Here's Johnny

Following my brief flirtation with Facebook I've returned to my former mistress, the blog. Compared to social networking blogging seems almost archaic in comparison.

Which isn't necessarily a criticism.

Which is all incidental to the photographic odes of joy which follow.




I've been on holiday this week, taking my turn to look after Luca during the school summer break. It feels like we've crammed a fair amount of activities into the week, yet the feeling persists I perhaps didn't add the variety I originally intended.

That said, the photo above is pretty representative of our time off so far, taking advantage of the beautiful sun which has surely got lost as it hovers above our usually rain soaked isles. Luca has loved the opportunity to be outdoors all day, and demonstrate how superior his footballing skills are to his dad's. He's still only 7. I am ashamed.



Initially showing a little trepidation toward the outdoor fitness equipment at a nearby park, Luca eventually challenged me to a repetition competition on the apparatus above. Over 10 seconds he was able to do more than me. I'm not using his shorter legs as an excuse. I am ashamed. Again.




I don't recall this picture. Just another Luca pose. He's starting to become very conscious of his physicality, in varying ways. As examples he now refuses to meet up with his peers unless his hair is perfect, and he spent last night measuring his legs, insisting one was longer than the other. It isn't.




We've had a few long dog walks. The above being my least favourite. Why? I didn't expect the aged, decrepit Isis to still enjoy jumping in rivers. But she does, and my car now perma-stinks of wet dog. I'm not entirely serious however, as it was pleasing to take the old girl on a walk where we were able to safely let her off lead again. She's approaching 14 years of age now, and is completely blind and deaf. Yet she retains such energy and makes a mockery of her breeds expected 12 year life span. We suspect she's immortal. Perhaps Hollywood can remake Highlander as a canine equivalent, starring our dumb fluffy beast.




See, this is why I take photos. Cute as the proverbial button. Evil, but cute.




Completely off topic, I found this online earlier. Our 3rd team (Lincoln City) signed 3 new players today. Doesn't each look absolutely delighted with where their professional footballing careers has taken them?




Did anyone ever see the 80's movie Big? Do you remember the bit where Tom Hanks and Robert Loggia jumped around on the giant toy keyboard, creating a near perfect rendition of Chopsticks? Luca's attempt above was nothing like that.




Here's a photo of the recent Isle Of Harris Half Marathon. Yes, that's not me. This is the only photo of that race I can find online. What a beautiful island though, despite the medics keeping me captive for over 2 hours after the race. I was a bit buggered, to be fair.




This is Ugali, a traditional Kenyan runners dish made from Maize Meal. I purchased some recently and cooked it up. It looks like mashed potato, but I can confidently state it tastes nothing like it. Consistency of PlayDough and (probably) tastes the same too.



Back to Luca again, posing in front of a prominent statue in Aberdeens city centre during one of our visits to the NE capital this week. We've spent a significant proportion of our holidays in the city this week, mainly for three visits to the cinema. Yes, that's 3 visits. In 4 days. I think I have a problem.




We'll finish of course with Luca, resplendent in his Partick Thistle hoodie. He loves the top, despite his opinion of the team - "Rubbish". I'm trying, but I think the generational Stewart support of the famous Glasgow minnows is going to end with me.

I plan to blog again next week, with details of Carole's Horse Trial from Englandshire. Having qualified by winning her last contest, I took her and Finnan to Kirriemuir on Wednesday to meet up with teammates (and awesomely expensive looking uber horse trailer) for the trip South. I have to admit to being surprised by how much progress she's made in such a short period of time, and I'm genuinely proud.

Luca, naturally, is almost wilfully and blissfully ignorant of the event. Or indeed anything that doesn't directly or indirectly involve chocolate, of course.

**Useless fact of the day - More money is spent on Gardening than any other hobby**

For fox sake

I just spent the last hour typing a descriptive and informative account of recent proceedings. Only for the blog to crash as I was adding the last photo.

I hate, HATE, technology. What the hell was wrong with cave walls anyway?

As such, my beautifully created entry (I can lie about that as no-one will ever see it now anyway) is no more. And so, the following is a brief (the briefest) addendum of what came before.

That's barely even the correct use of the term, yet it's now so late that I don't give a rats ass. So, photo's eh, that'll be good?








This is Luca as a pirate. I can't remember why.








