Saturday November 29th 2008

I've saved you all much confusion, as I originally started this blog in French, thinking it would be quite a funny and original way to post. Thankfully I deleted what I'd started after rather quickly coming to my senses and realising is was not only pointless, but perhaps a tad pretentious too! Instead you will have to put up with my witterings in English, although I am aware my "conversational" style of writing sometimes doesn't even read well in our native language!

This aside, I'd best mention the above photo's. Cute, aren't they? I took these this morning after Luca's morning walk. He was up very early this morn, and I think the brisk winter air removed the last vestige of his energy.

His early rise this morning wasn't gratefully received today. Carole and I were out last night at my works Christmas Party. It was at an Aberdeen hotel called the Copthorne, a slightly plush place I can't remember having ever previously visited. Thankfully it exceeded expectations, and the meal was tremendous. The drink flowed very nicely too, although due to this we almost didn't get to leave - Our managing director "appropriated" Caroles car keys in an attempt to get us to stay out later! It was good fun though, and was the first time Carole's met the people I work with. Thankfully they were all good enough to not tell Carole what an awful person I am to work with. That said, I am planning reprisals for Monday - Carole decided it would be amusing to tell everyone that I took her to see the Will Young concert on her birthday not for her benefit but because I'm a closet Will Young fanatic, and this resulted in a dedication being made with the DJ for a Will Young song to be played in my honour! The dance floor cleared and I was dragged up to dance to it.

It was humiliating, less so for the dancing (I'm really not a mover), but more so that my reputation as an obscure music afficionado has taken a beating and less observent people may now think I'm a musical sheep. Baaaaa!

Ramblings aside, we got home late (Carole sober due to driving duties and me a trifle tipsy) and we really needed the lie in today which didn't come to pass. Getting out of bed at the crack of dawn doesn't appeal much just now due to the weather either. It was below freezing today, and had actually reached minus 6 degrees last night also.

Today I went to the tip with the garden rubbish we've had sitting for a week (so my car will now smell for days....) before departing for Aberdeen to meet up with Dad and Ross to watch the Dons game. It was terrible! I then got home sharp to take Carole back into town to meet up with Jenny for her night out. However, with the female species genetically encoded inability to ever be ready on time, she hadn't even started getting ready when I got home. Consequently by the time I drove her through to Aberdeen, came home again and changed/fed/read to Luca it was almost 9pm. He was really grouchy, as was I as I can't get my tea until he's in bed (he just eats my tea you see!). As the old saying gos, I could have eaten a scabby horse!

Talking of Luca's eating habits, he is actually quite nice just now. Although he does demand to eat most of whatever you're eating (hence my decisions to not eat around him during his waking hours!), he's actually very generous with his own food. For instance, tonight he shared his hot cross bun with me. One bite for him, one for me, one for him, etc infinitum.

Apart from chocolate. He doesn't share chocolate. Under any circumstances.

**Useless fact of the day - Although chocolate used to an absolute no-no due to it's high sugar and fat content, scientists now agree that chocolate contains beneficial properties like antioxidants and chemicals to improve one's mood. Chocolate eaten in moderation is good for you, especially pure dark chocolate**

Friday 28th November 2008

Boa tarde. Yes, it's archive photo time again. I think it's also the last time we took a picture of Luca that wasn't blurry. I also think it was the last time Carole posed too!

I'm still in the office just now, this is just a quick update before I head ome to get ready for my works Chrimbo night out tonight. I was, as I imagine you all were, enjoying ignoring dad's requests for song titles relating to Scottish towns, but as he's not giving up I feel we should reward his tenacity and respond!

For Scottish towns I struggled, but there is one - "Song For Aberdeen" by Mando Diao. London was really easy. Off the top of my head there's "Down To London" by Joe Jackson, "First Night Back In London" by The Clash, "Get Outta London" by Aztec Camera. The only really recent one I know though is "Hello London" by Scarling.

Carole's driving us down tonight as she's taken a downturn with her bug again. She's thinking of cancelling her night out on Saturday too because of it - a meal is OK, but drinking isn't a good idea. I'm really not up for tonight myself - it's been a long, long week and I'd really rather slump in a bath tonight.

**Useless fact of the day - During the third year of life, toddlers tend to gain about 4 pounds (1,800 grams) in weight and grow about 2 to 3 inches (5 to 8 centimeters) in height**

Tuesday 25th November 2008

Buona Sera. I'm just sitting down now in front of the server for my notoriously irregular evening update. I had intended to blog earlier but I've been delayed, mainly due to work issues and my on-call mobile buzzing like an angry bee. Due to an urgent part required for an offshore rig, I've had to have one flown in urgently from Italy. So urgent in fact that I had to appropriate the services of an Italian - of whom before today I'd never spoken to in my life - and pay him to get on the aircraft in Milan with the part. Thankfully he's proven reliable and turned up at 9.45pm this evening on schedule. My driver (who now hates me after I informed him earlier that he was having to pick up a strange Italian at 10pm tonight, before starting his morning shift at 0430 in the morning) now has man and package on board so I can relax. I'll meet Patrizio tomorrow morning before I put him back on his flight to Milan (via Heathrow) and give my thanks - this was a very big deal today.

I hope you've enjoyed the images provided above. The first is of Luca, as per his norm during their visit, bullying his poor Grandma. The second (the video) is mainly for those who don't see Luca much (Kelly, Lucy and families....). It's less about the image - which is poor I accept - and more about the audio. He's become very aware of who people are for quite some time, but it's only recently he's been able to say his name in relation to himself. It doesn't sound much like Luca yet but he's trying!

