God only knows how I manage to injure myself in the most peculiar ways, but this time it's my back that is causing me to stoop lower than the underbelly of a Tory MP.
I'm even unsure as to how it occurred. Most likely the main damage was caused during a game of "tuck and roll" with Luca, where we tuck ourselves into a giant ball and roll in whatever direction causes Luca to scream the loudest. "That's enough Daddy...........Do it again now!"
The cause is unimportant, the effect, however, is. By Tuesday the pain caused me to cancel my game of football, and I instead returned straight home from work to chill. However, I relaxed a little too long in the armchair, which resulted in an eventual realisation that I couldn't get myself up. "Help!" I squawked, as a completely unsympathetic Carole and Mum came through to help me edge up while I over-egged the "Ows", "Ooohs" and "Aaahs"
By Wednesday morning I couldn't even get out of bed. Eventually I surfaced however, before gingerly driving to work for a particularly late - 2 hours late! - start. Vacuously I failed to comprehend that a day that begins as such is unlikely to get better, and that same evening attended Aberdeen's last home game of the season. Which they lost. Of course.
At least the brief interlude between work and the game was entertaining. I collected Luca from nursery, tasked with the objective of feeding him and transporting him to Carole's gym before I hot-footed it to the game. Luca, of course, entertains when he's confused by a change in his routine. "Where we go Dad?" he enquired as we motored along the dual carriageway sharing a battered sausage and chips. "Mummy's Gym" I replied. "Ooooh" came the response, "We do star jumps?"
We arrived at the gym a little early, so decided to kill the time by visiting the neighbouring supermarket for some chocolate. Once in we rode the escalator to the top floor - Luca's insistence, he loves this - where he almost had me arrested.
As the escalator climbed, so did Luca, eventually leading him to the step below an innocently shopping lady. What did he do at this point? He lent in to have a rest - by putting his hand on her backside. I nearly died as her head swung around, desperately relieved as she laughed at the toddler using her buttocks as his support. "Hallo" he beamed up at her as I desperately searched for a hole to dive into.
He's been his usual jolly self tonight too. Carole is working till late tonight at the election polls so Luca and I had to fend for ourselves. I picked him up from nursery where he presented me with a picture he'd drawn. "What is it?" I enquired. "It's Daddy!" he shouted while pointing at the centre of the page, "See, there's only little hairs on the head"
He's in bed now, exhausted after another busy day - we had to race to the voting polls and shops after nursery, only arriving home at 7pm. "I stay here and sleep on Daddy's knee" he grinned at me as he drank his bedtime glass of milk. "Aye, right", came the response as my stomach grumbled like an earthquake, willing him to his bed so I could eat.
Of course, I can't end without a couple of pictures of Luca - both taken on Monday evening in Morrisons as he launched himself onto the kiddies ride ( a mini tractor) and partook in his favourite meal (Fish fingers, chips and beans - "You eat the beans Dad"):-
**Useless facts of the day - A portion of chip shop chips contains less fat than a prawn mayonnaise sandwich**
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