Luca unwell

Luca woke with a chirpy grin this morning. "Lets get dressed and have breakfast" he cried, pulling his socks on before dragging his Dad downstairs to the kitchen. "I pour the cereal" he insisted while filling his bowl with Rice Krispies. The milk was due next but then......

Blleeeuurrgghhh

He vomited. This action even surprised him, and he burst into tears before throwing up a further five or six times. This eventually stopped, leaving a shocked and distraught toddler literally caked in the regurgitated contents of whatever he'd eaten the previous day. "Help me Daddy" he wept, not being able to comprehend what had happened. I pulled his clothes off and carried him through to the shower to wash. Luca hates showers, but on this occasion willingly welcomed the streams of warm water from above. I sat with him as we wiped the remnants off.

Obviously we had to keep him off nursery, so Carole took the morning shift while I returned at lunchtime to take over. He seemed absolutely fine, but it's clear something is amiss. He and I spent much of the afternoon on the sofa together - much out of character for the hyper wee man - watching TV and snoozing.

Well, he fell asleep under my arm a few times. I did drop off briefly, only for Luca to notice, climb on top of me and push his nose into mine until I awoke. A rather bizarre type of alarm clock for sure.

Anyway, he's in bed now with hopes of an improved day tomorrow. See the video below for Luca's explanation of his ailments.

**Useless fact of the day - 40% of all Guinness sales are in Africa**

Will the real Luca Stewart please stand up?

July has been a long month for Luca, and the cracks are beginning to show. The itinerary was as follows:-

Week 1 - Grandma Liz up to stay

Week 2 - Visiting family in Lincolnshire

Week 3 - Cousin Ben up to stay

Week 4 - Visits from Great Aunt Mary and Uncle Brian

As good as it was for him (and us) the loss of routine, allied to his natural "show off" tendencies has resulted in his worst behaviour in.......I can't remember how long. Following a major earthquake, tremors continue to impact for some time time after. As his behaviour is proving comparable, it's doubly apt that he's kindred to a force of nature.

In preference to dwelling on his behaviour, I'll instead reminisce and revoke memories of some of the brighter moments he's produced this month. The two pictures above illustrate both his fascination with his walking, talking "Elmo" toy, and his fear. I caught these just as the toy waved its arms in the air, causing a panicking Luca to instinctively throw himself backward onto his bed.

And here he is playing Air Hockey with Cousin Ben. Despite Ben's best efforts to throw the game Luca still couldn't win, with his sloth like reflexes not boding well for a future sporting career.

His Great Uncle Brian proved an idiom of confusion, as Luca struggled to work out how best to deal with the most recently met member of his family. "The tears are coming" grumbled his Grandad as Luca's laughs and squeals grew ever more manic.

The blog will return to it's normal level of irreverence (and irrelevance....) over the coming days as life - and Luca - revert to their original flow. In the interim, Luca wishes you goodnight in the video below:-

**Useless fact of the day - Yemen has a population of 23,822,783. About 45% of the population live below poverty line and the unemployment rate hovers at 35%**

Aint no mountain high enough

Just a shorty today (bit like oor Luca):-



"Carole, I'm cold, please take me home now"
Carole took Ben for a walk up Bennachie, cruelly neglecting to tell him that even in the height of summer that hillwaking in Scotland is QUITE COLD. Yes, that is a pair of shorts and t-shirt he's wearing.



Do teenage boys smile in photo's? It's a genetic thing



"Open your eyes Daddy, I promise not to smack your head. Again"



"Stop looking at my ice cream. I will kill you"

**Useless fact of the day - Americans consume the most ice cream in the world per capita, with Australians coming in second. In 1924, the average America ate eight pints a year. By 1997, the International Dairy Foods Association reported that the figure had jumped to 48 pints a year**

I'm back

This feels a little "Catholic confessional", but:-

Please Father, forgive me for my sins. It has been two weeks since my last blog.

Has there been any reason for me to update of late however? Carole and Luca drove Liz home last Monday (always a pleasure to have her here incidentally), leaving me with little of note to report. Are you really that interested in whether I scored four goals at football on Tuesday (I did) or whether I ate healthily during my families absence? (I didn't)

But.......they're now back home, and after a last minute house tidy comparative to BP's recent oil spill clean-up I welcomed them back, along with our latest guest - Luca's big cousin Ben has joined us for the week following the end of his exams.