I'm surprised Kelly didn't enjoy "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" - I thought it'd be right up her street. Then again, I am the man who once bought her a foot spa as a Christmas present and was genuinely shocked when her levels of gratitude were less than overwhelming. As most of you would testify, if you are being polite you'd describe my choice of Christmas/birthday gifts as "original" or "different". More often the reaction to a gift from me is a look of general, and confused, disgust. I do try though. Here you go dad, there's another list for you to do - the worst presents ever received.

Manchester Utd were on TV tonight, but I had to miss it as the second part od "Survivor" was on. Did anyone pay attention to my weekend blog and watch it? It was terrific again.

What's on for the rest of this week? Other than work obviously I'm planning to hit the gym tomorrow, before settling down in front of the multitude of live games on TV. On Thursday we - may - go to the Salsa dancing for the first time. All dependant on how Carole's bugs clearing up. On Friday we have my works Christmas night out (yes I know it's not even December!), while on Saturday dad, Ross and I are going to Pittodrie to watch Aberdeen attempt to play football. This'll be followed up on Saturday night by a quiet night for Luca and I while Carole go's out drinking and smoking (terrible habit, why would anyone do that?.....) with Jenny, the partner of one of my oldest friends. Carole get's on well with quite a few of my friends partners, which is good to see - as everyone knows, socialising with partners friends partners can sometimes be awkward. On Sunday Luca will soothe Carole's hangover with his singing (which is improving in clearness of vocabulary, if not yet in tune) while we chill out in front of "Super Sunday"- the Manchester derby (Utd V City) followed by the London derby (Arsenal V Chelsea) - bliss!

**Useless fact of the day - Over one fifth of the worlds wine supply is produced in Italy**

Monday 24th November 2008

Back at work today after my interrupted week off - as you know I was due to be off all week but due to circumstances I came in over a few days. Really don't want to do that again, it really feels like I wasn't off at all. As I'm back in the office and haven't posted any new pictures for a few days shame on me) I hope you enjoy another of my archive photo's instead.

In response to dad's blog, either option is okay with us - we're flexible. Hopefully everyone else can confirm shortly though, as we need to start booking kennels for Isis and time off work for us.

After publishing my post last night, Carole and I settled down to watch the new drama on BBC1 "Survivors", which was about 90% of the earths poulation being wiped out by a flu bug. Did anyone else watch it? Pretty gripping stuff, the second part is on Tuesday if you're keen.

My email has just gone into overdrive, so I'm signing off - I'll publish a more descriptive post later tonight.

**Useless fact of the day - Carole is still ill (!), and the following are the facts in how to combat bugs:- Take plenty of rest and drink a lot of liquids, and avoid using alcohol and tobacco is usually the best remedy. Also, you can take medications to relieve the symptoms of influenza (but never give aspirin to children or teenagers who have influenza-like symptoms, particularly fever). The symptomatic treatment of colds has been aimed at relieving the most disturbing symptoms of the illness, and hundreds of different over-the-counter preparations are available**

Sunday 23rd Novemeber 2008

Did you think I'd died? Although only 2 days have passed since my last update, in "garycaroleluca" blog world that is almost a lifetime.

What has transpired since I last posted? Carole and I went to Glasgow to see Will Young in concert. I have to point out that had I not known then I genuinely wouldn't have been able to tell he was a gay man.

Those of you au fait with my peculiarly sarcastic sense of humour will be aware that the aforementioned statement is a lie. That was, without a doubt, the gayest thing I've ever witnessed. I hadn't previously considered him to be a camp performer but from the start where he actually skipped onto the stage, through to grinding his crotch in his keyboardists face, it was like a mini mardi gras.

I've been to worse gigss however, and the important thing was that Carole had fun. Admittedly most of the fun she had was laughing at how drunk the couple in front of us were, but there you go!

Before the concert commenced we went to a chinese restaurant on Sauchiehall Street. It was the only type of food Carole wanted to eat due to her cold - she needed something strong so she could taste it! We got a really nice table and the food was decent. Typical Chinese though, an hour later I was starving again!

After the gig we went straight back to the hotel - no boozy night in Glasgow unfortunately. Caroles bug made sure of that!

On Saturday we considered going to Firhill to watch Partick play Livingston before coming home. I say we, but I mean I. Carole's crumpled face when I brought it up suggested that this plan may not come to fruition! As such we came straight back up, promising, as we drove past, that we will take Luca down to Blairgowrie Safarai Park soon. He'll love it.

We arrived home to find Gramps and Grandma playing with Luca. Everything seemed sedate so I guess there weren't too many problems while we were away. None that we're lead to think anyway.... Carole was beat from the day away so she crashed out while I took Luca out (after watching some of South Africa's heavy win over England with Tom - he had a huge grin on his face throughout that match!) for a short while. We popped down to buy postcards, return a DVD and go to thee library. For the very first time I let him run free in the library. I usually hold him in my arms or keep him in the buggy. However, we were the only ones there so I let him down to explore. He loved it! He ran up and down a ramp most of time, only stopping during periods where he decided to choose my books for me. I have to say his taste hasn't developed yet!

