In Caroles words.....

Carole's emailed me a few pictures of her recent trip to the beach with Luca. Beneath each is her own description of events. So can today's post be classified as Caroles? As Kenny Dalglish would say - "Mebbe's aye, mebbe's naw"



"We had a brisk walk on the beach"



"Mini motor bikes at Codona's"





"Ham sandwich followed by choc ice cream at pier bistro - Saturday 22nd Jan after Megamind and a walk on the beach"




"Very surprising but difficult to capture but he sat beautifully on this shot but it reared quite far up up high in the sky!!"

As ever, he's had a good number of trips lately. This past weekend he accompanied me to the office while Carole recovered from tonsillitis (almost clear now thankfully) on Saturday, as well as his football training on Sunday morning.

His progression at training has been substantial, even in the short 3 week period he has so far attended. Most impressively this week he was regularly performing a "drag-back", where he rolls the ball backwards with the sole of his foot before turning and running with it. I was most impressed.

Luca was less so. After training had finished, while I helped change him back into his trousers from his shorts, I asked him if he'd had fun. He dipped his gaze and slowly shook his head. "Why not?" I enquired. He sighed. "I'm not very good at this" he said quietly

Yes, my heart almost broke for him

"But you were really good today" I insisted. "I really wasn't" he muttered back. "You were", I countered. "Remember how many goals you scored? And you were really good at dribbling. I was very impressed". He looked up at this point and a little smile crept upon his face.

We went to the cinema afterwards as a reward for his efforts. "Marmaduke" was the movie of the morning, a live action (as opposed to the more common cartoon films we attend) film about a Great Dane dog who can talk. It was better than it sounds, although the doggy dancing bit at the end caused me to voluntarily bang my head off every solid surface within the vicinity

As so often, Luca has the appearance of someone who's been in a fight. This time it's been caused by an infection which has affected the bottom of his nose and upper lip. He's been prescribed an antibiotic cream by the doctors however which has already cleared much of it - I'm certain by the next time I take his picture there'll be no trace

And finally, Carole and I (and shaggy of course) visited "Strathburn School" this morning in preparation for August, when he'll begin Primary One. It's a frightening testament to how quickly time passes, albeit he will still be one of the youngest children at the school. Indeed, he'll still only be 4 when it begins. The tour was of interest, and the changes in schools child development is startlingly apparent from our generation. However, some things never change, and my nostrils caught the putrid smell of School Dinners being prepared as we passed the canteen. Overcooked custard, yum yum

I should, however, make mention of the fact that we are to visit the school again in May for one of their recent innovations. Luca, Carole and I will "enjoy" a school dinner together in order to assist in his school familiarisation. How does one prepare their stomach for such a harrowing event?

**Useless fact of the day - School dinners, on average, contain less than half the salt and sugar of a packed lunch**

The word "plethora" was created for this very purpose

Seven photo's. Ten video's. And a cricked neck for me as I sit uncomfortably awaiting their upload. I'm afraid the timeline of each of these images/video's is so skewed as to make an episode of "Lost" appear logical and well planned out, but onward nonetheless:-



I'm considering charging "Homebase" for the above as a publicity shot. Luca and I were searching for a bathroom suite, and came across the above much to Luca's obvious approval. Did we buy it? No, but we have chosen an alternative, with further details on a later blog, once work begins.






The man in red again, this time proudly showing off his big cockerel. A gratefully received present from Auntie Jane et al, and a "fnar fnar" opportunity for me.






Luca at Pittodrie, home of Aberdeen Football Club. This was his second ever senior game and a successful one to boot. A crushing 6-0 victory for Aberdeen brought plenty of opportunity for the boy to shout and sing.






Here's the build up to the third goal of the game. Luca enjoyed himself, albeit half-time providing him with his greatest thrill - the appearance of Angus the Bull, Aberdeen's mascot. "What's that? That's a funny cow!!!"





Occasionally his focus on the game was lost. "Can I have another bag of crisps Dad?" came a common request, as he kept a careful eye on my bag of "Walkers"




I can't remember when I took this. I do know it's outside Waterstone bookstore. It's not an interesting picture however, I'm sorry. I can't even think of a pithy comment to accompany it.

And here's David Beckham (Mark 2). Taken after Luca's first football training session, his sweaty and shaggy mop somehow even more unkempt than usual.

Onto the videos now, and as promised previously Luca shyly describes his first kiss......



