Sunday 23rd August 2009

A little change to the usual Sunday routines today, as Luca and I made our first foray to the local Catholic Church. Both pictures below were taken in the church just before the service started and his cheery disposition lasted almost throughout.

I say almost - this is Luca after all. By the time we'd reached Communion (over an hour in - Catholic ceremonies are not noted for their brief running time) he was hot, bothered and hungry. By this stage he was in my arms and rubbing his hair into my face purely as a means to entertain himself!

That makes him sound more unruly than he was. He was surprisingly quiet and attentive almost throughout. And I did understand his occasional displays of fidginess - I found myself daydreaming and creating drum loops by tapping on my collarbone at various stages, so as the church themselves would say "those who are without sin may cast the first stone"

He did get a reward for his good behaviour when we left - see the picture below which was taken outside the church car park. The peculiar grimace on his face is his annoyance at my insisting on a smile as he attempted to literally hoover his Hula Hoops down.

Yesterday was a curious one too. We were at a BBQ in Westhill, which doubled primarily as a one year olds birthday party. The weather gratefully held out, the company was good and the food terrific (I need to find where I can buy that cake), yet it was curiously the first barbecue we've ever been to where there was no alcohol - not even one drink! We eventually left around tea time having come to the conclusion that although perhaps inebriation isn't recommended at such events a shandy or two can certainly help. Suffice to say on arrival home the beer and Jack Daniels quickly found their way out the cupboards!

The rest of the week - since our last entry - has been relatively un-noteworthy, mainly due to work. Indeed, I didn't get home until after 9pm on Friday night due to the culmination of a number of factors, but mainly the attempt to finish off before my forthcoming week off. However, there's still a bit to do so I'm planning to go in for a few hours in the morning (albeit with my phone off the hook and emails left unchecked!)

On Friday Liz arrives up to stay or a week or so, and (as I understand) is bursting to see Luca - who himself has been talking about it so much I'm certain the feeling is mutual. I'll pick her up from the train station in my car, which coincidentally is pictured below:-

That was for Mikes benefit!

**Useless fact of the day - The only railway to go to the top of a volcano was built on Mount Vesuvius in Italy, in 1880. Probably not the greatest decision ever made**

Wednesday 19th August 2009

Hot off the presses comes news of Luca's doctors appointment - of which there is little of note. He had his appointment first thing today, but as sods law dictated that he made an immediate recovery as soon as the appointment was originally arranged there was little for the doctor to investigate. However, he reconfirmed Caroles suspicions that this was most likely the tail end (forgive the unintentional pun) of a virus he's been carrying. To err on the safe side of caution we're collecting a sample of his "number two" later today which will be whisked off to the hospital for analysis.

All the way through Luca's been fine though. He did complain a few times of having a sore stomach, sides and back but it can't have been too painful as the usual routine was perenially followed:-
"Got a sore tummy"
"Would you like Mummy/Daddy to kiss it better?"
"Yes please" (always said in the most pathetic voice you can imagine)
"OK, we'll kiss it better now - is that alright?"
"All better - play with cars now! Luca ride on his bike and play with his Simsim. Want nana and chocolate sprinkles now and do some bouncing"
Ad infinitum!

At present he's out for lunch with Carole and her friend Annie (or "Aunty Aunty" as he calls her) to celebrate her birthday at Inveruries garden centre restuarant. We're not exactly a bustling metropolis here, and as such the garden centre is one of the better places to eat. As the competition consists primarily of a coffee shop run by a man with a peculiar BO and an ice cream cafe with tables older than myself this isn't the greatest of boasts.

Later Luca will be dropped at his Grannie's house while Carole go's to her fitness class - I'll pick him up once I leave the office and face the usual battle to take him home. "No, go away Daddy, Luca stay with Granny, no like you no more"

Sometimes parenthood is such a pleasure....

Today is the first time in a couple of months I've had a chance to enter a quick blog at work. It's been chaos here of late and a real stretch. Just yesterday I - finally - completed a tender worth approximately £2 million per annum and based on a culmination of the type of company the Asco Group is mixed with the figures I've provided (quietly confident there) we're well positioned to obtain this, which will commence from December. Glad the hard work is done there, I was starting to suffer figure blindness and was frequently going home with a brain which had run out of fuel.