On Saturday night Liz cooked us a roast dinner. It was delicious. Tom almost brought his back up afterwards however - "Bear Gryll's" was on TV, and it showed some of the nastiest things he's had to eat in the wild, such as camel fat and snake. The worst, however, was when he opened the stomach of a goat in order to sqeeze it's partly digested food for the liquid within. Uuurgh! Tom actually left the room at this point!!

Liz and Tom left sharp this morning to head back to Lincoln, although we were a little trepidacious - it had snowed overnight again and there was a good few inches lying, the roads were really trecherous. Thankfully Liz called at teatime to let us know they got home safely. Luca has been looking for them all day, he's loved having them around.

Carole and I have taken it easy today, partly due to Caroles illness but mainly due to the weather. Travelling far today was not going to be a good idea. Instead I went to the gym before taking Luca to the supermarket, while Carole took Isis out for a quick hike. She seems reasonably bright today so hopefully she'll be fit for tomorrow.

**Useless fact of the day - There were no photo's on todays blog due to problems with our internet connections today**

Friday 21st November 2008

I'm getting more proficient at this photo malarkey amn't I? Here's a couple more for you, firstly of Luca showing us his magic tricks and secondly of the infamous birthday cake. There's still some left in the fridge, so the first one to claim it get's it Fedexed out to them! What a temptation!

I write this merely 20 minutes before we're due to depart for Glasgow. The house is strangely quiet with Carole in the bath and Tom, Liz and Luca at the supermarket. As expected we've had to postpone the day at the races and suffice with the gig tonight. I'll take some photo's of reality televisions most famous product tonight (copious amounts of jack daniels notwithstanding). Hopefully Carole will enjoy it, though with the amount of drugs (legal.....) we'll be loading into her before we go she may not remember too much....

Hopefully Tom and Liz will enjoy having the house, and Luca, to themselves tonight. It's great having them up, but I wish they'd treat the place more like home - mi casa es su casa is particularly apt in this instance. Both have been incredibly respectful of our home, never relaxing, and always cooking, dishes, gardening, etc, etc. We're happy to have them both here, and they're family so there's no need to be so polite - it's OK to flick through the TV channels and fart if you want to!

We'll be back in Inverurie tomorrow afternoon, which will be perfect timing for a cancer event at Inverurie town hall. Chesney and Sophie from Coronation Street will be there. For Inverurie this is particularly A list!!

Finally, winter has arrived - we've got snowstorms outside today!

**Useless fact of the day - Coronation Street was sponsored by chocolate giants Cadbury's between 1996 and 2006. It was the biggest sponsorship deal in UK television history, and resulted in Cadbury's paying Corrie £100,000,000.00 across the course of the contract**

Thursday 20th November

Did you enjoy the multitude of photo's I posted yesterday? Good, because there are none today! I'm back to work so text gibberish is the best you'll get!

It's strange being back to work today after having been off yesterday, my working flow is hugely out of kilter! And having spent most of the day indoor yesterday hasn't helped increase my adrenalin levels! As previously stated, Carole wasn't any better and she snotted her way through her birthday. Thankfully she was still eating, so at least we could keep her amused with our culinery concoctions - although Liz's were probably superior! She cooked the main course at dinner, while I baked a birthday cake. I'll post a photo of this on the blog tomorrow. Yes, I took a picture of it! It was a proper two layered cream and strawberry birthday cake! Unfortunately, I couldn't argue with Tom's assessment that we needed a chainsaw to cut slices - I was tooth breakingly hard! I tried....

At present it looks as if our day away tomorrow will be disrupted - unless Carole makes a huge recovery. I'd say it's 95% certain we won't be going to Kelso, although there's still a chance of making the gig in Glasgow. We'll see!

Finally, although I briefly mentioned names yesterday, it was still early. In the end Carole received a massive number of cards, flowers and gifts so a big thank you to everybody. Mum, Dad, Ross, Kelly, Craig, Lucy, Scott, Cade, Braeden, Val, Mike, Liz, Tom, Jane, Nick, Ben, Max. I would thank all her friends too, but I'll never remember all their names - and since they don't read the blog anyway I won't even try! Importantly though, I'm really grateful you all remembered and she was really chuffed. She even cried with happiness. At least I think so, that may just have been a little bit of stray snot.

**Useless fact of the day - Will Young was once rumoured to have had a dalliance with Scotland football star James McFadden**

Wednesday 19th November 2008

Today is Carole's 40th, and it's started terribly. That bug that's been going around? Carole's come down full force and as such we won't be going anywhere or doing anything to celebrate her birthday today! Rotten timing, and we now need to keep our fingers crossed that she's recovered for our little trip on Friday.

However, the inactivity has presented me with both the time and opportunity to dig out some old photo's of Carole. There were a few I did consider posting, but after carefully considering the fact that I am quite attached to my genitals I felt the best decision was to exclude them. Th one's I've posted are my "safe" options, and I'm sure she won't be too upset with the choices. The top one is gorgeous, the second is fun (seeing her with her girls) while the third is, well, I'm really not sure. Any opinions? Perchance could this have been taken in the 80's? I think she may have been on her way to a Kajagoogoo gig.....

So far we've given Carole her presents and cards (though one of my presents to her hasn't yet arrived...ooops....), and her pal Annie's been round to see her too. I think we've got a couple more people coming round at some juncture today to wish birthday wishes. And with all activities on hold now due to the bug it now doesn't matter how long they stay!

