For fox sake

I just spent the last hour typing a descriptive and informative account of recent proceedings. Only for the blog to crash as I was adding the last photo.

I hate, HATE, technology. What the hell was wrong with cave walls anyway?

As such, my beautifully created entry (I can lie about that as no-one will ever see it now anyway) is no more. And so, the following is a brief (the briefest) addendum of what came before.

That's barely even the correct use of the term, yet it's now so late that I don't give a rats ass. So, photo's eh, that'll be good?








This is Luca as a pirate. I can't remember why.








I ran the Edinburgh Marathon last weekend. Lucy wanted me to write an entry about it once I'd processed it mentally. But there's not much to say. I should've ran faster and more comfortably, but didn't. I should've followed a marathon training programme. I should've eaten more healthily. I shouldn't have drank so much. I should have been mentally tougher. Failed on all fronts. But I didn't quit, and I'll do it better next time.








But at least I still like running. Fin has the opposite emotion when it comes to me. Tries to eat or headbutt me. And I look a wally on top of a horse. But he's gentle with Carole, which is more important.

Did you know I wrote 3 paragraphs on Carole and horses in the original blog? Did I mention how much I hate technology?







I just liked this, and it's going up in my bathroom.








And here's today's big surprise. Luca on his new bike. Think he's pleased?








He wrote this while I was putting the bike together, which I think probably indicates the answer to the above is "yes"

Apparently that's music notes below the bird. I thought it was pooping too.

The bikes getting its inaugural outing tomorrow, as we'll be heading to he forest trails with Yoda in tow. The pup and I will run alongside him as he gets used to his "big boy" bike.

Hope he doesn't go too fast. My legs are still sore from this mornings run, completed while he was at football training. I tried a little sprint training for the first time, well, ever. Thought my legs were going to snap off with the shock. Particularly after months of preparing for a marathon by running only longer, slower distances my joints and muscles (which were never the keenest supporters of my decision to run in the first place) screamed their objections.

Anyway, did I mention how much I hate technology?

Scary story to send you to sleep - I begin tucking him into bed and he tells me, “Daddy check for monsters under my bed.” I look underneath for his amusement and see him, another him, under the bed, staring back at me quivering and whispering, “Daddy there’s somebody on my bed.”

Sore

The school holidays are upon us again, and so the game of "Pass The Luca" begins anew. I took a day off on Monday to look after him, and we filled our day with football, ten-pin bowling and a cinema visit. The latter being the least surprising activity (I feel my predilection for the cinema is becoming an actual addiction issue), we saw "Rio 2", which even for a kids film was sensationally poor. Luca, of course, thought it was wonderful. Naturally.

Somehow, however, this wasn't even the worst film I saw this week. On Wednesday Carole and I (no Luca to look after, remember) had a night out at the movies to watch historical epic "Noah". Hammier than the floor of a swinery slaughterhouse.

The previous evening was a little preferable however. I joined Carole at the farm after work with the intention of running home. However, while I was there my wife used the opportunity to hoist me atop Finnan for the first time. He's quite an energetic and excitable beast, despite my gangly limbs being a little on the large side for him. In spite of this, the most daft imagery came from the helmet I was lent for the session. A size or 6 too small it was. I have a photo, but it won't upload. I freaking love the internet.

I don't have many pictures today unfortunately. I have, however, found a couple of pictures it took of Carole at the start of the Garioch 5k race from a few weeks ago, as follows:-






Disappointingly, albeit predictably, despite her excellent time Carole hasn't run since the race. We enjoyed our little training runs in the lead up to the race though, so a little time jiggery pokery is needed and we'll get out for the odd session again.

Luca's new haircut has been a topic of conversation lately, and so here he is below, in a photo taken 20 minutes after the barber had lopped several kilo's of hair off the top of his head:-



He'd had long hair his entire life, so the chop was a big deal. He wanted it done though, and I think he looks great. His poor Mum was having palpitations at the thought of her baby's mane being sliced, which brought both sympathy and amusement to the table.




The above picture was taken earlier today, Luca with his (new-ish) buddy Lyle. They'd played football together earlier, during which both Dad's had to call an early end to the session which was becoming a little overly "tasty". They were both flying into tackles against one another and the possibility of broken bones was becoming a distinct possibility. A real surprise there, as Luca is invariably a rather "delicate" player. Does it make me a bad Dad to admit my admiration for this new found will to win?




Ah, this one now. The above photo not being my proudest moment as I slogged around a flat "easy" 10 mile race in Perth last Sunday. My finishing time wasn't the worst in the world but I've run this distance quicker before (on a hillier course) which led to disappointment. The picture here was taken only a couple of miles from the end, and I think the expression on my face speaks volumes of my disillusionment.

