Ladies and gentlemen please press your buzzer to vote for your favourite.....

Following work today, Luca accompanied me on a trip to the local supermarket to pick up provisions for Hogmanay. Whilst there we visited the cafe for Luca's tea, during which I picked up a copy of the "Evening Express" newspaper to peruse through while old shaggy head devoured his ham sandwich. My jaw, however, dropped upon hitting page 8. See image below:-

Too far away? OK, here it is in close up:-

Yep, that's our wedding picture again. Carole has (unbeknownst to us) been entered by the paper into their "Bride of the Week" contest. I rather think she's pleased....... So what happens now? Well, you have to vote of course, see below:-

And what's the prize? Well, nothing really, she'd then enter "Bride of the Year". But I think it may please her, which in turn would please me, and when I'm pleased I blog more, which means you'd then get more pictures of scruffy the toddler - everyone wins! So pick up your phone......

See link for details of the contest:- www.eveningexpress.co.uk/Article.aspx/1020714?UserKey=

Despite having to work on Hogmanay (boo), it's been a good day thus far. In addition to the surprise above, we've now had our new chandelier fitted in the living room, as captured below:-

Rather grand isn't it? It's certainly bright. Indeed, you know when you're under anaesthetic in the hospital, and being operated by that underqualified relief doctor from Slovenia? And he has his manual upside down and cuts the wrong bit, and you're drawn toward the blinding white light beyond the pearly gates? Our chandelier is like that, but brighter.

There's no real reason for the picture above, other than this blogs first picture of him as a 4 year old. He loved his birthday yesterday, despite temporarily departing for bed half way through! He's still struggling with illness at present and isn't quite 100% - but being the annoyingly bright child he is he has the tendancy to use it as a mean to manipulate a situation to meet his own ends.

I should end this entry now, as I must begin preparing Hogmanay dinner. It is, of course, a dish I've never previously attempted, so it could be terrific or terrible. Much like 2010 then (albeit more of the former), so rather apt.

Happy New Year from everyone from the Inverurie Stewart Clan, and I hope you enjoy the video below of Luca during his birthday celebrations yesterday.

**Useless fact of the day - January was named after the God "Janus", who has two faces which can simultaneously look backwards into the old year as well as toward the new one**

Yay it's Christmas....oh no, that's it finished already

The first official Stewart (Inverurie clan) family Christmas has passed, in a seemingly quicker fashion than a Vince Cable backtrack

Who, Dad, is definitely 67 years old, born in 1943. Sorry, private debate:)

A quieter Christmas than is normally standard, Carole, Luca and I stayed at home this year to complete our first year as (officially) a married section of the Stewart family. Carole grew ever more excited by the prospect of organising Christmas as the time drew nearer, and indeed was out of bed and downstairs continuing preparations on Christmas morning a good deal earlier than Luca and I.

Luca was, of course, a particular curiosity. His excitement leading up to the day was palpable (and comparable to his mother), but on the morning itself he awoke at his own pace and enjoyed a leisurely and disciplined breakfast in the kitchen before even contemplating opening his presents.

As expected, however, his temporary level of cool evaporated entirely once the wrapping paper began it's journey around our living room in a thousand pieces. Here he is below, anarchically bellowing that "It's Humungusaur!!!!"

Following further preparations, including the prerequisite round of telephone calls to loved ones (apart from Banchory, where Mum was at church while Dad spent his morning dog walking - a Christmas first for him!), dinner began, and what a feast it was. We'd purchased a goose rather than turkey this year (simply to be a little different), and what an inspired choice it turned out to be - delicious. So delicious in fact that the unthinkable occurred. We had no room left for dessert! Not that Luca minded, due to his decision to blind himself, as follows:-

Luca wasn't alone in playing up for the camera however, as demonstrated below by Carole looking pretty:-

And me looking rather less so:-

We also attended a second Christmas yesterday, enjoying a Boxing Day in Banchory. While Carole and Mum blethered in the kitchen, Luca and Granda played together in the living room. An amusing sight, as I sat watching the Stewart's of two generations apart playing games that best demonstrated each others OCD tendencies.

And the meal? Delicious of course. Was it as good as the previous days feast? Do I look stupid enough to answer that question?

**Useless fact of the day - Apart from mouse/mice, goose/geese is the only animal where the singular and pleural words have different stems**

Iiiiiittsss Chrrriiisssssstttmmaaaassssssssssss!