Hopefully she's fallen asleep again on the couch, as we have a rare moment of peace - Liz and Tom have gone out for a long walk with Luca. As much as she loves him, I think an hour without the noise is just what the doctor ordered! And speaking of the wee man....

These were taken this morning. He was a bit hungry and insisted on standing on the worktop in order to access the upper cupboards food stores! And talking of food, Tom had his first experience of a traditional aberdeen buttery this morning. "It's alright" was the rather disappointing assessment!

Finally, I've been running to the door to meet couriers this morning to receive gifts for Carole from mum, dad, Lucy, Scott, Cade and Braeden - many thanks to all, she now has a huge smile across her (snot covered) face!

**Useless fact of the day - The year Carole was born, 1968, spawned the following:-

"Mrs Robinson" by Simon and Garfunkel (song)

"Planet Of The Apes" (movie)

While popular TV programmes included Bonanza and The Beverley Hillbillies**

Tuesday 18th November 2008

As you may be able to guess by the vintage of the photo's, these aren't the most up to date shot's we have! Unfortunately I'm back to work today (weird week this week!) so I don't have access to the camera. As such I've had to dig deep into my archive again to provide something for you to look at (I've got some really early pictures of Luca on Myspace)! Can you beleieve he was ever that small? The second photo was taken at the hospital, he was about a day old at this point. The first photo I'm finding harder to date precisely. Any idea's? The closest answer get's a car boot full of parma violets.


Liz and Tom arrive with us today - they'll be with us until Saturday. As long as they arrive up before I get home from work I've been promised a home cooked meal. We'll see! I've a few things planned for Carole while they're up, mainly horse racing in Kelso and a concert in Glasgow. Sometimes it's very beneficial to have "in-house" babysitters! I will make sure Liz get's plenty of time with her daughter too though...


Three final points, starting with the least important. Did anyone watch "I'm a Celeb" last night? Yes, it is brain-off TV, but I caught the bit where the bloke from Eatenders (and some other girl of whom I had no knowlege of) were being forced to eat various nasties, including huge grubs, scorpions, kangaroo balls and crocodile penis. Unbelievably revolting, but consequently impossible to remove your eyes from the screen. Also, I'm over half way through the film "The Love Guru" and have decided to give up. A less funny comedy I've not seen in many a year, avoid this one at all costs. Most importantly however, congratulations to Kelly for completing her marathon. I can't believe she kept that quiet! What an achievement, well done, we're all very proud of you.

Oops, one or two last things! Yes, I will be posting embarrassing old photo's of Carole on her birthday, and yes mum, Luca does seem to like Uncle Ross much more these days. He's like him even better if he stopped smoking though. It's just horrible, I can't understand why anyone would ever want to partake in such a filthy habit.....


**Useless fact of the day - 2 hours, 4 minutes and 26 seconds is the world record time for completing a marathon. So just run a little faster next time Kelly!**

Sunday 16th November 2008

Another short entry to end the weekend. It's Sunday evening, and just before I sat down to commence with this text update I realised that I hadn't taken any pictures of Luca today. Consequently you are having to do with the two offending images above, taken merely minutes ago as he slept in his cot. And no, he didn't wake!

My neglecting to take pictures earlier in the day (like duurghh) relays my general mental incompetence today. I'm still down with this bug, though thankfully I haven't deteriorated further. And more importantly neither has Luca. As a safeguard, however, we've stayed in all day today to ensure we're fighting fit for the upcoming week - which promises to be a busy time. Obviously though, as a consequence, it's been deadly dull too!

Carole and I were due to do the salsa class for the first time tonight, so I write this with a pang of guilt. Next week Carole, hell or high water! I do think it was the right thing to do though, due to what's coming up....

On another note, Carole seems to have recovered quite well today to her "exertions" of yesterday. It was her lunch date with the gym girls yesterday and she had a glass of wine too many. Luca and I were preparing his dinner around 5pm-ish yesterday when the doorbell went. We opened the door to be caught off guard by the site of Carole - literally - falling through it. She'd got a lift home, and they must have had to shovel her into the car. The drunkest I've ever seen her? Very possibly. Luca didn't seem to notice as she crashed out within a short period of arriving in the house!

Typing that reminded me of Luca's reaction to the doorbell ringing. It's not a noise he's used too (we see most people coming into the street so are normally able to greet them in the driveway) and he panicked. He screamed in fright and wrapped himself round my leg. Even after I untangled him from my knee and put him in my arms he still shook like Elvis Presley itching like a man on a fuzzy tree. Poor mite, he was a little mixed up but was feelin' fine.

I was supposed to be off work this week, but due to a number of things (mainly one colleague off long term sick and another having quit) I've agreed to come in 2 or 3 days this week. I'm not 100% decided on when yet, but most likely it'll be for periods of Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. Don't be cruel, Carole may tell me for letting work affect our lives, but she'd also have to acknowledge that I'm not the devil in disguise and that I won't surrender to working any unexpected hours after this. And I won't let work effect the important ones, and if I do I'll sleep in our pound with Isis like a mangy hound dog.

My plan for after I turn the PC off? Have a coffee with Carole and retire to bed early to watch a little of a movie I downloaded - "The Love Guru", starring Mike Myers. I loved the "Austin Powers" films, but I also know this flick got rotten reviews so I'm really not sure where my expectations lie! Tomorrow I'll be up early with Carole and Chubby McChubs and will likely roll into work afterwards - I'll see. Strewth, I sound like dad (with his long lunches and early finishes)! I can only do these "casual" hours because I'm doing my company a favour, dad can do this when he likes! See, there are advantages to getting older! Speaking of whom, apologies for being so brief on the phone earlier, the old head was a little "wooly"! Time permitting I may pop through for the radio at tea time tomorrow - with the little 'un in tow obviously!