Please take a second to consider Carole's likely thoughts to that last statement.

I'm certain you didn't log on to read about my work day (I win the award for the family member working within the dullest industry), so instead I'll wrap this up and promise to post a picture (or two) of Luca, the little Carole doppelganger very soon.

**Useless fact of the day - If you keep your toothbrush less than 6ft away from your toilet, it will likely be infected with airborne particles resultant from the flush**

Sunday 16th August 2009

Too many days have passed between blogs - again. This week it's been sort of unavoidable due to a hectic week at work, complicated further by five staff members being off concurrently. As the main reason for this was due to holidays I've already put measures into place to ensure this will not happen again!



I've still managed to see Luca most nights however, mainly due to a reduction in my commuting time - I'm off the buses and back in a car at last! The main work to my new (old?) Audi is complete and as such I've been hitting the open roads again. A nice feeling certainly, and a real bonus this week when taking into account my increased hours in the office. Perversely however, I'd got used to public transport to such an extent that I will miss it to a degree. Living life without the added complication of road rage is not necessarily a bad thing!




That said, the extra time (and energy) afforded by driving has offered me the chance to do a little more with my spare time. As such, this week I've been to Banchory, Aberdeen city centre, the gym (twice!) and, most recently, Pittodrie (Aberdeens football ground). However, the latter event (from yesterday) wasn't the positive I thought it may be. Another in a long succession of heavy defeats demonstrated again the perverse torture football fans put themselves through year after year.

The trip to the pub apres game was good though......

As always, Luca's been fun this week too. Both his Mum and Grandma have embarrassed me this week by putting Luca on the phone to me while I've been at work. Nothing wrong with that you may think, but due to the industry I work in it's rare that I'm alone in my office, and as such on both occasions I've had to endure the usual strange, cutesy, stilted telephone conversation with my son while a colleague stands beside me waiting to discuss something. You know that feeling you get when you feel your ears go red and burn hotter than the surface of the sun? Yep, both times.

Health wise Luca hasn't had a great week however. He's just as buoyant as ever, but he's been using the toilet far more than normal. Indeed, it's commonplace for him to have a poo 3 or 4 times within the space of several minutes. Usually the last two are mainly mucous based. It's a curious one, but did appear to improve at the end of the week. However, frustratingly, it's returned with a vengeance this weekend so a doctors appointment will be necessary tomorrow.

Carole and I are both resisting the temptation to do an internet diagnosis before then. The last time I did that was when something was flagged up during my works medical a couple of years ago. I googled the problem and immediately convinced myself that I was about to suffer kidney failure. However, it turned out that I was just a little dehydrated that day...... Lessons learnt eh?

I'm still doing the majority of the evening cooking right now, and I've just realised that we've been living on almost entirely vegetarian concoctions of late. Even more strangely is the fact that I haven't missed eating meat at all. Now I'm consciously aware of this fact I'm seriously considering letting this experiment continue indefinitely.

Yesterday was primarily a washout due to football/exercise classes/shopping/pub/etc but today has been much more productive on the home front. Caroles gutted the inside of the house while outside, dangerously, I've been attempting my DIY thing. I'm terrible at anything DIY related (as most of you are painfully aware) but the decking in our back garden needed sorted and as I couldn't think of a legitimate reason to put it off any further I threw myself into it. After much clearing, fixing, sanding and oiling we have a much more pleasing view from our kitchen patio doors. I'm adding another coat during the week (weather permitting - this is Scotland remember!) but at last most summer jobs are almost complete before the summer ends.

I'll update again in a day or two with the results from Luca's doctors appointment. I'm aware I haven't mentioned too many Luca related incidents this week, but that's not to say there's not been any. He's ridden me like a horse, made his own sandwiches, learnt the alphabet, watched "Lazy Town" on television too many times for our sanity to hold firm, had his hair cut, continues to insist Sima is his dog (not Caroles or mine!), had nightmares where "the dinosaurs coming to get me" and tried to run down the supermarket escalator as it moved upwards....

