Bright eyed and bushy tailed

I feel remarkably well rested today. Why is that? Because Mr No spent last night at his Granny and Granda's house!




With this we avoided such scenes as depicted in the above picture. It was bliss! No delaying tactics at bedtime, no midnight nightmares, no calls of "cover me" every time he flips his duvet off, no demands for attention at 6am as he loudly declares "I had a nice sleep!" It was a relaxed atmosphere in the house when we woke today. C'est tres bien!

The reason for his overnight sojourn was due to both Carole and I working today, with the Nursery still closed until January. A Monday night drive to Banchory seemed to make more sense than one this morning at the crack of dawn against commuter traffic! Also, his overnight stay allowed Carole and I to visit the cinema to see "Avatar" (as per the above picture)

The film was terrific, don't be fooled by the naff premise (it's set in the year 2154 as humans visit an alien world to dig for expensive rocks - see above picture). The film was an allegory for racism, slavery and tolerance - although thankfully avoiding the heavy handedness Hollywood often applies to this subject. The visuals were obviously the main draw, with it being the the most expensive 3D film ever made. James Cameron (the director) has spent the last 10 years solely devoted to making this film, and it's rumoured it cost $500 million to make!! The cost was certainly evident in places as you felt at times you were actually there.

We've a couple of things to do tonight, so with Mum coming through for Luca's birthday party tomorrow anyway I called her earlier and asked her to keep him another night. I was initially reluctant to not see the wee man for two nights but logistically it makes sense. Luca took the phone from his Gran to say hello which was nice, although he has inadvertantly let a cat out the bag. "What did you have for breakfast?" I asked. "Chocolate!" was the excitable reply. His Granny quickly recovered the handset (although not her composure) and desperately tried to convince me that his breakfast was of the healthier toast related variety. I believe you Mum......

However, she can state her case tomorrow at Luca's birthday party. Our baby will be 3 years old! Where has the time gone? Is my asking such a question a cliche?

Carole's got a few things ready for his birthday lunch (which I'll miss due to work), most importantly a "Peppa Pig" birthday cake. Shop bought of course - baking is not a skill either of us possess. Indeed Luca picked the cake himself when I took him to the shops yesterday afternoon. "Peppa Pig cake" he cried as I showed him around the cake section of the store. "You wouldn't rather have that one?" I pleaded with him, showing him another tastier looking cake for half the price. "No, want that one" he insisted, "Luca carry it". At this point I decided arguing wasn't an option as he strode purposely toward the checkout with a cake almost the size of his body in his arms.

**Useless fact of the day - Luca shares his birthday with an English Cricket player called Dick Spoon. Yes really**

The day after the day after Christmas

With our tubby Christmas tummies wobbling like London's Millennium Bridge, Luca and I ventured through the icy wastes of Inverurie for an indigestion inducing swim at our local pool this morning.

Here's an anxious looking young man. This was taken in the changing rooms just before we got changed. Although he's perennially keen to give anything a go it has been some time since I last took him swimming, and with him being not the boldest of chaps we have - in previous sessions - experienced varying levels of panic when exposed to any level of water that reaches above his waist.

He's still a little nervous here, especially in regard to his attire. As those of you with elephant-esque memory's may recall we've previously dressed him in the olde world type swimming costumes with Styrofoam floats attached all round the midriff. Luca, being the bright chappy he is, also recalled this and stared at me confusedly as I put these shorts on. "Dad" he enquired while giving me the quizzical eyebrow frown he inherited from his Mum, "Where's Luca's swim costume? No like this".

He's nothing if not adaptive though. As you can see in the above photo his hands are wrinkled from extensive exposure to chlorinated water. We ended up spending a great deal more time in the pool than I could have imagined. After his usual levels of trepidation he slowly became emboldened throughout the experience. We put a pair of water wings on in the pool and - after a tantrum of course - he began to enjoy himself. In fact, toward the end as he doggy paddled with my arms supporting him underneath, I'd occasionally gently take my hands away and watch him splash and swim along unsupported. Of course I think we know what would have happened had he become wise to my game!

And here's Mr Wrinkle Fingers again. Why such a smile? It's not a smile, I asked him to do his "tiger".

Here we are back home, freshly refuelled with excessive amounts of chocolate. Contrary to perceptions of what sugar does to children he looks quite sedate here. Contrarily see below......

That's more like it! "I need more sugar, and I need it now!"

"I SAID NOW!!!!!"

Sorry, he's not a demon - I'd asked him to give me his dinosaur impression. The little animal featured in the picture above is more of a problem. This is Sima minutes after having a wee on the kitchen dog bed. Always a pleasure to clear up.

How can you get angry with that face though? Although she is still acting a little cautious around me after I slipped on the ice yesterday and broke my fall by landing on her......

My fourth fall in three days! Perhaps I need to check the alcohol level of the chocolate liqueurs I've been wolfing with such gusto over the Christmas period.

Following our swim today Carole took Luca to Sauchen to Karen's house for their annual apres Christmas drinks and bites. I excused myself from it this year and instead stayed at home to get caught up with a few Christmas clear up jobs.

Obviously the fact there was two big games of football live on TV played no influence in my decision....

Tonight - resisting the urge to bury it in the bottom recesses of the bin - I'm using the last of the leftover turkey to make us a curry. Hopefully this should finish it off for good. Did anyone else wake up this morning with a rather pungent turkey aroma'd burp?

**Useless fact of the day - Although it's commonly regarded that elephants have the best memory's in the animal world, it's been conclusively proven that sea lions have a superior brain - their memory's stretch back a minimum of 10 years**

The countdown to a Luca meltdown

Christmas doth approaches, and necessity dictates that Carole and I baton down the hatches in preparation for a Luca explosion tomorrow. As you'll see further down in the blog our Christmas tree is almost lost amongst the dozens of gifts surrounding it. A frightening prospect indeed, but isn't your child's reaction the real reason for Christmas? Yes Mum, religion notwithstanding.

I have photo's to show you again! Most were provided by Carole so my descriptions on the underside of each image may not be entirely accurate......

Above is one of Luca's regular attempts to teach Sima English. He commonly reads to her - it's almost a daily event. Very cute.

"Hallo Isis, do you want to hear story too? Once upon a time Gordon Brown had the UK economy under control"

Yep, it's a fairy story........

"Pay attention Sima or you'll get detention!"

This - apparently - is Luca's new favourite food. Boiled eggs with toast soldiers. Is everyone now feeling a little nostalgic? Are there any of us who don't recall the simple joys of dunking your soldiers?

"Luca likes eating his tea with his fingers!"

"Mummy made me use my cutlery again :("

And here's our Christmas tree. Approximately three of those presents are for Carole and I, the rest will be enthusiastically ripped open by a hyperventilating 3 year old.

That's all folks. Merry Christmas, and I'll update the blog again on Boxing Day with some Christmas pictures of Luca.

I'll hopefully speak to many of you on the day, but if not then please be assured I'll (we'll) be thinking of you.

**Useless fact of the day - The average trained dog recognises 160 words, and has the mental capacity of a chimpanzee or 3 year old human**

Should Auld Aquaintance Be Forgot - ach hang on, that's next week......