**Useless fact of the day - The recent film "How To Lose Friends And Alienate People" was originally a (mainly) autobiographical novel written by Toby Young. Having yesterday read an interview with him the reverse is surely true - due to him having (many times) adversely affected the literary career of Julie Burchill (spit, boo, hiss, appalling egotistical "writer", a woman who in my younger years almost put me off reading broadsheets entirely due to her indistinguishable "ability") he must surely be regarded as a hero**

Saturday November 15th 2008

Not my favourite time to be writing a blog, but I will as a demonstartion of my commitment to this process! Lucy take note ;) I'm down with a bug just now, and it's starting to concern me. I'm going steadily downhill each day, and it seems almost identical to one of my work colleagues - who's deteriorated to the point that their head and facial features now look like a deformed watermelon and is confined to home due to the fact it's contagious! Me looking like like a watermelon is fine (not too much change from the norm) but Luca's becoming ill too. I really hope it's an un-connected coincidence.

Carole's out to meet her old gym pals for their bi-monthly lunches, so it's just shorty and I today. I've just put him down for his afternoon nap, and will follow him myself as soon as I hit that "publish" button. Despite being a little ill (temperatures, snots, coughs) he still seems quite chirpy - as demonstrated by the photo's above. He doesn't let me do the hoovering these days (perhaps he's a perfectionist). He grabbed hold of the hoover just as I started and pushed me out the way! Looks promising, perhaps he can take over the washing up soon too? The second photo was taken when he charged me for deigning to try to watch 10 seconds of "Football Focus" on TV rather than continue our singing game. His present favourite is Amy Winehouse. There's a lot of "no's" in her lyrics you see.....

**Useless fact of the day - There's a new language which is now accepted across many quarters - Friesian, a language related to Dutch spoken in the province of Frisland**

Thursday 13th November 2008 -PART 2

As promised - don't say I'm not good to you - here's some pictures of mini mr muscle proving, yet again, that he has little further need for his parents. He's determined to do everything himself, and gets frustrated on the few occasions where he needs mum and dad to help. This wee one will be pretty self sufficient very early, and for the life of me I can't decide whether that's a good or bad thing.

You may have noticed that the hairbrush in the first photo - ignoring the obvious joke that it's clearly not mine - is sitting close to hand. Luca normally brushes his hair after brushing his teeth too, but of course with the camera being present he, rather predictably, consciously avoided doing anything that may be regarded as cute.......

My cold's not subsiding yet, which is causing consternation in our house. Carole's not fussed, it gets her off the hook of having to kiss me (!), but Luca just doesn't understand why dad hasn't kissed him at all today. He looked confused and perhaps even a little upset when I pulled my head back tonight as he tried to kiss me goodnight. I don't want him catching this bug, but I also don't want him thinking I'm rejecting him too.

As I typed that I heard Luca in bed coughing - oh no.......

Nice to see dad's lists are back. How about the greatest movie quotes ever:-

"You lookin at me?" - Robert De Niro, Taxi Driver

"I'm gonna punch you in the ovary, that's what I'm gonna do. A straight shot. Right to the babymaker" - Will Ferrell, Anchorman

"I've got a bad feeling about this" - Harrison Ford, Star Wars

"How'd you like them apples?" - Matt Damon, Good Will Hunting

"Get your hands off me you damned dirty apes" - Charlton Heston, Planet Of The Apes

**Useless fact of the day 2 - Harrison Ford repeated his famous line from Star Wars ("'ve got a bad feeling about this") for the first time in the recent Indiana Janes revival movie. The movies were made almost 30 years apart**

Thursday 13th November 2008

Are you getting bored of the football match analyses I'm providing? Shame, cause here's another! Tottenham V Liverpool was the big game last night, with Spurs winning 4 - 2. Tremendous entertainment yet again, although Spurs left back (Gareth Bale, google him, looks a little effeminate) is surely the worst left back I've seen thus far this season.


Apologies, moving onto more pressing issues - the holiday. The dates discussed will be fine, as previously advised I was just trying to keep as large a gap as possible between Luca's appointment and the holiday, and the distance between will now certainly suffice.


I've got a new birthday present on route at present. No, I haven't turned 34 earlier than expected (I'll still expect many thoughtful cards and "Forbidden Planet" vouchers next July!), this is merely a replacement to the digital radio dad got me. As previously advised, it died after a couple of weeks (perhaps Luca's peanut butter encrusted fingers didn't help) and was returned for repair. Unfortunately, they couldn't repair it and nor could they replace it - they've now stopped making them! As such, dad got a refund and told me to pick a new one. So I've picked one which is designed to look like a "Marshalls" amp - if you're a movie buff you'll recognise this from the classic 80's film "Spinal Tap". And yes, it has a volume knob which gos up to 11!!


I've caught a bad cold today, so every woman I speak to on the phone at work today seems to be hanging on the phone longer than normal - apparently I've got that "sexy" croaky voice thing today. If only the reality was even close.... Carole is likely of a different opinion as she was kept awake most of the night by snores which sounded like a family of pigs at mealtime.