Coincidentally, Lucy had a race of similar distance this morning. Having just spoken to her it seems she had an equally disappointing time, and coincidentally similar to her little brother unexpectedly ran out of steam badly on the latter half. We've decided this was her unconscious attempting to support her little brother. Onwards and upwards though, we'll both knock it out the park next time.

With my first marathon only weeks away now, I shook off a few cobwebs this morning on a 17 mile run, starting just after 6am. The forecast rain gratifyingly never appeared and the sun even somehow found a way to burst through the clouds. A bit of Arcade Fire on my mp3 made it almost enjoyable, and well worth the exhaustion and badly bruised toes. Bruised toes which Luca has spent the rest of the day finding new and ever more unique ways of stepping on, causing ever more anguished cries from his Dad. And ever more widening grins from my undeniably evil son.

With a Carole prepared slow cooked stew now imminent and a small boy to carry upside down to bed I must now end this entry. Much more to report however, which I'll detail in another blog later this week.

**Useless fact of the day - All polar bears are left handed**

Found this saved in drafts - an entry Carole didn't finalise from 17 December 2008..........

Well that's all of my Christmas shopping done, delivered and dusted - but not all wrapped :-| - boo :-(. I've just got to plan my Christmas day menu - light lunch for 6 (including Luca) and a main Christmas Dinner for the 3 of us. I'm really not a natural in the kitchen so I'm glad that this year I'm getting to practise cooking without having guests - Gary and Luca are my gorgeous fluffy guinea pigs - complain if they dare!!!!!;-). To be honest Markies will have a big stake in the dinner!!! (Good old Markies :-)

This year is great as I've no idea what Gary's getting me and I've managed to keep my trap buttoned regarding his present - so we'll both have some nice surprises (hopefully!!!).

Luca and I went to Hoodles today - Hoodles is a kids play barn with a great soft play area, all indoors. The facilities are great and they do fancy coffees and tasty sandwiches, soups and paninis - so it's all good. Luca was really shy and clingy at first but once he got going he was fine - I think I'm going to start taking him to these kind of places more regularly ... see if I can get rid of this "shy" phase he seems to be going through.

My Wednesday's off aren't really "off" as such, because this is the day that Luca's not a nursery and I cook, clean and tidy up too whilst entertaining, feeding and cleaning a toddler (I don't find this easy - I really don't know how people cope with more than one at a time ..... Jo you are a goddess in my eyes!). One day hopefully we'll be able to afford to have Luca in nursery on Wednesdays then I can really have a proper day off with some 'me' time as well as all the cooking,cleaning and chores. He really does love his nursery so I don't feel guilty at all about him being there - infact, he rarely wants to leave the nursery when I come to pick him up in the evenings - so far I only have 2 victories over the nursery .. .1) he eats fruit at home (at least 2 portions per day) and ... 2) he sleeps for at least 2hrs after lunch :-)

Oh and Ian - for you to know my middle name Gary would have to marry me and I doubt that's going to happen as he's just not the marrying type :-) ... so you'll just have to keep guessing. Without going into too much detail ... my middle name has much to answer for ... infact I think it's the main reason why myself and Gary got back together again!!!

How long has this (not) been going on?

I won't prattle tonight. Straight to the business of (partial) storyboarding:-




Tenpin bowling. The celebratory stance was ever present. He beat me. And I was trying. To my shame.


Football training is back after the winter break. As is my thumb over the left side of the photo. I take photos like my mum.


In Dingwall, North of Inverness. Outside a Wimpy restaurant, about 20 years after the last one was spotted anywhere else in the UK. Dingwall, the ****hole that time forgot


Dad's birthday. Last time I got a look like this was when I handed in my Primary 7 report card



Better. At the Echt Tandoori for Dad's 65th. If only my flash had worked. An excellent night nonetheless


Except for my wife doing this


In Lincoln for Janes 50th. Val, Mike and Luca. One to be printed and framed, methinks


At the Cantonese restaurant for Janes surprise party. Yes, that's blue skies in the UK. Depressingly noteworthy


Jane and Carole together. Janes "distinctive" coat having been spotted and modelled by her little sister


Kat Slater


Cousins together as we left at night. Yes, there were tears


Outside the cinema today. We'd just seen the latest animated flick. It was, naturally, crap


Rather an archive image from Dyce Airport, as Kelly, Chris and Miller prepare to return to Oz. Miller appears greatly interested in proceedings


Luca and pals at the beach. Guess which one is "difficult" Ethan?