It's now 4pm on December 23rd and surprisingly this is the first chance I've had today to set the lever on my office chair to "relax". I guess this is the pre Christmas rush, although with any luck that's it over with now. That said, in this industry it's any ones guess.

I am in the wrong industry however. Has everyone read Dad's latest blog, detailing his Christmas lunch with the great and good of UK industry? Apparently Sir Alan Sugar didn't receive an invite as his status wasn't quite at the prerequisite level.

Most pertinently, did he convince any of them to invest in Partick Thistle?

Quizzically, again I have few Luca stories to regale you with. I simply haven't seen much of him in the last week. I did get home in time to give him his bath last night though, a rare occurrence as this is more prominently a "Mummy" job. It's clearly been a while since I last bathed him as I was surprised to see him do pretty much everything himself! Once he'd stripped (he needs little help here now) he essentially pushed me out the way and turned the taps on. My every attempt to assist were met with comments such as "Don't turn that off Daddy, we need more hot water".

He still gurns like a we'an though. Attempting to wash his hair elicits a facial expression not too dissimilar to Stan Laurel on the occasions Oliver Hardy complained "That's another fine mess you've got us into".

Once the bath was over and we'd had our standard battle with the hair drier ("No like it, it's too hot! Luca dry Daddy's tummy instead!") we eventually got him off to bed and cuddled up in front of the TV with our dinners. Carole risked my wrath (yeah I know) by plundering my TV remotes (a man must have control of the television remote - it's the little known 11th commandment) to ensure a celebrity edition of her favourite programme "Come Dine With Me" would be shown.

Although judging by the individuals on view the word "celebrity" stretches the truth somewhat. Afterwards, and as we were enjoying the warmth of the living room while the opposite of global warming occurred outside, we flicked through our 998 channels to find a movie to watch. The best of which was "The Butterfly Effect 2". Never heard of "The Butterfly Effect 1"? That's how obscure this film was!

It wasn't bad though, despite a cast clearly assembled at random from the local modelling agency. And a budget somewhat comparable to a nearly new Vauxhall Astra.

**Useless fact of the day - It is a monkey who plays the role of Mickey Mouse in Laurel and Hardy's most famous film "Babes in Toyland"**

Ding dong merrily on high

How much can happen in 24 hours? Not a lot, but as I'm still stuck in the office while the rest of Aberdeen sits at home with their feet up watching the snowflakes drop outside I thought it prudent to provide another update.

There's actually one or two things to cover, but I'll mention further in the next few days.

Otherwise, not too much worthy of notice. I arrived home last night just in time for Luca to pounce on me before he and his mother went out for a walk along the road. He was so enconsed in thick jumpers and jackets it was like being assaulted by the midget version of the Michelin Man.

Very nice though - I enjoy seeing his eyes light up and his little legs go like the clappers as he stampedes toward me.

I helped get him to bed when they returned shortly after - yes, his bedtime delaying tactics are becoming more sophisticated by the day - before venturing back out into the freezing night air to make tracks toward the local gym.

It was minus six degree's by this point. By the time I returned home I had icicles hanging off my nose.

On my return, and once I'd spent ten minutes fighting Carole for space in front of the living room radiator Sima, Isis and I braved the extremities again for their evening walk. "I may be some time" I called out to Carole as the arctic wind slammed the door shut behind me.

**On their return journey from the Arctic, Scott and his four comrades all perished from a combination of exhaustion, hunger and extreme cold**

Fergus Sings The Blues

It's Monday, therefore I'm feeling blue. Not quite as prevalent as "I think, therefore I am" but it's as poetic as I'm able to get at 1pm on a wintry Monday afternoon.

And wintry it most certainly is. My usual thirty minute commute to the office almost trebled this morning - To one hour and fifteen minuted to be precise. We've had a number of snow flurries these past few days, with a relatively heavy storm hitting as we slept last night which predictably left us with chaos on the roads.

It was still snowing this morning as I ran the fart monsters out for their walk to the park. Unlike my shivering self they love the snow greatly, with Sima in particular being greatly excited as she bounces through the snow drifts like a demented spring bunny.

Carole and I are just off the back of enjoying/enduring a Luca free weekend. We had my works Christmas party on Saturday night which necessitated a night for Luca with his Grandparents. Not a problem for him, he loves it there. His Granny keenly collected him from our house at noon on Saturday, and Luca and I watched her car arrive in the street from our living room window.
"Look Luca, there's Granny Jo's car"
"Granny Jo, Granny Jo! We go in the car now?"
"Yes, you're going in Granny's car"
"Not Daddy's car?"
"Not Daddy's car, no"
"Daddy coming too?"
"No, I'm staying here. You're going in Granny Jo's car and going to Granny's house"
"And see Granda and Unc Ross?"
"Yes, you'll see them too"
"I like Granny Jo's house. Give me a jelly sweetie now please Daddy. And chocolate" Huge smile.

I didn't give him any sweeties or chocolate. I kept them and ate them after he left. They were good.

Carole and I - guiltily - enjoyed the few hours of peace Luca's absence gave us before we left for the party. In fact, as the snow tumbled down outside we briefly considered not going but come 6pm we were in the car edging steadily toward Aberdeen.

The party - at the Hilton Treetops Hotel - was worth making the effort to attend though. A dressy affair, the food was good (apart from the mushroom soup, uuurrrggghhhh) and alcohol endless. An abiding memory would be watching a colleagues partner proudly showing off his cartoon character tattoo on his arm - with his ex-wife's name inked underneath. Oops......

Sunday was a little more sedate. Carole was bouncing first thing, in complete contrast to my grey faced "I'm so ill, I'm never drinking again" persona. She eventually convinced me to jump in the passenger seat of her car at noon and we made tracks back toward Aberdeen to collect my car. After a brief sojourn at the shops I hopped into my iced over motor and drove steadily toward Banchory to collect Luca while Carole returned to Inverurie to prepare my hangover dinner.

Luca was in the middle of his afternoon kip when I arrived, which gratifyingly gave me the opportunity to stop and shakily hold a hot cup of coffee. Mum had made pancakes too which were delicious. The last time I remember Mum making pancakes was during Kelly's hippy faze. How long ago was that? 15, 16 years? Back then Kelly used to buy clothes only from second hand shops and had Led Zeppelin on permanent rotation on the stereo. And she had Steve too. Does everyone remember Steve?

Nostalgia eh?

Anyway, I digress (do I overuse that word?). I eventually decided the time was right to wake the little man. Luca had other ideas however. He gave me a half grin as I lay beside him before gently slapping my face and closing his eyes again. As I was still a little dozy too I decided to close my eyes as well.

Half an hour passed before Mum came up to find us snoring beside one another in bed.

Even at this point Luca was distinctly unimpressed with being awoken and it took quite some time for him to accept no longer being in bed. Eventually though a combination of cuddles and sausages dipped in red and brown sauce (in that order) woke him sufficiently for him to accept being bundled into the back of his Dad's car to begin the ginger journey home.

His Mum got to play with him briefly before he went to bed, at which point Carole and I settled down to insurmountable amounts of soup, chocolate and ice cream. Perfect! Our evening movie of choice ("The Holiday") was less so however and easily wins the award for the most predictable, saccharine load of old smelly socks I've seen since "Rod, Jane and Freddie's Christmas Musical Adventure" circa 1981.