Ding dong merrily on high indeed, Christmas is now upon us. Recession? Work stress? Pa, these things are entirely incidental compared to the pant wetting excitement of the imminent arrival of Kris Kringle down the chimney tonight.

As the season expects, Christmas is a time where it's most appropriate to evaluate your worth at this time of year. Most pertinently, have I been a good boy? I think so, but to dissuade any likelihood of debate we will move quickly onto Luca......

.....who has become as interesting a character as you could expect. With a brain like a sponge and an ability to act and improvise in almost any situation, he has become an intriguing presence to be around. My only current issue is that he has now hit the "why" stage.

"Daddy, why are you driving slowly", he'll enquire.

"Because the roads are slippy" I'll reply

"Why?" he'll ask

"Because it's snowing"

"Why?"

"Because moisture freezes into ice crystals in the clouds"

"Why?"

"Because it's cold"

"Why?"

"Because it's winter"

"Why?"

Ad infinitum.......

I often wonder whether the winter or my patience will end soonest

Segueing entirely seamlessly (ahem) onto the next subject, Lucy requested on her last blog for a selection of music to go out running to. Like Dad, compiling music lists is a sad obsession, so for Lucy's benefit here's a list of the 15 best tracks to exercise to:-

Foo Fighters - The Pretender

Biffy Clyro - That Golden Rule

Manic Street Preachers - Australia

Andrew WK - We Want Fun

Avril Lavigne - Sk8r Boi

Supergrass - Caught By The Fuzz

Bon Jovi - It's My Life

Paramore - Decode

The Offspring - Kids Aren't Alright

Gabriella Cilmi - On A Mission

Stereophonics - Dakota

Florence And The Machine - Drumming Song

Katy Perry - Hot N Cold

Elastica - Stutter

Linkin Park - New Divide

I can also provide a list of music to warm down to Lucy, if only you'd ask. Go on, ask. Please ask

Our house has long since been prepared for Christmas. Carole has enthusiastically picked up the baton this year and ran with it. And ran and ran. Our house is awash with Christmasness, even reaching absurdly festive levels in the building of a Christmas gingerbread house, as depicted below:-

Our son has also enjoyed the advent calendars greatly too. We have two separate chocolate calendars. It is now December 24th. And I am yet to sample a single piece of chocolate from my calendar. "You can have one tomorrow Daddy, OK?" is the morning speech repeated to me on a daily basis by everyone's favourite toddler with the dual accent.

My only issue with this years festivities is that Carole's present pile will be little light this year. Due to the severe weather of the past few weeks, deliveries have been slow to the point that internet orders have been entirely worthless. Still, at least I was prepared and purchased a few gifts the old fashioned way - by braving the shops and muscling my way past Christmas shoppers with that tell-tale psychopathic look in their eyes. Luca has accompanied me on a couple of these jaunts, as you can see below:-

Daddy's popularity with the young rapscallion diminishes further with each snow laden trek. However, he always eagerly joins me as the chance of a tasty snack in the nearest cafe is always a high probability. I must improve his table manners though, as is evident below........

Although there are many more Christmas related stories to tell (and embellish), I will take this opportunity to sign off and rejoin my rarely accompanied wife downstairs. She has been a Christmas widow this week as I've continued to work daily and allied it with last minute Christmas shopping in the evenings. So to precede the threat of divorce proceedings, I'll wish you all the happiest of Christmases and will of course be thinking of you.

**Useless fact of the day - Santa Clause is sometimes referred to as Kriss Kringle, a name most likely derived from Christ Kindl (Christ-child). The German name of the Christ Child is Christkind, commonly used in its diminutive form Christkindel**

Luca the actor (Dec 17th 2010)

Luca was infected by the acting bug on Tuesday, as he and his nursery cohorts performed a Christmas nativity play for us. Here he is below, in full shepherds costume (sans hat)

Can you spot him in the picture below too? Where's Wally indeed

It was an interesting experience watching him, albeit certainly not an intriguing one. Whisper it, but it was a little boring to be honest, and by the end I'm certain I wasn't the only parent staring at the ceiling and thinking about whether Aberdeen FC should play with two strikers up front, or just one with the wide players pushing forward at will. Oh God, what if I'm wrong and I was the only one there wishing I was elsewhere? I'm a bad Dad.