I ran the Edinburgh Marathon last weekend. Lucy wanted me to write an entry about it once I'd processed it mentally. But there's not much to say. I should've ran faster and more comfortably, but didn't. I should've followed a marathon training programme. I should've eaten more healthily. I shouldn't have drank so much. I should have been mentally tougher. Failed on all fronts. But I didn't quit, and I'll do it better next time.








But at least I still like running. Fin has the opposite emotion when it comes to me. Tries to eat or headbutt me. And I look a wally on top of a horse. But he's gentle with Carole, which is more important.

Did you know I wrote 3 paragraphs on Carole and horses in the original blog? Did I mention how much I hate technology?







I just liked this, and it's going up in my bathroom.








And here's today's big surprise. Luca on his new bike. Think he's pleased?








He wrote this while I was putting the bike together, which I think probably indicates the answer to the above is "yes"

Apparently that's music notes below the bird. I thought it was pooping too.

The bikes getting its inaugural outing tomorrow, as we'll be heading to he forest trails with Yoda in tow. The pup and I will run alongside him as he gets used to his "big boy" bike.

Hope he doesn't go too fast. My legs are still sore from this mornings run, completed while he was at football training. I tried a little sprint training for the first time, well, ever. Thought my legs were going to snap off with the shock. Particularly after months of preparing for a marathon by running only longer, slower distances my joints and muscles (which were never the keenest supporters of my decision to run in the first place) screamed their objections.

Anyway, did I mention how much I hate technology?

Scary story to send you to sleep - I begin tucking him into bed and he tells me, “Daddy check for monsters under my bed.” I look underneath for his amusement and see him, another him, under the bed, staring back at me quivering and whispering, “Daddy there’s somebody on my bed.”

Sore

The school holidays are upon us again, and so the game of "Pass The Luca" begins anew. I took a day off on Monday to look after him, and we filled our day with football, ten-pin bowling and a cinema visit. The latter being the least surprising activity (I feel my predilection for the cinema is becoming an actual addiction issue), we saw "Rio 2", which even for a kids film was sensationally poor. Luca, of course, thought it was wonderful. Naturally.

Somehow, however, this wasn't even the worst film I saw this week. On Wednesday Carole and I (no Luca to look after, remember) had a night out at the movies to watch historical epic "Noah". Hammier than the floor of a swinery slaughterhouse.

The previous evening was a little preferable however. I joined Carole at the farm after work with the intention of running home. However, while I was there my wife used the opportunity to hoist me atop Finnan for the first time. He's quite an energetic and excitable beast, despite my gangly limbs being a little on the large side for him. In spite of this, the most daft imagery came from the helmet I was lent for the session. A size or 6 too small it was. I have a photo, but it won't upload. I freaking love the internet.

I don't have many pictures today unfortunately. I have, however, found a couple of pictures it took of Carole at the start of the Garioch 5k race from a few weeks ago, as follows:-






Disappointingly, albeit predictably, despite her excellent time Carole hasn't run since the race. We enjoyed our little training runs in the lead up to the race though, so a little time jiggery pokery is needed and we'll get out for the odd session again.

Luca's new haircut has been a topic of conversation lately, and so here he is below, in a photo taken 20 minutes after the barber had lopped several kilo's of hair off the top of his head:-



He'd had long hair his entire life, so the chop was a big deal. He wanted it done though, and I think he looks great. His poor Mum was having palpitations at the thought of her baby's mane being sliced, which brought both sympathy and amusement to the table.




The above picture was taken earlier today, Luca with his (new-ish) buddy Lyle. They'd played football together earlier, during which both Dad's had to call an early end to the session which was becoming a little overly "tasty". They were both flying into tackles against one another and the possibility of broken bones was becoming a distinct possibility. A real surprise there, as Luca is invariably a rather "delicate" player. Does it make me a bad Dad to admit my admiration for this new found will to win?




Ah, this one now. The above photo not being my proudest moment as I slogged around a flat "easy" 10 mile race in Perth last Sunday. My finishing time wasn't the worst in the world but I've run this distance quicker before (on a hillier course) which led to disappointment. The picture here was taken only a couple of miles from the end, and I think the expression on my face speaks volumes of my disillusionment.

Coincidentally, Lucy had a race of similar distance this morning. Having just spoken to her it seems she had an equally disappointing time, and coincidentally similar to her little brother unexpectedly ran out of steam badly on the latter half. We've decided this was her unconscious attempting to support her little brother. Onwards and upwards though, we'll both knock it out the park next time.