**Useless fact of the day - "Of all animals, the boy is the most unmanageable" (famous quote by Plato)**

What's your favourite Christmas song? Mine is "Driving Home For Christmas" by Chris Rea

Amongst the myriad of box sizes and shapes our poor postie has been trying to ram through our letterbox over the last fortnight (God bless internet Christmas shopping) this peculiar little item also appeared. It's my new keyring.

Bet you were delighted with that picture. Sorry, I've nothing else to show you right now - I must invest in a new digi camera come the January sales.

And referring of Christmas shopping, I made a rather futile attempt to complete mine yesterday. I took the afternoon off work and drove into town. Which was probably my biggest mistake so far this month. Even more so than that piece of chocolate I ate that I didn't realise Isis had already licked.

I've never seen Aberdeen city centre so busy and indeed it took me an hour simply to find somewhere to park. I must admit I gave up quickly, showing less patience than Luca as he waits for his turn on the trampoline.

Which links us seamlessly to our bruiser. Although not spotted by the nursery assistants yesterday, Luca regaled me with the story as we sauntered through the supermarket last night. It turns out he whacked Michael (one of his best friends) with a toy truck as they stood beside the trampoline yesterday. Again - It appears he and Michael regularly knock lumps out of one another. Should I feel worried or relieved by the fact Luca towers over the other similarly aged boy? I'm not sure.

Mum - you'll remember Michael as the wee shy kid who kept coming over at the sports day earlier this year. Remember, his Dad was one of those who finished behind me in the parents race......

Sorry, that's honestly it's last mention. On a more current note, we have my works Christmas do tomorrow night. It should be a good night, but with Carole not feeling particularly well, major snow forecast and confusion still reigning over how we're getting home my next email may include a few grumbles.

Apart from that our run up to Christmas will most likely be relatively without incident. We have most of our presents ready and wrapped now, with only two presently lost in "Royal Mail" land. Will they arrive in time for Christmas? Guess it depends on whether Santa thinks you've been good this year.

Which theoretically should rule Luca out.

**Useless fact of the day - There are 2 billion children in the world (persons under 18). But since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, or Buddhist children, that reduces the workload by 85% of the total - leaving 378 million according to the Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there is at least one good child per house**

Night without Luca

I just read Dad's blog, very funny. I guess we neglected to mention the increase in Luca's bad dreams of late. They mainly involve a short (but loud!) burst of crying before he calms quickly and informs you it was "the dinosaurs again".

Surprisingly in instances such as this he shouts primarily for his Dad, but if recent evidence is to be believed he'll need to adapt this and call for his Mum instead. Newly published studies (conducted by UK based company "Mindlab") have discovered huge differences in the main noises that rouse men and women from their sleep. The sound most likely to wake women is of a crying baby, while conversely this noise doesn't even register within the top ten noises that wake men (car alarms, howling winds and buzzing flies are the most prominent).

And Kelly, don't think this is just the Mum's - even women without kids are most likely to be woken by an infant crying.

Surprising results, and as such I, on behalf of all men, must insist on an apology from our partners for all the dunts in the back we've received as we've slept with the immortal words mumbled "Stop pretending to sleep - it's your turn to deal with the baby!"

Actually, I digress, Carole never did that - I got lucky!

Anyway, as that line of thought continues it's long journey to Japan, I'll get back to the point. Luca stayed with his Granny and Granda last night in order to allow Carole an early start at the Christmas shopping this morning. Coincidentally (and pleasingly) it also offered Carole and I a night off our responsibilities and negated the need for us to ferry the small man between cars after work - Carole had a fitness class that finished at 7pm, while I was kicking off a game of football at 7.15pm.

Our bodies duly punished and showered, we also took advantage of the situation to go out for a meal together to the "Fennel" restaurant in our town. It was a really nice place and the food was gorgeous - my starter of a goats cheese and red onion tart was devoured particularly quickly.

Then again, it was almost 9.30pm before we started eating so most likely a welly boot dipped in soy sauce would have been gobbled quicker than Veruca Salt's big bag of gobstoppers.

With the clock now declaring it to be lunchtime, it's likely Caroles now finished her Christmas shopping and is hopefully now wrapping the comics she got for my present.

Actually, I know she isn't buying comics, but I needed an excuse to lead me into mentioning that the comic shop in Aberdeen (Forbidden Planet) is very sadly due to close it's doors. Is this the saddest part of the recession? The realisation that one of the last remnants of childhood memory's and regressive fantasy will shortly disappear for good.

Even Luca enjoys spending time in there, although with his jam encrusted fingers and overly exuberant handling of the thin paper pages means I'm always seconds away from purchasing an appallingly expensive destroyed copy of a "Batman" limited edition.......

I'll "traverse la rue" to Banchory after work tonight to collect Luca/rescue his Granny (delete as applicable) and take him home to see his ever more snotty nosed Mother.

Yes, Carole has succumb to bug number 367 of the winter. I'm just hoping it'll pass in time for my works Christmas party on Saturday night. She was ill during my party last year too (and indeed designated herself as the driver that night due to her inability to hold a drink) so I'm hoping history doesn't repeat itself.

If it does I'd rather imagine Carole will just stay home instead and watch the plethora of movies we've not yet watched. The last we saw was on Monday, a film called "Carriers" which was about a virus (likely inspired by the swine flu pandemic) which almost literally wiped out the worlds population. It was devastatingly sad, in particular the moment where they left a 5 year old girl (who had the infection) behind to die, simply driving quietly off.

Carole now thinks I'm wet. "It's only a movie" she laughed while dunting my arm as I stared quietly at the screen.

**Useless fact of the day - Research indicates that plants grow healthier when they are stroked**

Usual dark and murky Monday

The latest in a long line of weekends of rain, wind and frost has just passed, with light (never mind sun) rarely seen. Will this be the darkest and coldest weather in recent memory? Probably so.

Thankfully, however, I've now finished my Christmas shopping - I think. Luca, Sima and I took a drive to Aberdeen yesterday to pick up a couple of things, but mainly to give Carole a bit of peace. She had the final part of her busy weekend on Saturday night, a "Simple Minds" gig at AECC. Pictures to follow as she got a number of surprisingly clearly defined photographs on her camera phone. Surprisingly she, Dot, Morag, Jinty and Flo managed to squeeze their way to the front, so for those of you particularly keen to see close ups of Jim Kerr the next blog will be an absolute treat.

For those of you less keen - you can skip the next blog and "Do Something Less Boring Instead" (I think Lucy will be the only one who gets that)

Anyway, back to Aberdeen, once the shopping was out the way we took the opportunity to take a stroll along Aberdeen beach. For those of you familiar with Aberdeen in winter I'm sure I don't need to describe much further. The wind battered us as we walked along the shoreline, with ever increasing waves crashing ever nearer our feet. Although personally nonplussed by this my son and pup were a little perturbed to say the least. Sima kept as far away from the water as possible - even at one point attempting to straddle a groyne as the water drew close - while Luca entered his cautious mode.