A nice distance shot of the boys playing at the shore


Luca on the train. As out of towners with a penchant for the city we travel a lot at weekends


On one of my long training runs. Yes, that's a horse and cart. How far had I run? At this moment I was thinking "Deliverance"


Pretzels are my favourite snack. Chain shop "Mr Pretzel" is one of my favourite places. Luca used to hate pretzels. He's changed his mind and loves them now. He currently eats three quarters of every pretzel I buy. I think I love him less.



At the cinema (yes, I live there). Can you spot Luca? He's developed a curious habit of touching the screen at the end of every movie. Why? Why do dog poo's no longer turn white? One of those questions you're not supposed to know the answer to, I suppose.

I should have titled today's blog entry "monosyllabic" shouldn't I?

**Useless fact of the day - White dog poop is the calcium left behind as the water evaporates, and the 'organic' components of the poop are consumed (in various ways) leaving the inorganic stuff behind. However, dogs eat less bone nowadays, and dog poop gets picked up rather than left by dogs owners now too, hence less white poop**

Cinema

We had a family trip to the cinema today. The skies discarded endless sleet and snow onto us in an act of pointless valour, vainly attempting to confine us to the central heated comfort of our home.

Our will to grossly overpay for cinema pick'n'mix succeeded however, and shortly afterwards our car arrived in Aberdeen, inelegantly depositing us onto the river-esque puddles of the city streets.

However, our (inevitable) late arrival caused us to miss our intended movie, and instead caused a split. Carole and Luca grew excited at the prospect of the soon-to-start "Hobbit 2", whereas I could think of many more pleasurable activities, among them sticking a garlic baguette up my nose or swapping my contact lenses for hot chillies.

Instead I alone visited a neighbouring screening of new Robert De Niro comedy "Grudge Match". I perhaps should have put asterisks around the word comedy. A godawful mess of a movie, with a tubby aged De Niro "amusedly" taking on Sylvester Stallone in a boxing match. It raised a question sadly asked too many times over the past decade - is De Niro as bad an actor in the 21st century as he was a great one in the 20th?

But I digress. In terms of physical exertion today has been rather in contrast to yesterday, where I completed the longest run of my life (from Inverurie to Aberdeen) - a total of 30 kilometres. Despite a longstanding ankle problem causing me to slow down more than I'd hoped, my basic fitness coped with the distance without too many issues. The back road route I'd chosen was hillier than I prefer, but our country roads up here are often picture postcard, such as the following image I took yesterday mid-run:-




The weather in this image admittedly looks a little grim, but in Scottish winter terms it's often far worse. Indeed, Carole accompanied me on the the first 5 kilometres of my run, during which the skies opened to such an extent it was akin to having buckets of water poured unceremoniously upon our noggins. Contrarily, however, the Weather Gods decided enough was enough literally as soon as Carole's leg was completed. Again, however, I was very proud of her, as despite the conditions she ran determinedly throughout the hilly route without nary a complaint. I really enjoyed her company too.

Young Luca has a little training imminent too, after we signed him up for the annual Garioch race event. His age group have a full kilometre to run, quite a distance for such little legs. A successful result for our boy will simply be to not finish last, as his awkward birthdate means he's in a slightly older category - ages 7 to 9. He'll be one of the smallest and youngest, so it'll be interesting to see how strongly he runs near the back of the pack.

Carole and I are entered in the event too, in the 5K and Half Marathon respectively. Disappointingly I won't see Carole finish, but I'll be there in spirit.

My wife is, of course, loving her new horse Fin. She hates Luca and I shortening his name as such that's I become almost a family game now. "That's not his full name" she'll grump as husband and son inwardly giggle. He's a great natural ride though, despite his differences to Harvey.

He has a nice nature too, although the headbutt I received from him a week or two back wasn't my favourite moment. It was my fault, I was leaning into an angle he couldn't see - but it was a teeth jolting reminder of the solidity and power of these beasts.

My latest fad is an experimentation with vegetarianism. Due primarily both to differing running diets (the only constant in my diet being the rubbish I consume) and having watched one too many (admittedly preachy pro-vegan) documentaries, I'm researching the benefits of of a non-meat diet. As I grow older the considerations and implications of eating meat prey ever greater on my mind resulting in the contemplation of what this would entail.

Carole, as a long term advocate of organic food, is being supportive and doubtless her interest has been piqued too. Where will this go? We will see.

Like every blog entry I tend to have a single regret as I near the end. Today it has been my lack of Luca related prose. To partially rectify such a failing I attempted to attach a video I took earlier to the blog. And failed.