Luca, of course, reminded me why I'd missed him. I called Caroles mobile on Friday as they drove up the road, only for her to to be drowned out by a toddler gasping "Aaaah, that's my Daddy, that's my Daddy! I miss you Daddy". Enough to bring a lump to the throat of any semi-starved Dad (I told you, I really didn't eat well)

Following their arrival in Inverurie - and Luca's rapid ascent to bed and the land of nod - I "welcomed" Carole and Ben with a DVD to chill out in front of. It starred Hugh Grant and Sarah Jessica Parker and was called "Have You Met The Morgans?" We really wish we hadn't. Carole nominated it as possibly the worst film she'd ever seen, while Ben's summary was a little more succinct - he went out for a jog half way through!

Yesterday (Saturday) was much better. We drove into Aberdeen where we broke into pairs. Carole and Ben went in search of somewhere to obtain a third ear piercing for Ben (strewth, I hope he's told his Mum - this is a real Pandora's box moment) while Luca and I went to.....well, just cause chaos pretty much.

Later Carole dragged Ben out hill walking with the dogs, while Luca and I assembled the £8.99 barbecue we'd purchased earlier that day. Luca was of genuine help, and sat alongside me patiently throughout, supplying me with each part as required.

"Small black screw please Luca"

"Here you go Daddy"

"Thank you Luca. I need a screwdriver now"

"OK Daddy, here you go"

"No Luca, that's a pencil"

"Ooops, sorry Daddy"

The funniest part was on completion, when I told him what a great help he'd been. He became overwhelmed and threw his arms round my neck and snuggled in before triumphantly rising and bouncing away on his nearby space hopper. Here he is below with his creation:-

The barbecue went well. Ish. A couple of steaks were a little on the scorched side, but all was eaten and enjoyed. I think. I partook in around 9 or 10 Jack Daniels while cooking. I think it's a caveman thing. Me drink, me make fire, burn dead animals.

The remnants were devoured by fitness fiend Ben this morning (he's almost unrecognisable from when I last met him) before he and I visited my local gym. Following my attempt to rid our house of it's Jack Daniels content only 12 hours before I took it a little easy to begin with, but Ben cracked straight on with the loose weights, impressively bench pressing away. The joys of youth......

Following this, we returned home to collect Carole and Luca and drove down to the Highland Games in Stonehaven. Ben, of course, was a little perplexed by the curious spectacle of "tossing the caber" (not a double entendre), while Luca was most entranced by the Tug'O'War. "They getting very muddy" came the blindingly obvious statement from the tot as a dozen 17 stone+ men destroyed the turf and dug their heels half way to Australia.

More comment and pictures to follow tomorrow, time permitting.

**Useless fact of the day - The “Haggis Toss” is not a traditional Highland game. Indeed, tossing a haggis about is a criminal waste of food, so flying haggis at true Highland Games is right out**

Ummm....ouch

Liz arrived on Friday. Comedy element is already present.

Here's Luca running carefree round Union Terrace Gardens on Saturday afternoon. As Jeremy Beadle used to ask (incidentally, is he still alive?) on "You've been Framed" just before every commercial break - "What happens next?"

Yes, Grandma Liz loses 3 teeth. I'd asked her to pose with a (worryingly) highly strung Grandson for what I intended to be a happy, smiling family picture on a beautiful sunny day. It instead turned into a scene of (unintentionally hilarious) horror. Luca, in his excitement, continued to bounce up and down as his Grandma held him, resulting in an echoing thud as his head landed a blow under her jaw of at least comparative impact to many of Mike Tyson's greatest hits. Could this photo have possibly been taken at a more inopportune moment?

I wasn't serious about Liz losing three teeth though.

It was actually just two.

Is it noticeable that I've neglected my camera responsibilities of late? The only other picture of note is the one featured above, and is more of a curio than anything of genuine relevance. It's a snap I took yesterday of the "Hand of God" church in Aberdeen. Which is part of a tenement style section of business units. In the cities fish market area. Still, at least if Jesus decided to use this church to repeat his trick of providing fish for the 5000, it'd incur a little less effort than his first attempt those 2000 years ago.

Much more to report - primarily that of Carole's impressive time of 27 minutes in today's 3 mile charity race - of which I'll detail later in the week.

Unless my aged fingers become too flimsy to continue these journals upon reaching my 35th birthday tomorrow.

**Useless fact of the day - Jeremy Beadle, a popular TV presenter who attained an MBE, died on 30th January 2008. He lived his life with Poland syndrome, a visible disability which manifested itself as a disproportionately small right hand**