he is above just before his Asthma Clinic appointment. Due primarily to the relief his inhaler has provided him (alongside various other methods and factors), the cough he's had almost his entire life has entirely disappeared. Our clinic appointment was designed to discuss his progress, as well as an opportunity for his parents to speak about any concerns. However, as I had asthma myself as a child I had few queries to air. The most interesting part of the appointment for me was the doctors record taking. Our formerly tiny mite now stands at an impressive 3ft 5.5 inches.

**Useless fact of the day - On average, a person produces half a litre of fart gas every day, distributed over an average of around fourteen daily farts**

It's not my fault.....

I'm sorry. Again. My excuse for lack of blogging activity of late is simple - my PC has broken down, again. What's wrong with it? I don't know, I push the button and it doesn't turn on.

Yes, it's plugged in.

So, until it's repaired I'm afraid my blogs will continue to be updated from my work PC, and as such will be devoid of photographs. On the positive side, however, my camera is building a extensive collection of pictures - primarily of Luca, natch - of which I'll post all upon repair of my home PC.

Every negative has a positive. A bit like Colonel Gadaffi. Yes, he's a tyrant, a maniac. But he will one day die and feed the undernourished Libyan ground worms

I haven't seen much of Luca lately unfortunately. Due to work and other obligations I've been away a great deal longer than I prefer. For example, I was away half this past weekend in Glasgow for Aberdeen's semi-final against Celtic. We lost 4-0. Our 4 hour drive home through unending traffic and roadworks provided little comfort too funnily enough.

I made up for it yesterday however, taking the day off work (yep, I sometimes don't work....) and spending the day with a 4 year old who could barely remember my face. We spent the day at various parks, shops and the cinema ("Rio", it was great) before an exhausted tot and I returned home to put our feet up. Interestingly, he already slouches on the sofa like a fat 50 year old. What's he going to be like once he actually reaches that age?

He's a real tease at present too. I've mentioned previously of his habit of turning off the bathroom light whenever I go in, but he's also now started to adopt songs for various occasions. For example, if he catches me getting dressed in the morning he'll trot through, smack my butt and begin singing "Daddy's got a bare tummy, bare bummy, bare tummy". How do you combat this? I'm perennially to busy laughing to chastise him

What else? Carole appears much improved, as the antibiotics seem to have cleared the worst of what was ailing her. However, the doctor, as standard up here it appears, has seemed very vague on the actual cause even if he was able to provide a solution. Perhaps I'm being pernickety, but I'd prefer a clearer and more straightforward diagnosis rather than going straight for the drugs every time.

And me? I'm going to Greenland. With a new contract having commenced at my work I'm being (most likely forcibly) loaded onto a charter aircraft next month to organise the customs/logistical side of operations in Kangerlussuaq. Sound like fun? I don't think so......

**Useless fact of the day - Greenland has a population of 56,452 and is the least densely populated dependency or country in the world. It's also a bit cold**

Is this a good day or bad? 05/04/11

A little good news just filtered through. I've gained a place in the Firhill Cup, a football competition taking place at Firhill Stadium, hope of the (in)famous Partick Thistle. Full scale 11-a-side game on the legendary pitch where past masters (such as Alan Hansen, Mo Johnston and Chic Charnley) have plied their trade. It appears I'll be playing in my favoured right back position, so with the clock to kickoff counting down (33 days....) I need to get in training so as to not completely humiliate myself. "But you're almost 36 years old now Gary" you'll be saying, "and you were never much cop even in your pomp". These are valid points, the validity of which I'll accept. But still ignore.

Can you tell I'm excited yet? In other matters, I'm taking Luca to the doctor tomorrow. He's developed a very curious scratching tendency which is causing concern. At present he has prominent scratches across his face and back (most administered as he sleeps) and has even scratched a chunk out the top of his head. I'll update further tomorrow.

Coincidentally Carole also has an appointment tomorrow, as the practice work toward a solution for her lingering infection. The initial prognosis was tonsillitis, followed by a contradiction last week where they claimed it may instead be glandular fever. However, the blood results have come back indicating this is not the case. Similarly to Luca's, I'll post further as soon as I have word.

**Useless fact of the day - A common natural remedy to child scratching on Google is to give the child a starch bath, with the bathwater including one tablespoon of starch, three teaspoons of cold water and one pint of boiling water**