It was of our "shy" boy dancing. I'll find a way to attach it next time. He'd be extremely indignant if he found out I was going to attach it. A parents roles are many and varied, but the instinct to embarrass is ever present.

**Useless fact of the day - A snail can sleep for 3 years**

Well, I suppose

Suffering instead of socialising. An apt description of much of my life's events so far, only more so today.

With more relatives arriving today to see Lucy, Kelly and families, poor Granny Jo was faced with the unenviable task of another mass catering opus. Minus one

Yes, I failed to show for dinner in Banchory following a surprisingly harrowing run this morning. 19km (around 12 miles or so) were covered. A distance covered very comfortably in multiple training runs earlier this year (indeed becoming rather a workaday distance at one point) became an uncomfortable endurance test today. Why? Simple, lack of training over the past 6-8 weeks, allied to excessive Christmas drinking and an inadequate diet.





As the picture above demonstrates, my new Christmas running shoes need a little breaking in too. This handsome burst blister hasn't stopped weeping since its discovery several hours ago. Nice

Still, mistakes are made to be learnt from. I'll try to fit another (hopefully confidence boosting) run in before the New Year Lumphanan Detox race with Lucy as a precursor to any potential discomfort on the day.

Speaking of whom, I enjoyed a run alongside my big sister yesterday. She and her family came round yesterday morning, and while the boys created a cacophony of noise (well, Luca did, as is standard) for Scott and Carole to "enjoy", Lucy and I set out on a run through my local patch. My favourite aspect of running has always been the opportunity to explore, to visit places you perhaps normally wouldn't. For Lucy's benefit we ran by the Aquithie Stone Circle track, Inverurie Hospital (where she worked on occasion before emigrating) and Luca's school alongside other landmarks.

We covered just under a dozen kilometres before returning home, but perhaps set the pace a little high for a local Christmastime trot. Later in the day (we took the boys and spouse's for lunch, funfair and Laser Quest thereafter) Lucy started to look a little washed out. Infamously notorious corporation tax dodgers they may be, but our gratitude for the over-abundance of Starbucks coffee shops which provided the much required caffeine boost will live long.......

Perhaps, with greater foresight, I would have created a separate, dedicated running blog today. For our next image is running related too. Lucy, Carole and I ran the local Banchory Boxing Day Run last week, a fun annual "turkey trot". Dad caught us just before the race start:-





The girls ran great races. Lucy came home first of the two, running an excellent personal best time at this distance (5K), while Carole, a non-runner who hadn't had time to fit a single training run into the previous couple of weeks, determinedly ran without once slowing to a walk. I ran back after finishing to run the last section with her and was really proud of the grit she showed.

It's been great to see the Australian and American branches of our family this Christmas. Cade and Braeden are no longer at the "pick up and bear hug" stage, and are both incredibly switched on. Both will chat till the cows come home, even teenager (teenager!!!!) Cade, who takes a little longer to warm into a blether.

Seeing Kelly, and meeting Chris and Miller, has been great too. Poor months old Miller has been involved in a game Pass The Homo Sapien. He's great though, and has even got over the "Absolutely Terrified Of Uncle Gary" stage (most folk never pass this) to award regular grins and laughs. I did, however, enjoy changing his poopy nappy as much as I enjoyed Luca's. Seriously, how do such small receptacles concoct such volumes of toxicity?

Kelly's exercise schedule has left me rather daunted however. Cross Fit, 6 days a week, 3 times a day. Yep. Woah.

This has been rather more informative blog than normal hasn't it? There's so much to fit in the usual lyrical flights of fancy have been crushed by the weight of facts bursting to appear on the page. Usual unreadable irreverence will recommence next time.

To finish we have a photo or two.




Cade and Luca on our sofa yesterday. Luca's REALLY going to miss his cousins. His eyes just light up when around them.




Christmas morning. Severe storms during the night tilted our fence and blew the gate clean off. Above was taken part of the way through my botch temporary repair job. Yes, that is duct tape.




Christmas Eve. A mince pie for Santa and a carrot for Rudolph. Santa can confirm the pie was delicious.




Same night. Luca climbed across the back of the chair to sit atop my shoulders while I was reading. Carole offers chastisements for the fact he still - at nearly 7 years old - still receives the occasional carry in my arms when sleepy early in the mornings. But heck, he'll always be a baby in my eyes.

Apart from every time he talks.

**Useless fact of the day - You can only dream about faces you have already seen**

Walt Disney

It's 3 weeks until Christmas. Which, ashamedly, is a lesser period than the time elapsed since my last blog entry.