And finally, in a video I'm certain will bring me chastisement, comes Luca's "toilet games". Peculiarly, he enjoys it when I tell him not to use the toilet. Why? I don't know, why is the moon made of cheese?

**Useless fact of the day - The moon isn't made of cheese**

Football crazy....

Many years ago (well, 4) a boy was born to an overjoyed couple. Said boy grew at an exponential rate, showing great aptitude that, by the year 2026, had resulted in him being considered the greatest footballer that had ever lived

Or not. Luca had his first official football training today, at Culter Sports Centre. It's being run by an organisation called "FootStars", and covers all age ranges from 3 upwards. We've signed him up for an entire block, with each class commencing at 9am on Sunday mornings.

Yes, no more Sunday lie-ins for me, or Luca for that matter. Still, he appeared fully awake as we arrived at the sports centre, and enjoyed every minute. The session was held in the main hall, and was high tempo, for both parents and children. Indeed, I regretted my decision to wear jeans.

Luca's general co-ordination isn't bad, and he can kick the ball quite accurately over distance. However, he appears to have inherited his fathers touch, and attempts to teach him to dribble the ball around cones was comical to say the least.

However, part of this is down to a lack of patience as well as technical aptitude. He understood the exercise, but simply preferred to blast the ball into the net from distance rather than dance around the cones first. "I don't need to do this Daddy" he commented upon noticing my head in my hands, "I can do a goal from a long way away!"

I'm afraid I don't have any pictures of video's this week. My home PC has died temporarily, so I'm typing this from the office. However, I'll update with the plethora of pictures and video's as soon as it's repaired. Of particular interest will be the video discussion with Luca, where he tells me the details of his first kiss......

**Useless fact of the day:- Website "Ehow" describes coaching young children to play football is "like watching a moving stampede"**

Phone bill schmone bill (03/01/11)

Has everyone voted for Carole yet? If not, please do so in order to ensure I'm able to return home from work to smiles and tasty dinners rather than scowls and leftovers over the coming month.

Speaking of work, despite the UK officially remaining on holiday until Wednesday 5th, much of my afternoon has been spent in front of the PC logged onto my work account, following innumerable requirements by foreign based customers and agents. As previously commented, I love my job sometimes.

Actually, I do normally like it. Is that weird? Are you supposed to enjoy rather than endure work? I feel a new poll topic coming on......

Today hasn't been an entire waste however. Earlier I took Luca out for a short sojourn, partly to purchase some necessities, but also to give his Mum some peace to clean and cook lunch for her friends (Gail) imminent visit. Luca, as is his wont, alternated wildly between huge displays of enthusiasm followed by sudden drops of energy. He's still a little unwell, albeit showing a little improvement.

I am wondering if it's a bug that affects his brain however. Curiously, over the last few weeks, he has begun to mistakenly call me "Mum" on occasion. What does this mean? Answers on a postcard please.

I'm purposely ignoring the obvious explanation, that he shares a similar mental capacity to his Granny Jo, who is notorious for getting names wrong. If there is a God, I may start praying - surely we can't be condemned with two of the same ilk?

I'm only joshing Mother

Our short forgetful boy enjoyed a long day yesterday, as Carole and I drove him to Aberdeen to enjoy/endure the New Year sales. While there, Carole took him to see "Animals Utd" at the cinema while I browsed the shops. Why didn't I go in with them? Firstly, because following a Christmas/New Year break primarily spent sitting down and eating, I was glad of the chance of a wander for a couple of hours.

And secondly because I'd seen the reviews to said movie........

We all met up again afterwards (just in time, as I'd found a bar in their absence and my first and only alcoholic beverage had give me a taste for it) and diversified the rest of the day between responsible shopping (purchasing storage containers and crockery) and ensuring Luca didn't break/steal too many items that would be noticed. Still, the main point of the day was met - little scruffy head was utterly exhausted by his efforts and ambled to bed early, allowing his Mum and I a little more free time than we're commonly used to.

We spent the remaining proportion of the evening watching "The Godfather Part 2" on TV, which followed our viewing of the original instalment the previous night (I think Part 3 is on tonight too). Unbelievably, for a movie buff such as myself, I've never seen this trilogy of movies, which have long been regarded as the greatest in cinema history.

And my reaction to the classic trilogy thus far? Is it heresay to suggest they're overly long and even perhaps even a little boring too?

