Tuesday 30th December 2008

Yes, I'm fully aware that it's a particularly small photo of Luca, but that said he was himself a trifle small at that stage! The photo of "baby Luca" is in honour of his second birthday today. Carole's got him some gifts and a cake, and Mum (my Mum, his Gran!) is coming over today at lunchtime to help celebrate. I, however, will be missing as I'm unfortunately working the period between Christmas and New Year.

Hopefully, if I get home from work sharply tonight, I can take him swimming. Not exactly a birthday treat - he'll scream like a horror movie virgin just at the sight of the pool - but I need to prep him for the upcoming holiday. He was so good in water as a tot, but got progressively worse to the point where I regrettably stopped taking him. This will not be fun....

What is a little more fun is the puppy - Sima is settling very quickly now, and is already well on her way to being toilet trained. We have very few accidents now, with 90% of her "doings" occurring outside. Though she did have a poo in her water bowl yesterday, which had dissolved into brown water by the time I saw it. That was particularly enjoyable to clean up. I had to keep telling myself it was a McDonalds Chocolate Milkshake as I cleanedthe bowl in order to avoid the gag reflex. Looking at it retrospectively, poo in water is probably better for you than anything from McDoanld anyway!

**Useless fact of the day - Before 1660, New Year took place on what is now the 11th of January!**

Boxing Day 2008

Christmas Day has come and gone again, and left us with the familiar feeling of anti-climax mixed with severe stomach ache. The latter affliction still doesn't stop us digging into the toblerones, cheesecakes, trifles, etc ad infinitum again today, despite the "yeugh" feeling we woke up with this morning. Has this particular type of gluttony always existed at Christmas? Thank the stars it's only one day a year!

I'm sure Luca will back up this statement. Don't get me wrong, he loved his first (conscious) Christmas, but the excitement of the day definitely got to him. He has never, in his short existence, been faced with so many fun toys. In hindsight we'd have spread the opening of the presents across the day, rather than condense it, as we did, into a two hour section of the morning. He simply didn't know which to play with next, and as a result had two major crying fits due to being over stimulated! One of the video's I took (I'll post it tomorrow) features him playing with one of his many gifts - if memory serves correctly this was from Liz and Tom. This truck/car combo was definitely a winner, which is proven by the fact Luca has already run the batteries in two of the cars dry!

Carole and I did rather well on the presents front too. So many thanks to all our families and friends..... Put it like this, we did rather well! The phrase "They shouldn't have" tended to dominate Carole and my conversations late in the day due to the generosity shown, and we're both really chuffed and touched with what you gave us.

Speaking of gifts, I'm wearing a hat Liz knitted for me as I type this - it's freezing in Inverurie today! Although thankfully my lap is being kept warm while I write by my canine companion, Sima (an old Gaelic name), as she sleeps well on me. Though I need to keep this to a minimum as she sleeps much less contentedly at night in her bed! On the night of Christmas Eve, she wailed almost literally ALL night - Christmas Day consequently seemed to pass us by in a slightly perverse dreamlike manner. Last night went much better though, and I got almost 3 minutes of sleep which was an unexpected bonus. She's very cute though, and bright - she's responding to my training already (although I have been very ably abetted by a rather enormous pack of sausages...)

We actually haven't accomplished much today. I took Luca out for a drive, mainly to head to a shop to return one of the presents I got Carole - the mobile phone I'd bought her frustratingly is a dud so I need to exchange it. Rather predictably though, most shops are shut so we were forced to head back. It wasn't a huge loss though, as it gave Carole a couple of hours to chill after her efforts yesterday (I'm still burping and tasting the supeb turkey dinner she prepared yesterday...) and got Luca out the house and away from the over-stimulation of toys and chocolate! He loves drives in dads car due to the high vantage point and screams out everything he sees as we drive - bus, lorry, dog, cat, man, grass, etc, etc. Listening to the radio/CD player on such journeys is not a possibility! He's trying to copy everything I say at the moment too. His latest is "absolutely", which he recites almost perfectly. Indeed his learning of this word has demonstrated to me my over-use of it. During our drive today he said it (in response to my recitation) around ten times. I guess I need to limit my usage of this!

Kelly and Craig came by tonight, after arriving into Aberdeen from Exeter. Luca took his usual fright to the doorbell sounding, and refused to even acknowledge them for the first 20 minutes in particular, instead burying his head in my shoulder. Slowly he came around though, encouraged by Kelly's willingness to roughhouse (see above photo's - the first in particular shows Kellys shock as Luca tries to pull her top up to blow raspberries on her belly - she wasn't aware of this game of Luca's!!) and Craigs willingness to have blocks thrown at his head! We have to apologise to mum and dad though, as Kelly and Craigs arrival in Banchory was severely delayed by our catchup, drinks, snacks, Luca, the new puppy and (most prominantly) the Playstation 3!