My repeated failings in updating this site, and the now almost prerequisite apologies, have become a Catholic confession of sorts. Except without the good bits that a Catholic priest (assumedly) bears audio witness to.

Since the last post, Luca has now passed his 27th birthday and begins his fourth anniversary as CEO of Apple Industries, having become bored of life as a World Cup winning Nuclear Physicist.

Luca is actually a healthy little chap, of sorts, just now. My revamp of his dietary intake is nearing completion, and I'm quite pleased with the healthiness and variety now involved. Instead of chocolate bars he now eats natural fruit bars (prune, coconut, etc), some made from scratch by me. Crisps have been eradicated completely. Dinner varies nightly, and is no longer as concentrated on the old "favourites" of fish fingers, sausages and beans.

Thankfully.

The change to his diet has been necessitated, I felt, by his ill behaviour. Most notable has been complaints from school about his cheekiness, chattiness and disobedience. The headmasters office is not an alien environment to him.

As we, as parents, can't affect his behaviour during school hours, all we can do is attempt general life improvements in an attempt to rectify matters. On top of the diet change (something I feel to be a key factor), he's also faced lengthy bans on the activities he enjoys. Computer games and television have been most prominent of those removed from his daily life as punishment (and as a precursor as reward for good behaviour).

Do these changes make a difference? Undoubtedly. The complaints from school have ceased, and just as importantly it hasn't adversely affected Luca either. He's quite happy to exist without TV (etc) and is becoming more creative as well as better behaved. He draws constantly now, completing at least 10 pictures daily - some are really very good too.

Contrarily, I do feel the issues at school have been exaggerated. Until his long term teacher left recently on maternity leave we'd faced few issues. I'd probe her at every parents evening for details of misbehaviour, all the while receiving positive reports. However, the school appears to have been ill prepared for her departure, and after 6 months have still not appointed a permanent replacement, instead bouncing 2 part timers around his class. Is it too coincidental to notice the "issues" have only began since this endless disruption with the teachers began?

Have I bored you stupid yet?

Shall I move onto the pictures before I lose you completely?




Guess where we are here? That's right, the "Aberdeen Maritime Museum". Again. I genuinely can't understand his fascination, yet can't consciously deny him the cultural learning experience that such premises offer. At least, on this occasion, our visit followed a cinema trip, where Luca and I watched new animated movie "Free Birds"

Which was ace




We've been to a wedding too. How good does he look in a kilt? Luca was page boy at my cousin Kieran's wedding a week ago. An initially shy child dived (dove?) into his responsibilities, to such an extent that the best man in his speech paid heed to Luca "photo bombing" every time a camera appeared.

And he wasn't kidding either. I'd be surprised if the happy couple have a single picture without that Luca grin being present somewhere.




He's been good over the last couple of weeks now though, so earns his rewards. Here we are in one of his favourite places, the Inverurie Garden Centre Cafe. Each to their own I guess.




And above, crossing a rail line bridge. Luca is of course terrified, my transmitted fear of heights still to leave him.




The above is a "Where's Wally" moment. We were snapped by the official photographer before the start of the recent Fraserburgh Half Marathon. I'm obviously easily visible. But that blue coat is Carole's. And you win a banana if you can spot Luca.



Having been injured lately I'd decided to take this race easy. However, despite sensibly starting the race near the back of the field I quickly bored of this plan and instead made my way rapidly through the field. The above was taken near the start as my lanky legs took me past a hundred or so bodies.




Bizarrely I ended up running a personal best (by 4 minutes) finishing in 1 hour and 33 minutes. I actually felt strong throughout and was never in trouble until the end. The last half mile was seriously painful and my infamous sprint finish was nowhere to be seen on this occasion as I stumbled over the finish line. The picture above was taken yards from the end, and the pain is demonstrably palpable.

I don't always run to my best though. I had a cross country race (I hate cross country races. Why do I do them?) yesterday, but hadn't accounted for feeling quite as bad as I did. A tip kids - never race with a hangover. Carole and I had been at a farmers dinner dance the night before (I now know A LOT about pig farming) and I rather over consumed on the vodkas. Wanting to throw up continually throughout a 10k race whilst sinking in mud is not what a good Sunday is all about.

But it was worth it, of course, for the night out with my wife.

Speaking of whom, we have been horse hunting together. Rather a rarity, and although neither horse is (likely) to be the one eventually purchased as Harvey's replacement the experience was invaluable. To be around horses and horse people was an education, and learning is always desirable.

More on this to follow soon. For now my stomach rumbles and, as always, is overruling my every other impulse.

**Useless fact of the day - there are about 75 million horses in the world**