Initially he kept as close to the wall as possible, only eventually being tempted onto the sand by a promise of a "carry" from Dad. Eventually, however, he settled although he kept an ever watchful eye on the waves. "Daddy, waters too close" he squealed with regularity as the water occasionally trickled within 10 yards of our feet.

All said though, by the time we left he was distinctly unimpressed by our departure. "No Daddy, we go back to sand" he insisted continually while gazing thoughtfully over the watery blueness in front of him.

Our return home saw a tired boy greet his delighted Mum (she had barely seen him since Friday morning). "Mummy, Mummy. Mummy" he cried with glee before just as quickly insisting that the telly was switched on as "Luca watch Peppa Pig now"

We watched a nice, grisly hack'n'slash film after he went to bed - the remake of "Halloween 2". Most gruesome moment? I couldn't comment for fear of bringing your breakfast/lunch/dinner back up.

Tonight I'm doing my "Heston Blumenthal" thing again and attempting to cook something new - Asian Prawn & Pineapple. I've been a little remiss of late with Carole taking over the kitchen again (I think she's secretly been pleased with the lack of chaos I perennially cause in there) so tonight I'll make amends by creating something likely so inedible the stinky dog (Isis) will even turn her nose up at.

Although I call Isis the stinky one - her younger sister has recently began to battle her in that respect. In fact we were watching the TV last week with the Sima pup curled up across us, and were suddenly simultaneously forced into breaking the world record for holding our breath. How it's possible for such a little thing to produce such an aroma from it's hind end is utterly beyond me.

**Useless fact of the day - There is a theme park in Denmark called BonBon-Land that has a ride called The Dog Fart Switchback (AKA Hundeprutterutchebane). This dog fart themed coaster is the original roller coaster of the park. BonBon-Land is the 4th largest amusement park in Denmark and Denmark's 5th biggest tourist attraction in 2005**

So many photo's, so little time

A treat tonight for those of you partial to a few family snaps. I'll keep the text painlessly brief by simply giving a short description of each picture underneath:-



OK, not a good one to start on. What can I say? Holy silly pulled face Batman.



This is a little better. A common scene at home these days, as Luca has (finally) figured out that Sima doesn't really enjoy having her ears pulled and neck stretched in unnatural directions. With this change in place Sima has recently started to reciprocate the affection Luca shows toward her, resulting in touching photographs such as this.



And here's the one you've been waiting for. See? I told you the new haircut wasn't too drastic. Nice though isn't it? I had considered starting another poll asking whether you all liked it or not, but after the fourth time Carole whanged the garden spade over my head I kind of cooled on the idea. It's a shame Carole isn't smiling in this picture though isn't it?



Ah, that's a bit better.

This is one of Luca's favourite expressions, which conveys upset/anger/disappointment/mistrust/tiredness/hunger/naughtiness and any other emotion which requires a long and high pitched whine. In this case it was anger at my insistence of putting his big coat on. As with many, many things Luca "no like it". This picture was taken today near Pittodrie Stadium, home of Aberdeen Football Club. Yes, today was Luca's inaugural professional football match.

This slightly more chipper picture was taken 5 minutes later as we crossed the hill between where we parked and the football ground. Nice view isn't is? Yes, that's the North Sea behind him.

And here he is again, although this time a little less interested in posing for the camera. Did I mention he refused to walk up the hill, instead preferring his usual spot under Dad's arm and relaxing against my chest? Have I also mentioned how big he's getting now? Despite the temperature being little over zero I was actually sweating by the time we arrived at the game.

Here he is at the match. I have to point out that he's not quite as chunky as he appears in the last few pictures, I'm afraid I went a little OTT with the number of layers I made him wear. Also, this picture was taken during the 10 seconds where he sat on his own seat - for the rest of the match he plumped himself on my knee. I shouldn't complain, but your natural reaction during the ebb and flow of a football match is to move around (normally jumping up and down either in anticipation of a goal or merely to remonstrate with the referee) so with movement limited it was an odd experience to say the least.

This was Luca's eye view of the game - I took this picture with the camera right beside his face. Nice pillar eh? That said, after sitting very quietly throughout the first twenty minutes Luca started to enjoy joining in with the crowds songs and roars. In particular he took great glee at booing the opposition goalkeeper every time he had the ball!

Here we are on the way home. A little "The Blair Witch Project" granted, but I just wanted to demonstrate what I saw throughout most of the day - I took this picture with the camera in my right hand as he was being carried on my left arm. Or my aching left arm as it is now.

The big question for today was was it worth taking the little man to his first proper game before he even turns three? Only one answer to that - hell yeah. Even though I've just realised that my first ever game (about 30 years ago!!) was with Dad and Granda to watch Partick Thistle get thumped by Hamilton Academicals. Guess who Aberdeen's opposition was today? Yep. And guess who won? Well, put it like this, there weren't many Aberdonians smiling at the final whistle.

**Useless fact of the day - A giraffe can clean out it's ears with it's tongue**

When can I retire?

Back to work today after a couple of days off on holiday. I really didn't fancy it this morning, as Carole noticed when suspiciously eyeing me lying in bed 30 minutes before I was due to leave (with still the dogs to walk, shower, shave, etc).

"Do you have another day off?" she asked more as a stimulus to get me up rather than as a question.

I raised myself grumpily, but not half as badly as Luca. The world and it's oyster was his to be objected to this morning. "No want to wear that", "No want that milk", "No eat the toast", etc, etc.

We love him on days like this. I'll let him off though, as he's still struggling with a bug. Indeed, we kept him at home all day yesterday to allow him to recover. It felt strange driving through to Aberdeen, as other than for football or nights out with Carole I haven't driven into town without Luca in the back seat for quite some time now. I get used to the inane chatter coming from the back and rather missed the company he provides.

That said, it perhaps was best he didn't come. I was in town for a bit of Christmas shopping and was astounded with how busy it was. It was 11.30am on a Wednesday morning - I know it's Christmas but do people not have to go to work nowadays? (Yes, I'm aware that being off myself makes that statement a little nonsensical)

One shop in particular was enough to make you weep - Marks and Spencers. The desperation in the eyes of the elderly ladies as they shoved and swore their way through the store was a sight to behold. Indeed, while waiting at the till I had to step in and have a word with one particularly unpleasant woman as she rather viciously verbally attacked a young checkout assistant. Interesting to see how quickly this particular bully shut up when faced with me rather then the quivering young girl behind the till. I know it's Christmas and everyones stressed but why do people think they can behave in such a fashion?

Carole went out not long after I arrived home (Luca was dreaming his way through his afternoon kip by this time) and came back shortly afterwards with bags of Christmas decorations. So at last our house is looking a little more festive, and Luca (on awakening) absolutely adored putting baubles onto the branches of the Christmas tree - I'll post a picture of our beautifully gaudy Christmas tree in the next blog.

Which reminds me - I'll also post a picture of Carole too. I managed to get her to pose when she came home from the hairdressers on Monday night. She took my advice (I know, I'm as shocked as you are) and asked her sylist for a new cut. Personally I love it, let me know whether you approve when you see it. Indeed, this may be an opportunity for another poll.

And Liz/Val/Jane - don't worry, it's not a massively drastic change. I didn't convince her to get a mohican.

The mohican will be Luca's next haircut......