At least Hogmanay wasn't as dull (I feel the God of moviedome will strike me down any second now). Although we neither went out, nor had people round this year, we at least had a little fun with it with an alcohol based pamper evening. I cooked (and we lived to tell the tale), and followed it up with copious supplies of Jack Daniels and Mojito's, all interspersed with relaxing baths and massages utilising some of the items I'd bought for Caroles Christmas - an electric massager (which looked like a futuristic shower head) and manual foot massager (which resembled an orange dog stool). All very amusing, and unbelievably the following day brought about a surprising lack of hangovers.

There is much else to tell but in the interim - Happy New Year

**Useless fact of the day - Massage is the oldest form of medical care. Egyptian temples show people being massaged**

Ladies and gentlemen please press your buzzer to vote for your favourite.....

Following work today, Luca accompanied me on a trip to the local supermarket to pick up provisions for Hogmanay. Whilst there we visited the cafe for Luca's tea, during which I picked up a copy of the "Evening Express" newspaper to peruse through while old shaggy head devoured his ham sandwich. My jaw, however, dropped upon hitting page 8. See image below:-

Too far away? OK, here it is in close up:-

Yep, that's our wedding picture again. Carole has (unbeknownst to us) been entered by the paper into their "Bride of the Week" contest. I rather think she's pleased....... So what happens now? Well, you have to vote of course, see below:-

And what's the prize? Well, nothing really, she'd then enter "Bride of the Year". But I think it may please her, which in turn would please me, and when I'm pleased I blog more, which means you'd then get more pictures of scruffy the toddler - everyone wins! So pick up your phone......

See link for details of the contest:- www.eveningexpress.co.uk/Article.aspx/1020714?UserKey=

Despite having to work on Hogmanay (boo), it's been a good day thus far. In addition to the surprise above, we've now had our new chandelier fitted in the living room, as captured below:-

Rather grand isn't it? It's certainly bright. Indeed, you know when you're under anaesthetic in the hospital, and being operated by that underqualified relief doctor from Slovenia? And he has his manual upside down and cuts the wrong bit, and you're drawn toward the blinding white light beyond the pearly gates? Our chandelier is like that, but brighter.

There's no real reason for the picture above, other than this blogs first picture of him as a 4 year old. He loved his birthday yesterday, despite temporarily departing for bed half way through! He's still struggling with illness at present and isn't quite 100% - but being the annoyingly bright child he is he has the tendancy to use it as a mean to manipulate a situation to meet his own ends.

I should end this entry now, as I must begin preparing Hogmanay dinner. It is, of course, a dish I've never previously attempted, so it could be terrific or terrible. Much like 2010 then (albeit more of the former), so rather apt.

Happy New Year from everyone from the Inverurie Stewart Clan, and I hope you enjoy the video below of Luca during his birthday celebrations yesterday.

**Useless fact of the day - January was named after the God "Janus", who has two faces which can simultaneously look backwards into the old year as well as toward the new one**

Yay it's Christmas....oh no, that's it finished already

The first official Stewart (Inverurie clan) family Christmas has passed, in a seemingly quicker fashion than a Vince Cable backtrack

Who, Dad, is definitely 67 years old, born in 1943. Sorry, private debate:)

A quieter Christmas than is normally standard, Carole, Luca and I stayed at home this year to complete our first year as (officially) a married section of the Stewart family. Carole grew ever more excited by the prospect of organising Christmas as the time drew nearer, and indeed was out of bed and downstairs continuing preparations on Christmas morning a good deal earlier than Luca and I.

Luca was, of course, a particular curiosity. His excitement leading up to the day was palpable (and comparable to his mother), but on the morning itself he awoke at his own pace and enjoyed a leisurely and disciplined breakfast in the kitchen before even contemplating opening his presents.

As expected, however, his temporary level of cool evaporated entirely once the wrapping paper began it's journey around our living room in a thousand pieces. Here he is below, anarchically bellowing that "It's Humungusaur!!!!"