My "finally" paragraph encapsulates two subjects today. Firstly, we've found a football training class for children aged from two years plus. Unfortunately it only takes place during the day on weekdays. I'll avoid "Victor Medrewing" about the fact that most fathers work and hence can't take their son to classes during the week (grrrr) and simply placate myself with the fact that once a month I'll take a half day from work and take him along. Even if he doesn't enjoy it we can instead spend the afternoons making prank phone calls to his mummy.

Secondly - yes I'm aware my final paragraph has split into two - in response to Dad's musings on what colour his new BMW Tourer should be, I asked Luca what he thought earlier today. "Yellow" was his suggestion.

**Useless fact of the day - Rumour has it that if you say the Lord's Prayer backwards at midnight whilst staring in a mirror, the devil will appear behind you**

Monday 10th August 2009

And so continues the secret diary of Mr Magoo. Yes, they're my glasses. No, they don't look any better on me. Yes Luca does look a little like excruciatingly unfunny comedian Drew Carey.



Again my time has been allocated elsewhere, resulting in the frustratingly long gap of a week between blogs. Most frustrating for me as my memory is so poor I struggle to clearly recollect what has occurred prior to breakfast which (you'll have noticed) results in less descriptive blogs. I'll try to summarise day by day as you admire more Luca pictures.

Tuesday to Friday last week was - for the most part - taken up by work with very little aside. Carole and I have (embarrassingly) been fascinated yet again by the culturally and morally questionable curiosity that is Big Brother, while forgoing any educationally stimulating viewing.

Though is there such a thing in this televisual age of "Men & Motors", "Dave" and "Watch"?

We did find time, however, to get Sima back to the vets. Although she appeared to quickly recover from her operation it transpires that she caught an infection. Nothing too nasty - although the swollen and puss filled lumps beneath her stitches weren't pretty - but it has necessitated a course of antibiotics.

Saturday, as with most weekends, provided extra opportunity to take Luca out. After a particularly rude pre 7am awakening we took him along to get a new pair of shoes in town. As always he was far more interested in everything (anything) around him - everything excluding shoes! Also, despite keeping them on when we left the shop they endured very little street wear due to his desire to be carried. By this time Carole had left to go to her fitness class, and although it's quite endearing when he decides he just wants to spend his time being attached to your chest it's also becoming quite wearing. As the summer reaches it's climax and temperatures reach a crescendo Luca's ever increasing weight does get noticed by the strain in my arm. In fact I'm looking at my left forearm now and I swear it's been slowly curved into a toddler's bottom shaped angle.

Despite my need to get home and release this ACME type weight from my arms I deemed it necessary to take advantage of the weather and venture to the monthly farmers market. Many samples later (Luca tasted various cake, chocolate, juice and cheese products at almost every stall!) we made our way to the nearest bus stop to get home. "Go faster Daddy" urged Luca as I ran toward the stop to catch the handily waiting bus "Luca miss the bus! No walk Daddy, faster!!". He perhaps could have increased our pace by agreeing to run alongside me as I was, by this point, carrying numerable market bags, Luca's essentials bag and his potty (yes we take it everywhere) along with the chubby one himself. Any suggestion of this was, however, met with such a whine that Bush Dogs in South America returned his call. As such I trundled, pantingly and sweatily, like an overworked and lanky camel toward our waiting transport.

After getting home - and after watching Luca devour my much anticipated farmers market fudge - I dropped to the floor briefly to recover before continuing with days tasks.

Later that day, after a hearty lunch and nap for Luca, we drove Carole through to her pals in Aberdeen for a margarita night. I have to admit I was glad they were staying in rather than going out. The area of Aberdeen - Great Northern Road - where she lives was surely the most deprived area in Aberdeen I've witnessed. The endless buildings upon buildings of flats were so archaic and badly treated they appeared more suitable for destruction than habitation, while other delights included the lively sound of families and neighbours hurling abuse at one another. This doesn't even take into account flung excrement on the windows and bottles of urine casually sitting atop window ledges.

Luca and I went home quickly after to catch the tail end of the first live TV game of the season on BBC1. It appeared to be a good game, although my enjoyment was continually interrupted by Luca complaining that he "No like football" and to "Put it off, watch Wonderpets" instead. Hopefully this is just a brief stage he's going through before reinvigorating his appetite in time to achieve his goal of becoming a top level professional footballer for Partick Thistle.