In a "Groundhog Day" repeat of last weekend, I may again suffer similar loneliness. Carole's out again, and this time she's going for it full pelt. On Friday night she has her Gordon House Christmas night out (she gets two Christmas do's as she's based in two separate facilities), on Saturday lunchtime she's out to lunch with the gym girls and on Saturday night she's off to see Simple Minds play the AECC.

Whew! I think Sunday may be a write off. I do feel a little guilty about not going with her on Saturday night, but when the gig was initially mooted she quickly saw the look of fear spread across my face before regaining my fixed grin.

Yes, safe to say I'm not their biggest fan. That said, there was another gig I wanted to take Carole to - Florence And The Machine, who are playing tomnorrow night at Lincoln Engine Sheds - but this plan was scuppered due to an overly busy (and already booked) social calendar. A shame though, as it would have provided the dual purpose of a great night and a visit for Luca to see his Grandma, Gramps, Nana, Grandad, Uncle, Auntie and cousins. Ach well, the best laid plans of mice and men as they say.

Anyway, Luca and I will keep ourselves busy on Saturday with a first. Weather (and illness) permitting I'll take him to Pittodrie for his first game of senior football. It'll be interesting to see how long he'll last watching Aberdeen versus Hamilton Accies on a wet and wintry afternoon. My money is on his patience lasting only until half time, and even that will surely be dependant on his supply of chocolate and Ribena.

Of course, as with all Luca related plans, it may be scuppered if he runs himself ragged at his Christmas party on Saturday morning. It's at his nursery and features a puppet show and Santa. Great fun? For Luca yes, for his Dad perhaps less so......

And lastly, Kelly - watch your PC this weekend. I'll try to Skype you when Luca and I get home from football on Saturday (around 6pm local time). We had our first Skype attempt on Monday night with his Granny and Granda, and despite the ZX Spectrum-esque blockiness of our images (anyone remember the old Speccy?) it was a success.

A relative success. Literally and figuratively.

**Useless fact of the day - Skypes present commercial value is around 5.1 billion dollars**

Bored - but Skypes back

It's around 11pm on Saturday night and I'm sitting in front of a computer writing a blog - how times change. What would I have been doing 5 years ago? I couldn't possibly comment in a family publication.

Actually, I'm older than I think (aren't we all?). 5 years ago I was only months from my 30th birthday so rather than boisterously bouncing between nightspots it's more likely I was simply sitting at home, listening to the latest obscure band I'd read about in the NME, drinking Jack Daniels and smoking my 14th cigarette of the evening.

Actually that doesn't sound too bad - especially the smoking bit. I'll never smoke again, but by God the craving never leaves you.......

I just noticed I'm chewing on a pen right now.

Not that I've wandered off on a tangent (I never do that) but perhaps I should revert to the initial point of this blog. Which was to advise that as of 6.45pm this evening Skype has been reinstalled onto my PC. Which in turn explains the grainy pictures generated from the webcam.

We are now available for Skype calls - so you can now see Luca whenever you wish. At least as long as I'm able to hold him in front of the screen.

Although the pictures are particularly grainy you may notice Luca's cheeks being a little redder than normal. It appears he's caught one of the many bugs going around just now. He's still got a little energy, but he's coughing frequently and his skin is much warmer than usual. He'll be fine, but I feel a little guilty as it's most likely he's caught it from his Dad. Extra guilt came around every time he stumbled toward me today with his arms outstretched while saying in a pathetic voice "Need a cuddle Daddy".

His Mum hasn't seen much of him today unfortunately. I took him out earlier to find a barber, but after witnessing successive hairdressers queued out the door we decided the weekend wasn't the best of times to get this done. (I don't remember barbers being quite this busy - does hair grow quicker in winter??). Instead we visited the library and shops (we read one of his new books at bedtime tonight) before bringing him home and watching him flake out into bed almost immediately.

Referring to the title of this blog, I am a little restless tonight. Carole's out at her works Christmas party and Luca's been in bed since 7.30pm which has left me housebound and without company. Even the dogs have been indifferent to me this evening - I decided to ruffle Isis' belly earlier, but this simply resulted in her getting up and walking away, of course farting as she left.

There's nothing lonelier than sitting alone in an empty kitchen on a Saturday night with only the remnants of a dog fart for company.

**Useless fact of the day - Contrary to popular misconception, the noise of a fart is not caused by the flapping of butt cheeks**

Please sir can I have some more?

Another blog within 24 hours? Who's your Daddy?

That question is obviously directed at Luca.

Actually, that reminds me - did I mention the brief period we went through a few months ago when he called me Gary for a few days? Carole and I try to remember to call each other Mummy and Daddy when he's around but Carole had obviously slipped, leaving our whippet brained youngster with Father tormenting ammunition. "Gary" he cried at me with glee. "No, not Gary, Daddy" I would exasperatingly call back at him. "No, it's Gary!" he'd shout before rolling around on the ground in hysterics.

Sorry, I digress. Liz left this morning to venture back to the land of cathedrals and pubs with glass floors (Lincoln). A real shame, but perhaps the timing works out well. I'd given Carole a copy of the zombie computer game "Left 4 Dead" yesterday which resulted in her staying up till the small hours glued to it. Indeed, with zombie shooting games being to Carole what heroin is to Amy Winehouse I've surely dropped a clanger there. Fire department be on guard, Gary will be cooking for the next week or so......

Many thanks to all who voted in the recent poll. As decided by majority vote Luca will now receive a short haircut. I'd hoped his Granny's would venture out with him yesterday to the barbers (Granny Jo came through for the afternoon to yap with Grandma Liz), but excessive coffee drinking and manic Grandson activity put the khybosh on that.

With this being the case, my Saturday morning activities now include finding a hairdresser for Luca. As it's been quite some time since I last visited such an establishment (10 years? At least) I've had to rely on the "Yellow Pages" to find somewhere.

Perhaps I could take Ross too?

Hopefully Saturday will be a little warmer than of late, with windscreen ice scraping being a regular task this past week. Luca, contrarily to most kids, noticibly feels the cold ("It's cold Daddy" he'll say as he snuggles into my chest, "We go inside quick quick") so I'd rather not have our usual weekend adventures with him shivering like a bald penguin. After the barber we intend on hitting the shops and library in Aberdeen on Saturday, while on Sunday we'll follow the same route when making tracks for the "Kids Club" at the cinema. It's "Monsters V Aliens" at the movies this weekend, and I have to admit I'm probably looking forward to it more than he is.

We're also - provisionally - booked to go to the pantomime on Sunday, but with curtains opening at 7pm I'm a little worried about Luca. He has a tendency to get very grumbly and awkward if his bedtime routine is shifted. I'm going to try to exchange the tickets (I got them free from my company) for a matinee performance instead.

Carole has her works Christmas party on Saturday night too - albeit if she can drag herself away from the laptop! That said, I'm not sure I trust her to go. I had a dream last night that she was having an affair with some bloke from "Edwards" pub. Now obviously this was just a dream, but was I justified in being upset with Carole when we woke this morning? Hmmm, perhaps not.....