With my first marathon only weeks away now, I shook off a few cobwebs this morning on a 17 mile run, starting just after 6am. The forecast rain gratifyingly never appeared and the sun even somehow found a way to burst through the clouds. A bit of Arcade Fire on my mp3 made it almost enjoyable, and well worth the exhaustion and badly bruised toes. Bruised toes which Luca has spent the rest of the day finding new and ever more unique ways of stepping on, causing ever more anguished cries from his Dad. And ever more widening grins from my undeniably evil son.

With a Carole prepared slow cooked stew now imminent and a small boy to carry upside down to bed I must now end this entry. Much more to report however, which I'll detail in another blog later this week.

**Useless fact of the day - All polar bears are left handed**

Found this saved in drafts - an entry Carole didn't finalise from 17 December 2008..........

Well that's all of my Christmas shopping done, delivered and dusted - but not all wrapped :-| - boo :-(. I've just got to plan my Christmas day menu - light lunch for 6 (including Luca) and a main Christmas Dinner for the 3 of us. I'm really not a natural in the kitchen so I'm glad that this year I'm getting to practise cooking without having guests - Gary and Luca are my gorgeous fluffy guinea pigs - complain if they dare!!!!!;-). To be honest Markies will have a big stake in the dinner!!! (Good old Markies :-)

This year is great as I've no idea what Gary's getting me and I've managed to keep my trap buttoned regarding his present - so we'll both have some nice surprises (hopefully!!!).

Luca and I went to Hoodles today - Hoodles is a kids play barn with a great soft play area, all indoors. The facilities are great and they do fancy coffees and tasty sandwiches, soups and paninis - so it's all good. Luca was really shy and clingy at first but once he got going he was fine - I think I'm going to start taking him to these kind of places more regularly ... see if I can get rid of this "shy" phase he seems to be going through.

My Wednesday's off aren't really "off" as such, because this is the day that Luca's not a nursery and I cook, clean and tidy up too whilst entertaining, feeding and cleaning a toddler (I don't find this easy - I really don't know how people cope with more than one at a time ..... Jo you are a goddess in my eyes!). One day hopefully we'll be able to afford to have Luca in nursery on Wednesdays then I can really have a proper day off with some 'me' time as well as all the cooking,cleaning and chores. He really does love his nursery so I don't feel guilty at all about him being there - infact, he rarely wants to leave the nursery when I come to pick him up in the evenings - so far I only have 2 victories over the nursery .. .1) he eats fruit at home (at least 2 portions per day) and ... 2) he sleeps for at least 2hrs after lunch :-)

Oh and Ian - for you to know my middle name Gary would have to marry me and I doubt that's going to happen as he's just not the marrying type :-) ... so you'll just have to keep guessing. Without going into too much detail ... my middle name has much to answer for ... infact I think it's the main reason why myself and Gary got back together again!!!

How long has this (not) been going on?

I won't prattle tonight. Straight to the business of (partial) storyboarding:-




Tenpin bowling. The celebratory stance was ever present. He beat me. And I was trying. To my shame.


Football training is back after the winter break. As is my thumb over the left side of the photo. I take photos like my mum.


In Dingwall, North of Inverness. Outside a Wimpy restaurant, about 20 years after the last one was spotted anywhere else in the UK. Dingwall, the ****hole that time forgot


Dad's birthday. Last time I got a look like this was when I handed in my Primary 7 report card



Better. At the Echt Tandoori for Dad's 65th. If only my flash had worked. An excellent night nonetheless


Except for my wife doing this


In Lincoln for Janes 50th. Val, Mike and Luca. One to be printed and framed, methinks


At the Cantonese restaurant for Janes surprise party. Yes, that's blue skies in the UK. Depressingly noteworthy


Jane and Carole together. Janes "distinctive" coat having been spotted and modelled by her little sister


Kat Slater


Cousins together as we left at night. Yes, there were tears


Outside the cinema today. We'd just seen the latest animated flick. It was, naturally, crap


Rather an archive image from Dyce Airport, as Kelly, Chris and Miller prepare to return to Oz. Miller appears greatly interested in proceedings


Luca and pals at the beach. Guess which one is "difficult" Ethan?


A nice distance shot of the boys playing at the shore


Luca on the train. As out of towners with a penchant for the city we travel a lot at weekends


On one of my long training runs. Yes, that's a horse and cart. How far had I run? At this moment I was thinking "Deliverance"


Pretzels are my favourite snack. Chain shop "Mr Pretzel" is one of my favourite places. Luca used to hate pretzels. He's changed his mind and loves them now. He currently eats three quarters of every pretzel I buy. I think I love him less.