Still, I'll hopefully be better by the weekend, and ready for a weeks holiday. Yes, another week off! I get a decent amount of holidays per year, and kind of forgot to take many earlier on. It's great, I could handle this "2 weeks on, 1 week off" thing all year round.


Have I mentioned it's Caroles birthday next week?


Apologies for the lack of Luca photo's as promised, due to the cold I have I crashed out last night as soon as the football ended - hopefully I'll post them tonight. If I stay awake long enough.


**Useless fact of the day - it's not possible to catch a cold by standing in the cold. No matter how cold it is and how long you stand there. Colds are actually bugs, and you're a thousand percent more likely to catch a cold in a warm office than in the North Pole**

Wednesday November 12th 2008

Great moment during the football match between Arsenal and Wigan last night. Arsenal had a 16 year old making his debut, and he made such an impression that he was named man of the match. The problem there was that the sponsors give the man of the match a bottle of champagne - and he was too young to accept it!


I've got some more pictures of Luca, and I'll post them tonight. They're demonstrating his tooth brushing technique. Still a little raw, but he's getting better. We're grateful of the improvement as he rarely lets us help now!


Carole and I also watched her favourite movie of all time last night on ITV2 - "Shaun Of The Dead". I've seen it before too and I have to agree with her on this one. It's a terrific movie. Gut burstingly funny.


Luca's got himself a date. The parents of his best friend from nursery (Harry) sent us a letter asking for a playdate. Great idea, especially as we don't socialise Luca with kids of his age much. It should be fun, as long as he's got over his bullying phase! I'd hate to have to post a photo of the wee man punching his friend in the face and spoil your illusions of him being a delicate treasure.....


One week today is Carole's 21st. Well, within a few years of that anyway....


**Useless fact of the day - The worst ideas for a birthday present for Carole would be:-
1. Shaving cream
2. Deodorant
3. Vacuum cleaner
4. Pay for a face lift
5. Pay for liposuction (if not previously requested)
6. Clothes that are 2 sizes larger than what she wears
7. Clothes that are 2 sizes smaller than what she wears with a little note that says "for when you're smaller"
8. Dinner at YOUR favorite fast food place
9. Condoms
10. A paid subscription to Match.com
11. A paid subscription to Playboy
12. A book titled "Cooking for Dummies"
13. A book titled "Cleaning for Dummies"
14. Any book with the word Dummies in it
15. Laundry detergent
16. A shirt that says "I don't have ADD...Oh look! A bunny!"
17. A Barbie doll
18. An elementary math learning program
19. A book on self improvement for how to be a better girlfriend
20. "How to be a Good Wife"
21. Lawnmower
22. A drill press
23. A gift card to Hooters
24. A wonderful night out on the town with nothing but you talking about yourself and eating your food like a pig and your food might run away from you if you don't eat it fast enough.
25. A toothbrush and toothpaste
26. A trip in your new plane.......and it's your first time flying.
27. A carton of cigarettes and tell her "start this, you're too stressed out"
28. A surprise birthday party with all her ex's invited.
29. A surprise birthday party with only your friends invited over to watch a sport she hates.
30. Two tickets to a sports event that she detests.
31. A day playing golf and you say "You need to learn something other than sitting on the couch" 32. You give her a card and say "this is all I can afford cause you eat so much"
33. Weight watchers
Please ask me if you are buying her a present!!!!!!**

Tuesday 11th November 2008

Great morning so far. Luca displayed his obnoxious side this morning, culminating in an act of sheer petulence - he threw his plate of toast onto the laminate flooring, in a clear attempt to smash it. He got smacked hands for this and put into his bedroom until his tantrum ceased. He was still in "mid - paddy" mode even as I left the house for work!


Things didn't get much better thereafter. It took quarter of an hour just to get out of Inverurie due to traffic and I only screamed up outside work bang on half eight.. Frustrating is not the word!


Last night was slightly disppointing as there was no live football on Sky Sports for once! Well, apart from Irish League but even I'm not that desperate! There's big games on tonight and tomorrow so my goggle eyes will make an appearance again!


It may be likely going forward that I don't get the chance to see as much football on TV - I've agreed to take Carole to Salsa dancing classes! I'll let you know what it's like, but it's not my usual thing! Carole's really keen though so we will see..... The first class is on Sunday at 6pm so mum, if you're reading, would you be available to play with Luca for a couple of hours?


Lastly, I'm not surprised Kelly didn't enjoy the Bond film. The reviews couldn't have been clearer had there been warning lights flashing across them. The most sickening thing in my eyes was the commerial nature of the film, product placement is everywhere throughout, and this excludes all the products the film (and Daniel Craig - guess he has no qualms about losing his artistic integrity) has been promoting through TV, magazines, etc. Surely this dead dog of a series should now be laid to rest? Speaking of which, I'm presently half way through the latest Indiana Jones movie, which I'm inexplicably enjoying. I'd thought this latest movie (due mainly to the fact that Harrison Ford is now about 142 years old) was a bridge too far, but it's the most exciting one I've seen. Remembre I've not finished the movie yet so the ending will likely spoil it all...


**Useless fact of the day - Movies which have salsa dancing scenes include:- Miami Vice (2005), Take The Lead, Along Came Polly, Collateral, Dance with Me, Dirty Dancing - Havanna Nights, Wedding Crashers**

Monday 10th November 2008

This is becoming a recurring theme on my blogs, but please ignore the lack of professionalism in the photo's. My excuse this time is that we'd forgotten the camera so Carole took these with her mobile phone. With this being the case can we accept that they are actually rather good considering the equipment utilised?