Aside from this, I've been on holiday again for much of this week - I really need to organise my years allowance a little better next year. Almost as a counter to my previous break, this week I've kept busy mainly with DIY. A scary thought, as my skills at home improvements are probably akin to Dawn French's as a fitness trainer.

However, the house is still standing, which is a good, as well as a little surprising. Carole was even impressed by what I've done in her bathroom, although I know she is highly nervous about "hubster" being home alone with a saw, an electric drill and a lot of spare time.....

That said, the work has come to a crashing halt again. The early part of the week (with DIY, Luca's show, football and Christmas shopping) was hugely busy, but the latter stages of this week have been a lot less productive. I've been infected with a heavy cold, and with this I've essentially slept almost constantly for the past 24 hours. When everything that exits your body is coloured a peculiar hue of luminous yellow then you know you're in trouble.

With this cold, my memory isn't great, so my recollection of many Luca related stories of late is restricted to say the least. However, he has been his normal monkey-esque self. We have our Christmas tree up now, and surrounding it is an (already) plentiful supply of presents. This hasn't gone unnoticed by our "cherub", who constantly asks "Is it Christmas yet?". On Wednesday I popped through to the kitchen to prepare his food, only to be disturbed a noise picked up by my bat-like ears (as a parent your hearing improves by about 500%....). It was the sound of paper tearing. I ran through to the living room to see........

........Do I even need to say? A 3 (nearly 4) year old sitting beside the tree with a clump of Christmas wrapping paper in one hand and the resultant opened present in the other. "It's a DVD" he excitedly relayed to me, a smile plastered across his beaming face

The joys. Finally, "enjoy" the video clip below of Luca in his play. He's the one impatiently swinging the toy sheep around by it's tail, and looking almost as bored as his Dad.....

**Useless fact of the day - The term "Nativity Drama" is used by Wellesz^[1] in his discussion of the troparion hymns in the Christmas liturgy of Byzantine Rite Churches, from Sophronius in the seventh century. Goldstein argues^[2] that the label "drama" is misleading, that the troparia are more akin to an oratorio than a play, and that the form is not a precursor of later more decidedly dramatic form**

Easy like Sunday morning

Why, Mr Stewart, is that a camera in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Nope, it's just a camera, and to prove it scroll down through the compendium of pictures I've taken these past couple of days........

"You know I'm going to have a poo in your shoe for this, don't you?"

What happened next? Did Luca:-

A - Happily and politely shake hands and engage the store Santa in conversation?

Or

B - Spin round and run to the safety that is the back of his Dad's knee's?

"Look at me Dad, I'm pulling an effeminate pose!"

Smug

Every time we pass through the train station Luca insists on waiting for a short while. "Grandma's train might get here soon" he always insists

This was great. Taken earlier today, Luca witnessed his first ever traditional Punch 'N' Judy show. It's weird watching as an adult, you don't actually recognise its demonstration of severe domestic violence when you're an innocent minded tot.....

"Fireenginefireenginefireenginefireenginefireengineffireengine!" This was parked up in Inverurie town centre, and the firemen allowed an incredibly excited Luca to climb aboard - and even sound the sirens. We thought he might just self combust with excitement at this point......

That smile didn't leave his face until quite some time after

Balloon toy. In the mind of a child, if you don't know what it is then what do you do? That's right, you put it on your head

Or just hit Daddy with it

Luca's illness of the last week has almost passed now, and although his hunger hasn't yet returned his energy is slowly creeping back. He's survived (to a moderate extent anyway) a busy weekend, with a discernible decrease in the number of "wig-outs"

Of course some still remain. We made a trip to Aberdeen yesterday in an attempt to purchase new shoes and boots for him (to complain about). As our trip coincided with his Granny and Granda's visit to the cinema (to view the wholly unappealing "The Girl Who Kicked The Hornets Nest") we arranged to meet up for a drink and a bite. All the way there Luca excitedly told me how he was going to "Cuddle Granny Jo and tickle Granda Ian". But did he?

Nope. He cuddled into me throughout like a neglected 3 month old and whined. At least Granda knew how to rouse him slightly. "What's that?" Granda queried, pointing to an item near the cafe's checkout. "Is that chocolate?" a suddenly re-energised voice replied, "For me............."