However, I'm waffling more than a Birds Eye serrated potato. The purpose of the blog is to update on all Luca related activities. I've probably been slight in my descriptions of such this week, due mainly to my letting his Grandma spend as much time with him as possible. That said, he's still been a scoundrel whenever the opportunity has arisen. Indeed, his favourite tactic of late (when trying to delay bedtime) is to pretend he doesn't hear you when you tell him to come upstairs, and even when he's left with no choice he'll change the subject. For example:-
"Luca, bedtime"
"Luca, bedtime"
"LUCA, BEDTIME!"
"What is it Daddy?"
"IT'S BEDTIME LUCA!"
"Daddy, come here, we play dinosaurs now..."
And so on - I think you get the picture.

**Useless fact of the day - Bedtime is a parenting process of promoting and supporting the physical, emotional, social, and intellectual development of a child from infancy to adulthood... tradition in the West that involves, to a greater or lesser extent, rituals made to help children feel more secure, and become accustomed to a comparatively more rigid schedule of sleep than they would quite often prefer. It may involve stories, songs, nursery rhymes, and/or methods of coaxing the children into changing into their pyjamas**

I know, that's my worst useless fact ever

Grumpy Old Man

Still struggling to shake off the after effects of this bug I've been carrying. Indeed I even took a day off work on Tuesday to recuperate. In the end, however, I felt a bit of a phoney as as the day went along I decided I didn't feel quite ill enough for a "duvet day" - but as Carole had set a series of "Raiders Of the Lost Ark" esque traps throughout the house to make sure I stayed home I wasn't left with much of a choice.

I think Liz was a little perturbed to have to put up with looking after two gurning babies as well.

Yes, Luca took the day off nursery too in order to spend a little time with his Grandma. As I lay in bed I listened to the sounds Liz was enjoying throughout the day such as:-
"Luca do it!"
"Luca want it - give it to me"
"Luca watch telly now, go get me chocolate Grandma"
And of course his absolute favourite word, which he uses at least once every sentence:-
"No"

He's a treasure isn't he?

I digress, he's great - but he can be a little awkward and rambunctious right now. Poor Grandma's had a crash course in dealing with his ever increasing complexities but to be fair has coped admirably.

Luca loves being around her too. Despite generally enjoying a 3 hour sleep every afternoon he instead decided that this wasn't required on Tuesday. And he used his "tricks" to avoid his kip.....

After Grandma put him to bed he stayed there for a short while playing with his teddy's ("Iggle Piggle's fighting Dolphin!") before quietly crawling out and sneaking through to Dad's bedroom to tell me he's "Had a nice sleep Daddy".

Playing one off the other - that's Luca's favourite and most successful trick......

Last night Carole and I took advantage of Grandma's presence to head out to the cinema, this time to see the disaster movie "2012". It was without doubt Caroles favourite film in some time as we watched the world collapse in front of us (albeit in surprisingly effective CGI). I have to admit that it was quite gripping, even to the extent where you found yourself lifting your feet off the ground as cracks appeared in the earths crust on the screen.

I had a big meeting at work yesterday with various management about 2010, and gratifyingly it looks like we're going to continue bucking the recession's trend. With a number of contracts already lined up and in place all that's needed now is for me to make sure the operational staff are equipped enough to handle it before saying "go". Good news and a welcome filip as an unpredictable financial year reaches it's conclusion.

Liz goes home tomorrow - a shame, has it been a week? - so after which Carole and I will start the coundown to Christmas. Although from Luca's point of view it already has as his Christmas Calendar is opened with gusto each morning. "More chocolate for Luca!"

We bought a new Christmas tree last weekend to replace our old tree (which was so old it was starting to molt and wither - despite being plastic.....). Indeed it's even older than old Isis, the ageing pooch who's farts can clear a building quicker than tear gas.

We'll erect it this weekend (stop that sniggering in the back of the class Jenkins) and put a few decorations up too. Though with a toddler, a clumsy big wolf and manic pup we're fully expecting a little damage, chaos and tears.

Though what would Christmas be without these?

**Useless fact of the day - After reading Kelly's blog, where she "mentioned" the fact she was sspending Christmas at the idyllic "Mission Beach". As such, I've poured myself into research to find something bad about it. However, the worst thing I've found is one visitor's quote which reads as follows:-
""Not too bad, but there's not a great deal to do, particularly if the weather is bad""
Yep, the best (worst?) I could find is one indifferent opinion.**

D'oh!

Feeling like an imbecile (or a "tumshie" in Mum and Dad's native parlance) this morning after my efforts to attend the big game (Aberdeen V Rangers) on Saturday. I turned up at the ground a couple of hours before kick off only to be told they couldn't sell me a ticket! It transpires that they're barred by the police from selling match tickets anywhere near kick off time.

So to the police I say thanks very much you intellectually challenged bunch of killjoys and to myself I say - you plonker Rodney!

Still, at least the game was being shown live on TV so at least I was able to watch the memorable victory - although disappointingly Lincoln City's first live game (in history?) on the other channel had to be spurned.

Carole and Liz appeared to greatly enjoy my moment of stupidity, although gladly they took refuge in the kitchen as I proceeded to inanely shout and swear at the television screen.

Yes, Liz is here now. She arrived on schedule on Friday and has since enjoyed the last couple of days arguing with her grandson. Arguing is the new way of conversing with the young 'un as he attempts to establish his pecking order in the house.
"Luca, have a wee wee on the potty"
"No, Luca not need"
"Luca, you haven't had a wee wee all day - you'll wet your trousers"
"No, Luca watch the telly"
"Luca, if you go for a wee wee we'll give you a sweety"
"Look Mummy, Luca's doing a wee wee!"

I cooked us tea on Saturday night, a type of curry I hadn't previously attempted. Carole cleared her plate in seconds and loved it. Liz and I though? With our, errrm, difficulties with hot foods?

Poor Liz, out of sheer politeness I think, braved her way through the entire dish constantly reassuring me of it's deliciousness while simultaneously looking like her head might explode.

We'd all recovered from the hot food/wine on Sunday morning in time to visit the Thainstone Mart - albeit briefly due to the sub-arctic winds that accompanied our visit. Luca, of course, did his best to get lost.

In the afternoon poor Grandma was left in sole charge of devil boy while Carole and I went out for the afternoon together. We first went to the new (and only) Nando's restaurant (which was a bit ordinary to be honest) and followed it up with a trip to the new 3D cinema to see "Up". Terrific film, but I was left a little bemused as to how much benefit 3D added to the enjoyment.

Great film though - catch it if you can.

Today? Carole and I are back to work and Luca's back to nursery - and poor Grandma is taking a breather from the chaos while she can. It'll all begin again in earnest come teatime tonight.....

One final word on Luca. I got a lovely greeting from him this morning. I went in to wake him while breezily calling out "Good morning". He lifted his head and stared quietly at me for several seconds before muttering "Go and get Grandma"

**Useless fact of the day - The name "morning" was formed from the analogy of evening using the word morn, which comes from middle English "morwen"**

I'm getting old

My legs are sore. Indeed most of my muscles are now very cross with me after last night.

As an alternative to the usual routine of stretching out on the sofa and eating jam sandwiches while watching whichever diabolical horror movie is most current I instead made a rare pilgrimmage to the great oudoors.

