Having been posted missing longer than Shergar I'm faced with a bit of a conundrum. Do I attempt to recall key events from the previous 5 weeks (yes, it really has been that long since my last entry) in a semi chronological order? Or just let my brain run freely (yes, I'm relative certain of it's existence) and just batter the keyboard in that resolutely two fingered style of the modern man, forlornly hoping for the spirit of Tolstoy to bless my creative wares? As blank as I am tonight, I'd even accept the spirit of Dan bloody Brown right about now.

I knew the answer to this question before I even reached the question mark. Let's begin with a healthy image, that of Luca devouring a Mackie's chocolate ice cream on Saturday at the "Taste of Grampian" festival. As mentioned previously (indeed in a blog posted exactly a year ago), this is an annual event, a huge one day food and drink festival visited by over 15,000 hungry attendees. The price's make even Wimbledon's appear reasonable however, as the £8 charged for Carole and my (4 prawn) prawn cocktail demonstrated.

Sticking with the food theme, the delectable picture featured above was my pre-match meal before the recent "Firhill Fun Day". It tasted better than it looked, but I suspect it perhaps wasn't packed with the necessary nutrients the modern day athlete (yes, we're talking about me) requires prior to heavy physical exertion. With the logic centre of my brain in hyperdrive, I attempted to counter this appalling dish by drinking several large bottles of energy drinks 20 minutes before kickoff. The result of this? I moved about the pitch with all the grace of an overfilled water bed. See link below to see a picture taken on the day of me attempting to look like I knew what I was doing:- http://m.flickr.com/#/photos/71358531@N06/7190189246/

Back to Luca now, and the look of sheer excitement. To gain this look of outright joy have I promised him a giant, motorised chocolate car, chauffeured by Optimus Prime? No, the sparkle in his eyes is caused by the photograph's location - aboard the upper deck of a double decker bus. This is his ultimate treat. Why? I don't know. I'm not entirely sure I even care enough to contemplate the answer. But it makes him smile, and that's a good enough reason for me.

Speaking of whom, tonight is his 2nd night away from home. He's staying with Granny Jo and Granda Ian until tomorrow due to (yet another) school closure. This time it's due to the Queen's Jubilee. Which we in Scotland don't celebrate, and continue to work through, hence the need for grandparents to step in again. I really do wonder if schoolteachers actually do any work, or if their life is a vacuum of endless holidays and minimal responsibility for over inflated salaries. I wish I knew a teacher to whom I could pose the question.

I really need a compute chair. Typing this in front of the computer monitor from the floor of my bedroom really does over accentuate the lack of fat in my behind. The threadbare bedroom carpet, which I think was laid around the time of the Boer Wars, doesn't help matters greatly either. However, I do need to put up with a bony backside for a little longer. A recent blood test at the doctors (taken due to my constant exhaustion) has indicated a very low haemoglobin count in my blood. This explained the severe lack of energy, and the need to react quickly with a major change in diet. Out has gone the ice cream, chocolate bars and cookies. In has come fish, rice, pulses and green vegetables, with snacks of endless bowls of porridge as my "treats". A culinary delight it has surely proven not to be, with the drop in fat and calories providing a double negative. My next test is next Tuesday, so please pray to the deity of your choice for an improvement in my blood. I miss nice food.

While you're at it, you can pray for the rest of my family too. Carole? Dislocated a finger during a horse event, caused by the horse yanking on the reigns. Luca? Where do I start. His latest misadventure resulted in him flying face first into the bottom shelf of the toy aisle in an Aberdeen supermarket. How was that achieved? His words at the time of "Watch how fast I can spin" in the confined space gave me the foresight to predict what would happen, if not the speed to cover the distance between us quickly enough to nullify the threat.

At least he's becoming more adventurous, as our cautious 5 year old slowly gains a little boldness. This overcoming of doubt is beginning to transfer it's way to his football training. Very recently we reached a point where his Mum asked the question as to whether it was worth his continuing involvement. The contrast from then to now is remarkable. His last 3 sessions have shown a marked improvement, and a very noticeable change in the type of player he's becoming. His increased workrate and confidence have turned him into a tackler, and during games he hares around the pitch in search of the ball, tackling whoever is unfortunate enough to have possession. He's unquestionably the most accomplished passer at his session too. It's great to see, and the big smile that adorns his flushed, tired and sweaty face at the final whistle is good to see.

There's so much more to tell, but I've left it too long between posts. In the next instalment I'll detail the events of last Thursday night, where two separate sets of friends ended up in hospital with varying ailments, resulting in a night of no sleep and the temporary addition of another 5 year old boy and a rambunctious dog to our household.

**Useless fact of the day - Scientists are of the opinion that if city of Atlantis existed, it would be bigger than today’s Libya and Asia combined**