At the cinema (yes, I live there). Can you spot Luca? He's developed a curious habit of touching the screen at the end of every movie. Why? Why do dog poo's no longer turn white? One of those questions you're not supposed to know the answer to, I suppose.

I should have titled today's blog entry "monosyllabic" shouldn't I?

**Useless fact of the day - White dog poop is the calcium left behind as the water evaporates, and the 'organic' components of the poop are consumed (in various ways) leaving the inorganic stuff behind. However, dogs eat less bone nowadays, and dog poop gets picked up rather than left by dogs owners now too, hence less white poop**

Cinema

We had a family trip to the cinema today. The skies discarded endless sleet and snow onto us in an act of pointless valour, vainly attempting to confine us to the central heated comfort of our home.

Our will to grossly overpay for cinema pick'n'mix succeeded however, and shortly afterwards our car arrived in Aberdeen, inelegantly depositing us onto the river-esque puddles of the city streets.

However, our (inevitable) late arrival caused us to miss our intended movie, and instead caused a split. Carole and Luca grew excited at the prospect of the soon-to-start "Hobbit 2", whereas I could think of many more pleasurable activities, among them sticking a garlic baguette up my nose or swapping my contact lenses for hot chillies.

Instead I alone visited a neighbouring screening of new Robert De Niro comedy "Grudge Match". I perhaps should have put asterisks around the word comedy. A godawful mess of a movie, with a tubby aged De Niro "amusedly" taking on Sylvester Stallone in a boxing match. It raised a question sadly asked too many times over the past decade - is De Niro as bad an actor in the 21st century as he was a great one in the 20th?

But I digress. In terms of physical exertion today has been rather in contrast to yesterday, where I completed the longest run of my life (from Inverurie to Aberdeen) - a total of 30 kilometres. Despite a longstanding ankle problem causing me to slow down more than I'd hoped, my basic fitness coped with the distance without too many issues. The back road route I'd chosen was hillier than I prefer, but our country roads up here are often picture postcard, such as the following image I took yesterday mid-run:-




The weather in this image admittedly looks a little grim, but in Scottish winter terms it's often far worse. Indeed, Carole accompanied me on the the first 5 kilometres of my run, during which the skies opened to such an extent it was akin to having buckets of water poured unceremoniously upon our noggins. Contrarily, however, the Weather Gods decided enough was enough literally as soon as Carole's leg was completed. Again, however, I was very proud of her, as despite the conditions she ran determinedly throughout the hilly route without nary a complaint. I really enjoyed her company too.

Young Luca has a little training imminent too, after we signed him up for the annual Garioch race event. His age group have a full kilometre to run, quite a distance for such little legs. A successful result for our boy will simply be to not finish last, as his awkward birthdate means he's in a slightly older category - ages 7 to 9. He'll be one of the smallest and youngest, so it'll be interesting to see how strongly he runs near the back of the pack.

Carole and I are entered in the event too, in the 5K and Half Marathon respectively. Disappointingly I won't see Carole finish, but I'll be there in spirit.

My wife is, of course, loving her new horse Fin. She hates Luca and I shortening his name as such that's I become almost a family game now. "That's not his full name" she'll grump as husband and son inwardly giggle. He's a great natural ride though, despite his differences to Harvey.

He has a nice nature too, although the headbutt I received from him a week or two back wasn't my favourite moment. It was my fault, I was leaning into an angle he couldn't see - but it was a teeth jolting reminder of the solidity and power of these beasts.

My latest fad is an experimentation with vegetarianism. Due primarily both to differing running diets (the only constant in my diet being the rubbish I consume) and having watched one too many (admittedly preachy pro-vegan) documentaries, I'm researching the benefits of of a non-meat diet. As I grow older the considerations and implications of eating meat prey ever greater on my mind resulting in the contemplation of what this would entail.

Carole, as a long term advocate of organic food, is being supportive and doubtless her interest has been piqued too. Where will this go? We will see.

Like every blog entry I tend to have a single regret as I near the end. Today it has been my lack of Luca related prose. To partially rectify such a failing I attempted to attach a video I took earlier to the blog. And failed.

It was of our "shy" boy dancing. I'll find a way to attach it next time. He'd be extremely indignant if he found out I was going to attach it. A parents roles are many and varied, but the instinct to embarrass is ever present.

**Useless fact of the day - A snail can sleep for 3 years**