Or not so great. I was playing football in Aberdeen last night, and as I arrived through a great deal earlier than I anticipated I decided - in my wisdom - that I could squeeze in a gym session too.

My mid-thirties body, resplendant with it's devastatingly dwindling fitness level, rather objected however. After an hour in the gym, followed by another hour running up and down a football pitch against players fitter and more talented than myself my muscles tweaked and pinched me with gusto, as if to say "You plonker Rodney"

My evening of frivolity, allied to that of Caroles usual fitness class, meant that we had to play "Pass the Parcel" with our son again. Thankfully his Grandad was obliging and picked the wee man up from nursery and took him home with him to Banchory. All very nice for him (he loves his Grandparents), but it resulted in a late night for our shaggy headed lad. He was still fast asleep even as I left the house for work this morning.

Referring to his shaggy head, see the accompanying poll to this blog and let me know your opinion - Carole and I are as yet undecided.

Liz is coming up to stay again on Friday, so Carole and I are desperately making our way through our built up collection of horror films before she arrives - funnily Liz doesn't share our enthusiasm for watching eyes ripped from their sockets and intestines used as skipping ropes.

Going back to Luca (plus ca change), his interest in music has reached a new juncture. Although still mainly interested in his nursery rhymes he also recognises and enjoys specific pop and rock. Lady Gaga (american dance pop star) and The XX (obscure electro-indie) are perversely and diversely his favourites.

I am careful, however, about limiting his musical exposure. Indeed to this day I can't listen to "Yellow Submarine" by the Beatles without being reminded of car journeys sat in the back seat feeling car sick as Lucy pokes me in the ribs growling "your bottoms on my bit of the seat" while Kelly twiddles my ear to submission.

Are we there yet?

**Useless fact of the day - The first cars did not have steering wheels, they were steered with a lever**

The Day After The Night Before

Blog ahoy. My second in two days, and still it pales into comparison with the rest of the family - even Lucy is blogging regularly! What next? Aliens on earth in khaki trousers?

I'm particularly enjoying Kelly's blogs right now. Obviously she has much to report - she's living in Australia now for fricks sake - but it's the overall tone of her entries that's fascinated me. Is it just me or does she seem rather content?

I'll let her off with living 10,467.22 miles away from here (to be precise) as long as she's happy. And as long as she stops telling us how hot it is while we (metaphorically and literally) drown across here.

In fact Carole and I risked pneumonia last night as we dashed from the car to the restaurant (Poldino's). It was tipping down again - quelle surprise - but thankfully the quality of our meals made us forget about our soggy toes. We both had bruschetta for starters and Carole had sole for main while I plumped for the veal. All delicious, and made me glad I'd changed our restaurant reservation at the last minute.

I took her to the Theatre afterwards to see "Chicago". She loved it despite the seats not being as great as I'd imagined allied to the sahara-esque temperature that had formed by the shows interval.

Carole was playing with all her presents when we got home last night - thanks again to everybody for the gifts, cards and best wishes. She's really grateful.

I do think, however, that I may not see her again for another 6 months while she shoots zombies on her laptop whilst simultaneously getting drunk on a variety of alcoholic concoctions made with her new cocktail maker.

I'm collecting Luca from his grandparents tonight - thanks Mum and Dad for withstanding an overnight Luca barrage - and hopefully he'll be plum tuckered out by the time we roll up home.

As Luca said on Wednesday as we pulled away from his the house in Banchory "I like Granny Jo and Granda - they're my friends"

**Useless fact of the day - It will come as no surprise that 'tuckered out' is an American phrase. No 'B-feature' western from the 1930s and 1940s was complete without Gabby Hayes being 'plumb tuckered out'. Hayes' contribution to the genre was celebrated by Mel Brooks in the 1974 film Blazing Saddles. In that, a look-alike actor played the part of Gabby Johnson, spouting 'authentic frontier gibberish' - "dad gum it, I am gonna die here an' no sidewindin bushwackin, hornswaglin, cracker croaker is gonna rouin me biscuit cutter"**

Caroles Birthday

I know I'm pointing out the bleedingly obvious (to the UK contingent of our readership at least) but today is Caroles birthday.

Happy birthday sugar!

The day has only just started (it's narey 10am as I write) so I can't descriptively mention what we're doing tonight (more on that tomorrow) but I have at least presented her with her cards and gifts - of which there were many.

I won't thank everyone for their generosity (mainly due to the time we unwrapped the gifts being earlier than the hour at which my brain wakes up for the day) but will instead concentrate on the present Mum, Dad and I clubbed together for - a new laptop.

I think it was popular......

I'll describe the other gifts and card she received tomorrow. Although my brain wasn't functioning as she opened them (it was still dark outside for gawds sake) I do vaguely recall much smiling so I'm guessing there was much appreciation there.

Before I go further I must apologise for the gap between blogs. I've been on a course for work (Dangerous Goods - oooh the excitement) these past few days which has been pretty intensive. Surprisingly I passed well though. Surprising as most of my contemporaries failed. I can now tell you whether Ethyl Nitrate (UN1257, PGII) can be shipped with Componium (UN5252, PGI) by air to Turkmenistan in Excepted Quantities. Handy eh? More utterly useless information to further clog up up my ever depleting memory.

As usual my memory doesn't serve me well when attempting to recall events more than a few days ago (It's like my brain cells are dolphins and my cranium is being attacked by Japanese fishermen) but I will try. Luca and I went to the cinema again on Sunday. Already his memory exceeds that of his father. "Come on Luca, get in the car - we're going to the cinema" "The cinema Daddy? We eat chocolate again at the cinema?"

He is obsessed with chocolate and can sense it even from a distance of 15 miles....

It was rotten this time though. Our first trip a fortnight ago featured a relatively watchable movie "Ice Age III". However, the featured film at this weeks kids club was "The Legend of Desperaux". Yep, I've never heard of it either. It was a computer animated cartoon featuring a mouse who had to save a Princess. Are you yawning yet? Imagine having to actually sit through that. Even Luca eventually lost interest around 15 minutes from the end. "We go home now Daddy" he proclaimed with chocolate round his mouth and jelly sweeties hanging out his nose.

We made time to visit a few shops before we traipsed home however. He's fascinated by the hustle and bustle of the city but it does mentally and physically wear him out extremely quickly. Indeed, when we eventually arrived home he didn't even have the strength to walk up the steps himself - he came in hoisted over my shoulder like a bag of potatoes.

Do you remember the days when I posted photo's on the blog? Those days will return. Tomorrow. Maybe.

**Useless fact of the day - Technically the most corrosive substance on earth is water. Go figure**

Friday 13th November

Should I enter a blog today, or with it being Friday the 13th should I just hide under the bed and wait for it to pass without incident like normal people do?

Hiding under the bed isn't the most practical solution, but considering my luck lately with flu bugs, work, cars and stroppy sons perhaps I should pay more heed to superstition......

Yeah I'm exaggerating.

Kellys back! Figuritively speaking of course, as physically she still resides approximately 10500 miles away. However, I'm delighted to see her new blog started. Kellys adventures indeed.

A list of what I expect in Kelly's blog over the coming weeks:-
Picture of a kangaroo with boxing gloves on
Traditional Aussie recipes
Confirmation that she will come home to visit sometime...