Today was busier still. Another trip to Aberdeen ensued, this time with the accompaniment of our resident Mum/Wife. A busy morning in the North East's capital city centre included:-

1. Shoe shopping for Luca - Or "run at full pace around the store in odd shoes" as Luca seemed to think

2. Cinema - We saw "Shrek Forever After". Whisper it, but it was actually really good.......

3. Remote control car racing - A demonstration track had been set up inside the Union Square shopping centre. One of the demonstrators made the mistake of allowing Luca to control one of the cars. How much damage can a 4 year old cause in the space of 30 seconds............

4. Punch 'n' Judy show - Or "A guide to domestic violence and petty theft" as it could be renamed. Great fun, but perhaps something that perhaps should have been phased out around the same time as "The Magic Roundabout" and "The Black and White Minstrel Show"..........

5. KFC - Yes, fast food. My stomach will now perform complex gymnastics over the next few days

6. Fire engine - Imagine children on drugs. Even an instance of this still wouldn't adequately describe Luca's excitement levels during this experience

We also somehow shoehorned the entire stockroom of John Lewis into the back of my car. With the number of wedding vouchers so far spent by Carole there, their shareholders will indeed soon enjoy a Very Merry Christmas

**Useless fact of the day - Wikipedia describes Punch from Punch 'n' Judy as a "deformed, child-murdering, wife-beating psychopath who commits appalling act of violence and cruelty upon all those around him and escapes scot-free**

How long, hmm mmm, has this been going on?

Has anyone noticed it's been snowing this week?

I'll try to pay scant mention to it tonight, as I'm certain you've been bored (and have bored others) with constant chatter regarding this white stuff. That arrives every year around the same time

Why are we so obsessed with the weather? Every winter the snow falls and we take a day or two off work. We then spend this downtime staring out the window, while simultaneously shaking our heads and muttering "the snow is really starting to lie now". When not doing this we sit in front of the TV, tutting as the news tells us the same scare stories about empty supermarkets and no petrol

And every year everything is fine.

I haven't personally needed to take a "snow day" this week, as I've been on holiday. But I've had the company of a certain L.M.Stewart for much of it - he's picked up another illness, leaving both him and I housebound.

He's OK, but his stomach's sore, his cheeks boiling, his appetite non existent and his cough is akin to that of an 90 year old life-long Woodbines smoker. It was so extreme on Wednesday that he was kept awake until the early hours - his coughing was so constant he couldn't fall asleep.

But - he's a lot better now. Indeed, he went back to nursery today. As much as I enjoyed being with him, it was good to see him back amongst his friends again.

And it was probably more entertaining for him also. As you know (primarily from this blog), I spend an inordinate amount of time with the shaggy headed little terror. However, it's really been brought home to me this week how much time we spend together outside the house, rather than in our home together.

Cinema, park, football, library, swimming, etc, etc. We'll go anywhere, as long as it's a mini adventure. However, it transpires I'm a rather less effectual Dad within the confines of our home. I simply didn't know what to do with him over such lengths of time stuck within the four walls of our house. Carole has always been more home oriented than I, and also has a great deal more patience. I find it difficult not to tire quickly of the games he likes to play (his puzzles, board games, jigsaws, etc), and this became an area of great chagrin.

Luca, as is his wont, requires your constant companionship when ill. Indeed, even trips to the lavatory cause him a degree of upset. At one point when I was having a shower he walked into the bathroom and sat on top of the down turned toilet seat, patiently waiting for me to finish. "Luca, go through to the living room" I laughed through the sound of the fizzing shower jets. "I can't", came the rather wimpy reply, "I miss you"

The one game I can do is fighting however. Despite his illness (and with it the constant spells of limited energy) he has frequently founds the energy to engage me in our customary play flights. "I'm coming to get you Humungasaur" he'll cry, with his face creased into a faux rage, "Krumpalump will destroy you!"

For the record, he long ago christened me Humungasaur and he as Krumpalump as our battle names.....

I'll enter the proviso swiftly before I move on - Luca knows the only person he is allowed to fight is his Dad, and he admirably keeps to this arrangement.

I should go now, as the time has passed the midnight hour. To finish I hope you enjoy the following video of Luca, taken only a couple of days ago. It's a little unique, as for the first time in the light of day he was able to describe the details of the nightmare he'd endured hours previously. Just watch, and enjoy picking out the bits where he's clearly using a bit of "artistic licence".......

**Useless fact of the day - Luca's favourite TV show "Ben 10" now has it's own travelling roadshow. It's next due in Bristol. It's not coming to Aberdeen :(**