They were taken yesterday in the Kirkhill Forest, which is a huge forest situated mid way between Inverurie and Aberdeen. We took Luca (and Isis) for a walk there in the morning to burn off his breakfast. We even left his buggy at home and he walked the whole way - he's a fit wee boy! He had a blast!

Other than that it was a relatively quiet weekend, with football and eating taking up the majority of time! We've already decided we need to be more active from here on in! The football, however, was great. This was my first weekend of Sky Sports and the Arsenal - Man Utd game in particular was tremendous entertainment. Although the final result was disappointing!

**Useless fact of the day - The longest walk in Kirkhill Forest is almost 7 miles long, one of the longest single track walks in the North East. No, we didn't do this walk!!**

Friday 7th November 2008

I got a really nice surprise when I got home last night - as a thank you from her and Luca for quitting smoking Carole had bought me a subscription to Sky Sports! The sun seemed to shine from behind the clouds as I turned it on......I may not leave the house often now, and we even start with a belting game on Saturday, Arsenal V Manchester Utd, come on!!


The timing works out well for Carole's mum and Tom coming up the week after next. I doubt Tom will want to brave the icy North Eastern weather too often, so the Sports channel (with his cricket and rugby) should recompense being away from home for so long!


Although Luca pretty much already fills that role! Speaking of whom, he threw himself off his changing table into my arms yesterday (akin to a short and podgy Superman) and as I caught him my back twaeked slightly - either I'm getting old or he's getting heavy. Most likely both......He's almost two and a half stone now, where's my tiny baby son gone?


Although completely unrelated to anything, I have to repeat a quote I heard on the radio this morning. The presenters were talking about the Arsenal (football) defender Mikael Silvestre and were discussing how a mans head can simultaneously look like a fish and a potato. Very cruel, but see the photo below and see what you think.....





**Useless fact of the day - When a woman yawns she covers her mouth with the palm of her hand, not with a fist as men do. **

Thursday 6th November 2008

I need advice from those of you who are more computer literate than I. Though I suppose as most amoeba's have more knowledge this shouldn't exclude too many of you..... I've scanned the photo of Carole and I onto my PC as a PDF file. However, this blog site won't upload it so I'll need it in a different format. Suggestions?

As this, like much more in life than I'm comfortable with, is too advanced for me there will be no new photograph's on today's blog. Sorry. Will an old one suffice?

Just one of my favourites from quite a while ago, I'd guess about 20 months ago. This was before we even moved to Inverurie. I think this was probably one of the first times he even registered the fact he had a dad!

On a different matter, I've almost finished watching "Stranger Than Fiction", which was almost great but lacked the resonant punch required to shift it from decent to great movie territory - a real wasted chance there. I'd like to see "Wanted" now, the one starring Angelina Jolie and James McAvoy. I've been reading the graphic novel it's based on and it's evil! I'm guessing the film will be a much more homogenised version!

Enjoying mum's blog, but wondering why she's watching the X Files now, over a decade after they were first shown on TV? I know what happens next but I won't spoil it for you! Well, I won't as long as you agree to babysit Luca one night? "Saw 5" is out in the cinema's and I want to drag Carole along. There's not too many revolting horror's left we haven't seen, we may be a bad influence on one another!

**Useless fact of the day - A study by researchers Kristen Harrison, University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, and Joanne Cantor, University of Wisconsin, Madison, shows that long-term effects of horror movies can linger even into adulthood. They found that 90% of the participants (more than 150 college students at Michigan and Wisconsin) reported a media fright reaction from childhood or adolescence. Moreover, about 26% still experience a "residual anxiety"**

Wednesday November 5th 2008

I will continue to fly the flag for Stewart blogs, even though all others have fallen I will rise and fly the flag.....

And mum too, apologies! A disappointing effort lately from Kelly and Lucy, and even Dad - being abroad is no excuse! The most important news today doesn't involve Luca strangely but work. Firstly my colleague (there's 2 of us to do the same role) has quit, so there may be a slight incremental increase to my workload. Also, it looks like there's a couple of trips in the pipeline, most notably to Cambodia next year! It'll be around April, and will involve 4-5 days away. Nothing exciting, it's to do with a worldwide group we're involved with and one of us has to show face - and it's going to be me. I may have to start reading the book Kelly got me for Christmas....

I came home last night with a big box of food - banana's, lettuce, tomatoes, apples, eggs, etc. We deal with BP's offshore rigs, and a couple of pallets of food had missed the chopper so as it would have been thrown away anyway I filled a box with as much as I could! However, I've eaten too many eggs now. Always the same when something is free!

Big game on TV tonight, Celtic V Manchester United. The first game was on a week or two ago, but this one is only on Sky rather than "cheapy civvy TV" so I may need to find a bar. Football and beer, godamnit life is hard. I will make a point of seeing Luca before the game starts, though I hope he's in a better mood than yesterday. His new favourite word is "no" and his usage of this increases daily......

Finally, with reference to mum's blog - no-one is monitoring us!

**Useless fact of the day - Based on all serious UFO groups, it is claimed that beings from other planets have been living among us since 1968 and monitor us for reasons unknown**

Monday 3rd November 2008

My first day back to work was as much fun today as you would expect - struggling to get out of bed in the morning, battling through horrendous traffic, and finding out that very little of the work you left others to complete last week were even started!