Speaking of football, at the end of this month I'm taking Luca to his first game of football. Just local - Highland league team Inverurie Loco's - but will he likely endure the entire 90 minutes? Discuss.

On Sunday Luca and I had another busy morning of swimming, market hunting and shopping, all in gorgeous sub-tropical temperatures. He loved it, although his Daddy was forced to look a little sheepish after returning home to Mummy with a son munching a bag of crisps - minutes before lunch was due. Ooops....

After an afternoon spent preparing the decking in our back garden for staining - I job I am actively dreading! - Carole and I had a lazy night eating hangover food and watched a film on DVD she and Mum (my Mum, Jo - do keep up) had considered going to the cinema to see:- "Angels & Demons". It seems their decision not to go in the end was the correct decision. The film sucked worse than a paraplegic octopus. It started in a confused fashion - Carole had no idea what was going on, while I only knew as I'd read the book - before becoming ever more obvious, to the point of treating it's viewers like morons by the end.

And nuff said about Ewan McGregor playing an Italian priest with a strong Edinburgh accent.

Finally, much respect to Luca who last week sat on the toilet rather than the potty for the first time. See picture below of this momentous moment (seconds before his wrongly angled willy sprayed upward like an exotic yellow fountain)

**Useless fact of the day - Toddlers are, pound for pound, stronger than oxen. This is especially true of their legs**

Monday 3rd August 2009

A veritable plethora of pictures today. Have I set a personal record? Much has happened since my last blog - which in itself seems a century ago - although as usual I'll skirt round the verges of what has happened rather than go into too great a detail. As per normal I write this at "rudely late at night" o'clock. I'm so tired my eyeballs are drier than a Richard Pryor punchline.

And talking of dryness, Luca's potty training has proven to be a great success. At least until Sunday morning...... The wee man had a bad case of diarrhoea! I don't know whether he or his Mum were more shocked when it first happened, but suffice to say his very cute pair of Iggle Piggle pants now reside in the bin rather then his cupboard. A couple more episodes ensued, and allied with this he continually approached us saying "My tummy hurts" before leaning in very sombrely for extended cuddles.

As such, Carole took today off work to look after him, while I'll do my duty tomorrow. That said, it is purely precautionary now - his recovery appears to have been as rapid as the bugs initial arrival.

It's strange how quickly these things can come on. Only 24 hours previously he'd accompanied me to the airport to collect his grandparents from their American holiday and had been full of beans. Indeed, so excited was he with the prospect of seeing them after weeks without contact he spent much of the journey to the airport screaming their names. "Going to see GRANNY! And GRANDA". Most likely they heard him as they approached from 30000 feet.

He's actually mentioned his Granda regularly of late, mainly due to the presence of his car in our driveway. I utilised his Volvo while they were away mainly to assist me in my search for a new car. And, at last, the search is over. The picture below shows the style/colour/etc, and it'll be on the road in the next couple of days.

Thankfully my busing/walking days near the end - as my back is presently ageing more quickly than any other part of my body. Yesterday for no good reason (other than hoovering and playing with Luca) it packed up on me, causing the perverse sight of a 6ft 2 length of streaky bacon to be laid across our living room floor in near agony. Thankfully my family are kindly, caring people, so while Carole found new and ever more innovative ways to mock my predilection Luca decided that a Dad on the floor is to used primarily as a step to jump from. Over and over he climbed onto my stomach before jumping off. You think he's still little and light? You tell that to my back......

As the hour reaches "very, very rude o'clock" I must sign off. I am aware there are many facets of the past week I haven't covered, but I'll revert back to these instances in detail - at a more decent hour next time. Goodnight, and please pray for Luca's squirty bum and my creaky old back.

Finally (yes, this is my usual absent minded PPS), I have to mention the time discrepancy between the photo's on view. The ones with his Grandma Liz are indeed months old and are featured as I've only just discovered hidden away in the darkest reaches of the digital camera. However, they are found now and as such Luca's impressive belly can live on in great infamy.

**Useless fact of the day - Researchers found that around 80 percent of early-school-aged children that were overweight or obese still had weight issues by the time they reached the age of 12. The research also showed that what a child weighed as early as the age of 2 or 3 was a factor in what they weighed when they were 12.