All else seems rather mundane compared to Kelly's expedition and gradual realisation that she's going to have to learn to swear like an Aussie if she is to fit in, but here go's....

My bug seems to have reached it's zenith, with various fluids of all the colours of the rainbow now escaping from my nose. That's a good thing right? I'm either healing or dying and tempted as I am to don my usual pessimists hat I will instead throw myself in front of the truck of logic and accept I'm getting better.

Which is just as well as the weekend approaches. Karen is coming round for dinner tonight so it's probably a good thing that I'm now unlikely to infect her. Caroles cooking, and she did tell me what but due to my flu-ey brain I can't recall.

On Saturday I'm off to Dunfermline to watch Partick Thistle play. I fully expect a mightily impressive performance from the Jags followed by the wearying constant that we'll likely get beat again.

Luca? He and I haven't really seen eye to eye this week. I am persona non grata right now (Mummy is flavour of the month) and as such have few stories to tell. "No like these beanies Daddy, take them away" and "Noooooooooooooo" seem to be the only words I've been able to extract from him of late.

And I'm sure you're all remembering that Caroles birthday is only a week away now....

**Useless fact of the day - 2008 movie "The Dark Knight" is listed on IMDB (the most reputable film site) as the 9th greatest film of all time ahead of "Goodfellas", "Psycho" et al. But how much time should pass between release and elevation into greatness?**

Wednesday 11th November 2009

No more photo's of me in the pub today I'm certain you'll be glad to hear. Though less well received is the fact I also have no pictures of Luca either. I imagine you may now struggling to recall what your grandson/nephew/cousin even looks like now.

I can remember though - he resembles the devil incarnate. I'm a little under the weather this week (a touch of man flu) so appreciate the love and tenderness shown by my family. Or not in Luca's case.

Demon boy completely failed to even register my presence the other day. I came home on Monday night to the usual sight of his Mum attempting to convince the mop haired one to eat his tea ("No like it, want nana and ice cream"). I came in and sat down beside them at the kitchen table. "Hello Mummy" I said. "Hello Daddy" Carole smiled back. "Hello Luca" I continued as I turned toward him. He continued to eat his beans. "Luca?" I said louder. Beans continued to be shovelled into his mouth as his eyes steadfastly kept their gaze on his plate. "Luca!!" I shouted as his eyes darkened as he continued to refuse to even acknowledge me.

I took this as a sign that I should just go out and put the spare wheel on my car.

Oh yes, I didn't mention that. I drove over another nail and punctured my tyre. Again. Nails and any car I drive seem to peculiarly be drawn toward each another. Like Romeo and Juliet with an ending of similar happiness.

Yesterday was a little better though. It was my turn to collect Luca from nursery so after pleasingly being greeted in the usual manner ("That's my Daddy, that's my Daddy, that's my Daddy") we picked up his coat and prepared to leave. However, Luca noticed a 20p piece on the floor. "Money" he correctly stated "Chocolate coin?" he continued with a little less accuracy. "No, just a normal one I'm afraid boy" I answered.

"We go buy chocolate at the shop with the money?" Luca asked with hopefulness in his eyes. How can you say no? We made our way to the shop with Luca gripping the 20p with all his strength. "Open the chocolate" he begged the shop assistant as she scanned his "Fudge" bar through. "There you go" she replied as she handed the bar to him. I carried him back to the car while he salivated like a wild animal in a zoo at feeding time.

**Useless fact of the day - Chocolate brings instant comfort and acts as a mild anti-depressant by increasing our serotonin and endorphin levels**

Monday 9th November 2009

With blogs now being entered as often as Gordon Brown spells fallen soldiers names correctly (too topical?) then I imagine you're a little surprised to see todays photograph NOT feature a certain shaggy headed toddler. We had a works quiz night recently and above is the picture taken of the rabble at our table. Everyone looks relatively upright in this picture so I imagine it was taken relatively early in the evening. Heres a little game for you to play - which individual in this photograph was so drunk by the end of the night they fell down the steps on their way out and broke two ribs?

I'm just back to work today after taking Friday off - my second day off of last week. As always I find myself with innumerable holidays still to take as the year end rapidly approaches. Not a terrible situation to be in granted!

It's been a relatively quiet time since my last post, with the usual toddler and dog related incidents to keep us on our toes. Luca's nightmares have increased again of late, with the latest resulting in terrified screams emanating from his bedroom. Due to this I went flying through to find him curled in a ball in the top corner of his bed. "What is it?" I asked breathlessly while simultaneously scanning his room for anything (or anyone) untoward. "It's Mr Froggy" he blubbed, "Mr Froggy is scratching my toes!". How do you respond to that? After taking his bed apart to prove that there was no "Mr Froggy" hiding within I eventually settled him back down.

I adore the fact he continues to give us so much ammunition to humilate him with when he brings home his first girlfriend.

That said, I'm not sure that day is far off - he and Sky (who have been best buddies since he started at nursery) are very close and seem to hug each other with great regularity. Indeed, she's about the only one he doesn't beat up right now!

I exaggerate of course, but he seems to have been a little overly physical of late whilst at nursery. Obviously we're hoping this is just a phase, but if it's not we'll simply train him up to become a boxing world heavyweight champion. See, I can think laterally!

We unfortunately missed the firework display on Saturday due to time constrictions. I was in the city earlier in the day to watch Aberdeen win (a rarity these days) with Dad (again a rarity these days), and with the fact we were having dinner with friends in the evening left it to be an impractibility. Still, Luca and I watched the fireworks in the distance from our living room window as his Mum cooked (a tasty Thai curry). "Ooooohhh" was his reaction as the sky exploded.

Sima's reaction was naturally different. As every bang sounded she scurried ever further into her safe spot behind the kitchen bin. Poor pup.

On Sunday, as Carole rested her hungover body, Luca and I drove through to Aberdeen to visit the brand new shopping centre, "Union Square" (for Kelly and Lucy's benefit it's a massive complex situated between the train and bus station). Our main duty was to exchange a pair of boots Carole had purchased the previous week, but due to the (highly surprisingly) early hour we arrived the shop hadn't even opened. Luca was nonplussed with this as he sprinted around the almost empty centre with his signature call of "follow me" echoing round every bend.

Obviously his stamina does have limits though (as does mine) so when I noticed the cinema was open I took us in for a look. Highly coincidentally a special kids showing of "Ice Age 3" had just started so after stocking up with a pick'n'mix Luca and I ventured into Screen 8 for his very first movie at the cinema.

Yep, he loved it. He sat on my knee throughout munching his chocolate as the huge images on screen flashed above him. He kept quiet and still throughout, with his silence only interrupted by his occasional call of "Bad dinosaur!". He did bump his head on my chin at one point too when a dinosaur burst onto the screen causing his first cinema scare.

Later that day he got a chance to visit his grandparents too - albeit briefly due to tiredness causing (what is now commonly known) as his "meltdown"

**Useless fact of the day - The heaviest dinosaur was Brachiosaurus at 80 tonnes. It was the equivalent to 17 African Elephants. Brachiosaurus was 16m tall and 26m long and is the largest dinosaur skeleton to be mounted in a museum.**