OK, breathe.......


Still, it was nice to come home tonight to be faced with Luca slamming the front door shut in my face!





What a charmer eh? See the damage to my nose above - hope it repairs as well as Luca's face has been. I've seen a slight difference already in his skin over the last few days, so fingers crossed things progress forward in this manner. I'll take another photo tomorrow to show the contrast between now and then.
As I type I'm listening to a stand up gig by an American comedian I discovered last week - Daniel Tosh. Have a search for him, alongside Ray Romano it's the funniest stand up show I've heard this year.
Before I sign off (although no rush as Carole's transfixed to "Spooks" on TV so it's probably best I stay quiet in my cubby hole till it's finished or else I may enrage the fire breathing dragon who will rain her fury upon the earth.....Or she may just ask me to do the dishes) I'd best make mention of next years proposed holiday. Would anyone mind delaying it about a week or so? We're a little worried about the contiguousness of the holiday and Luca's next laser appointment in late February. Although enough time should elapse between the two for there to be no problem, we'd obviously rather keep the two as far apart as possible. The doctors prefer we keep Luca away from sun for as long after the surgery as possible to minimise the chances of scarring.
And finally before I go, just a reminder that we are now just over two weeks away from Caroles birthday - her 40th. I know, I thought it was her 30th too but there you go. I thought it best to point out now to save any unnecessary violence, I think cards remarking on the fact that this is indeed her 40th will not be gratefully received and may be returned in a rather forceful manner.

**Useless fact of the day - there are many advantages to being 40, with main points including that your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size and there is nothing left to learn the hard way**

Sunday 2nd November 2008 - PART 2

Be mindful and read my blog entry below this one - this is just an additional entry. I was clearing out the memory card on the digital camera and came across this video from a few months ago of a momentous battle between Luca and the dog. Watch it through, it becomes so animated that the WWE are making a bid to feature this at next years "Summer Slam"!

I've also just read dad's post, and the location/date look perfect to me.

**Useless fact of the day 2 - Before having sex, "snails court from 15 minutes to six hours by circling each other, touching with tentacles, and biting on the lip and genitals". Snails have their sexual organs around their neck, which they use to inseminate one another simulteneously.

And one more old video, this of Luca when he first worked out how to climb the stairs. Note the grainy video (set on wrong resolution), which gives a really nice "Wonder Years" type feel to it. Just sing the following song as you watch it and feel yourself well up "What would you do if I sang out of tune, would you stand up and walk out on me....."

Sunday 2nd November 2008

Just a few - admittedly very dark - photo's and videos for you, all of which were taken last night at Thainstone. Squint and you will see! This was Luca's first experience of bonfire night, and his mothers fears that he may be freightened were thankfully ill founded. He adored it. He initially went very quiet when we sidled up to the enormous bonfire, but within seconds was shouting and pointing at the hot ash rising from the top of the flames. However, this was nothing compared to his reaction to the fireworks! Again he wasn't scared, but the fact this was a new experience for him was extremely evident! His face pulled various grimaces as the diversity of colours and explosions lit up in front of his face. The word "ooooooohhh" was repeated ad infinitum!

We walked back to the outskirts of Inverurie afterwards (as I'm too cheap to pay the shocking parking charge of £5 on site) and jumped into the car to complete the final 2 mile return leg, eventgually arriving home around 8.15pm. Carole had stayed at home to cook tea, so she, Guthrie and Fergus (who were round for dinner last night) greeted the chilly wee man as he came in. Despite having met both Guthrie and Fergus previously he slinkily adapted into his shy, coy demeanour. We gave him his last bottle before he departed tiredly for bed, before enjoying an evening of too much apple pie and wine, only ending after midnight - good company though.

While I remember, Luca is now at the stage where bottles are becoming far less desirable for him. Indeed, he only drinks around half of what he did, replacing this with more solid foods. As satisfying as it is to see, it's a little to sad to witness the end of the age of the baby being replaced by the new age of the boy! We miss him cuddling in for his bottles.

That said, he is ridiculously cuddly and affectionate and I've been forced to fund a team of scientists to develop an anti-Luca spray in order to give me a second to go to the toilet during his waking hours.

It was quite a busy day yesterday, as previous to the bonfire and dinner I'd been to the gym (albeit only for 20 minutes!) and Pittodrie with dad and Ross to watch a disturbingly rare home victory. Strange how something as simple as your football team winning can make such a difference to your general mood! Though there is the well known myth that there was an enormous increase on the average of babies being born in England nine months after their win in 1966.

Today I was woken by Luca shouting for me, so I rolled out of bed, lobbed him over my shoulder and took him down for breakfast. I was so tired I genuinely can't even remember heating his bottle! Hope it was milk I was heating and not that remaining glass of Baileys left over from last night. He does have a big grin now however..... Afterwards we took a walk to Marks & Spencers for the morning paper and lunch snacks for Carole. Luca loves his walks, as do we as they wear him out! He's passed out now, but we'll be getting him up soon as Annie (Carole's pal) is coming round at 3pm to see him. To escape from girlie chat I think I'll disappear to the gym. Though I'll be paying the apparatus lip service today as I'm not much in the mood! Last chance before I go back to work tomorrow though :(

**Useless fact of the day - Three sparklers burning together generate the same heat as a blow-torch**