Following further preparations, including the prerequisite round of telephone calls to loved ones (apart from Banchory, where Mum was at church while Dad spent his morning dog walking - a Christmas first for him!), dinner began, and what a feast it was. We'd purchased a goose rather than turkey this year (simply to be a little different), and what an inspired choice it turned out to be - delicious. So delicious in fact that the unthinkable occurred. We had no room left for dessert! Not that Luca minded, due to his decision to blind himself, as follows:-

Luca wasn't alone in playing up for the camera however, as demonstrated below by Carole looking pretty:-

And me looking rather less so:-

We also attended a second Christmas yesterday, enjoying a Boxing Day in Banchory. While Carole and Mum blethered in the kitchen, Luca and Granda played together in the living room. An amusing sight, as I sat watching the Stewart's of two generations apart playing games that best demonstrated each others OCD tendencies.

And the meal? Delicious of course. Was it as good as the previous days feast? Do I look stupid enough to answer that question?

**Useless fact of the day - Apart from mouse/mice, goose/geese is the only animal where the singular and pleural words have different stems**

Iiiiiittsss Chrrriiisssssstttmmaaaassssssssssss!

Ding dong merrily on high indeed, Christmas is now upon us. Recession? Work stress? Pa, these things are entirely incidental compared to the pant wetting excitement of the imminent arrival of Kris Kringle down the chimney tonight.

As the season expects, Christmas is a time where it's most appropriate to evaluate your worth at this time of year. Most pertinently, have I been a good boy? I think so, but to dissuade any likelihood of debate we will move quickly onto Luca......

.....who has become as interesting a character as you could expect. With a brain like a sponge and an ability to act and improvise in almost any situation, he has become an intriguing presence to be around. My only current issue is that he has now hit the "why" stage.

"Daddy, why are you driving slowly", he'll enquire.

"Because the roads are slippy" I'll reply

"Why?" he'll ask

"Because it's snowing"

"Why?"

"Because moisture freezes into ice crystals in the clouds"

"Why?"

"Because it's cold"

"Why?"

"Because it's winter"

"Why?"

Ad infinitum.......

I often wonder whether the winter or my patience will end soonest

Segueing entirely seamlessly (ahem) onto the next subject, Lucy requested on her last blog for a selection of music to go out running to. Like Dad, compiling music lists is a sad obsession, so for Lucy's benefit here's a list of the 15 best tracks to exercise to:-

Foo Fighters - The Pretender

Biffy Clyro - That Golden Rule

Manic Street Preachers - Australia

Andrew WK - We Want Fun

Avril Lavigne - Sk8r Boi

Supergrass - Caught By The Fuzz

Bon Jovi - It's My Life

Paramore - Decode

The Offspring - Kids Aren't Alright

Gabriella Cilmi - On A Mission

Stereophonics - Dakota

Florence And The Machine - Drumming Song

Katy Perry - Hot N Cold

Elastica - Stutter

Linkin Park - New Divide

I can also provide a list of music to warm down to Lucy, if only you'd ask. Go on, ask. Please ask

Our house has long since been prepared for Christmas. Carole has enthusiastically picked up the baton this year and ran with it. And ran and ran. Our house is awash with Christmasness, even reaching absurdly festive levels in the building of a Christmas gingerbread house, as depicted below:-

Our son has also enjoyed the advent calendars greatly too. We have two separate chocolate calendars. It is now December 24th. And I am yet to sample a single piece of chocolate from my calendar. "You can have one tomorrow Daddy, OK?" is the morning speech repeated to me on a daily basis by everyone's favourite toddler with the dual accent.

My only issue with this years festivities is that Carole's present pile will be little light this year. Due to the severe weather of the past few weeks, deliveries have been slow to the point that internet orders have been entirely worthless. Still, at least I was prepared and purchased a few gifts the old fashioned way - by braving the shops and muscling my way past Christmas shoppers with that tell-tale psychopathic look in their eyes. Luca has accompanied me on a couple of these jaunts, as you can see below:-

Daddy's popularity with the young rapscallion diminishes further with each snow laden trek. However, he always eagerly joins me as the chance of a tasty snack in the nearest cafe is always a high probability. I must improve his table manners though, as is evident below........

Although there are many more Christmas related stories to tell (and embellish), I will take this opportunity to sign off and rejoin my rarely accompanied wife downstairs. She has been a Christmas widow this week as I've continued to work daily and allied it with last minute Christmas shopping in the evenings. So to precede the threat of divorce proceedings, I'll wish you all the happiest of Christmases and will of course be thinking of you.

**Useless fact of the day - Santa Clause is sometimes referred to as Kriss Kringle, a name most likely derived from Christ Kindl (Christ-child). The German name of the Christ Child is Christkind, commonly used in its diminutive form Christkindel**