**Useless fact of the day - In 1643, the British Parliament officially abolished the celebration of Christmas. In 1649 they even banned Christmas Carols. Puritans thought that Christmas should be a very solemn day so they banned carols and parties. The only celebration allowed was a sermon and a prayer service. The ban remained in place until the restoration in 1660**

Wednesday December 24th 2008

Today's blog will be as short as Mr Kiplings cakes are good - exceedingly so. This post is purely designed to answer and ask separate questions. To Kelly, yes, that would a good idea. Pop by for a coffee with Kat, that'll be easier for little "Owka's" sleeping pattern. Any changes though, just let me know - I've quite happy top come and get you (and was kind of looking forward to seeing you at the airport!)

With that said, we only now have the question to cover. Which is:-
My new puppy - we need a name. At present I'm calling her "Hulk" until I think of something to call her permanently. However, the only contenders in my mind are Hawk, Malvagita, Charnley and Hulk. I need votes, and/or suggestions! ASAP would be appreciated, as Luca would like to know what to call her.

**Useless fact of the day - A white Christmas will remain a dream this year with Britain's skies expected to be filled with clouds but no snow. The temperature is expected to fall from a slightly above average 7-6C on Wednesday to around 6-7C on Christmas Day**

Tuesday 23rd December 2008

Which is cuter? With today being my new puppies first day at Castle Greyskull (aka 17 Rae Circle) I think the prixe must go to the baby of the canine variety. This, however, will be a one day award as I expect Luca to come out fighting and reclaim his title!

I'm sure most of you were already aware, but this wee pooch is my Christmas present from Carole. Unbelievably mum didn't let the cat out of the bag, so I guess Carole's threat of limited Luca visits did the trick! I have to admit, I did have an inkling. Perhaps in my younger, prettier and dumber days the hints and clues may have flown over my head, but due to being a lot older with a rather reduced prettiness factor my "smarts" have increased exponentially in relation.

Well, at least that's what I tell myself! Kelly would no doubt be able to psychologically analyse such an obvious form of narcissism, but being the kind, caring sister she is I'm certain she'll let this pass without comment....

Ignoring the rather academic last couple of paragraphs, I'm absolutely delighted with my present. Since Tylers departure I've missed having a doggy companion - Abby and Isis were a perfect gruesome twosome but were very much Caroles girls - and have idly mused with Carole occasionally as to preferred dog breeds. However, this is my first puppy so I have a learning curve ahead. Still, whatever happens, no learning curve will be as steep as that which commenced on 30th December 2006!

Waffling aside, I need to sign off and try to get the ball of fur to drink something - I also need to figure out a name for her too, so any suggestions would be appreciated. Carole has already vetoed all Transformer character names.....

Before I go though - mum, you forgot to post your photo's on your blog!!

**Useless fact of the day - The Jack Russell Terrier is a happy, energetic dog breed. They are small in size, but their attitude and strength says otherwise. Jack Russell’s are extremely alert, bold and loyal. They have amusing personalities and are exceptionally intelligent**

CCC

Well that's all of my Christmas shopping done, delivered and dusted - but not quite all wrapped :- - boo :-(. I'm just planning my Christmas day menu - light lunch for 6 (including Luca) and a main Christmas Dinner for the 3 of us. I'm really not a natural in the kitchen so I'm glad that this year I'm getting to practice cooking without having guests - Gary and Luca are my gorgeous fluffy guinea pigs - complain if they dare!!!!!;-). To be honest Markies will have a big stake in the dinner!!! (Good old M & S :-))

Now I did actually take 2 video's of Luca the other day, just as he woke up after his nap – he was bouncing in his cot-bed which was ultra cute - however, much to my annoyance I can't find them on the camera :- A blog is always more interesting if you have an up to date photo or video (I apologise for obviously mucking this up!!).
This is Luca eating his macaroni cheese this evening - he's had a busy day at Granny Jo's with Gary and Isis too.

This year is great as I've no idea what Gary's getting me and I've managed to keep my trap buttoned regarding his present - so we'll both have some nice surprises (hopefully!!!).

Luca and I went to Hoodles on Wednesday - Hoodles is a kid’s play barn with a great soft play area, all indoors. The facilities are great and they do fancy coffees and tasty sandwiches, soups and paninis - so it's all good. Luca was really shy and clingy at first but once he got going he was fine - I think I'm going to start taking him to these kind of places more regularly ... see if I can get rid of this "shy" phase he seems to be going through.

My Wednesday's off aren't really "off" as such, because this is the day that Luca's not a nursery and I cook, clean and tidy up too whilst entertaining, feeding and cleaning a toddler (I don't find this easy - I really don't know how people cope with more than one at a time ..... Jo you are a goddess in my eyes!). One day hopefully we'll be able to afford to have Luca in nursery on Wednesdays then I can really have a proper day off with some 'me' time as well as all the cooking, cleaning and chores. He really does love his nursery so I don't feel guilty at all about him being there - in fact, he rarely wants to leave the nursery when I come to pick him up in the evenings - so far I only have 2 victories over the nursery .. .1) he eats fruit at home (at least 2 portions per day) and ... 2) he sleeps for at least 2hrs after lunch :-)

Oh and Ian - for you to know my middle name Gary would have to marry me and I doubt that's going to happen as he's just not the marrying type :-) ... so you'll just have to keep guessing. Without going into too much detail ... my middle name has much to answer for ... in fact I think it's the main reason why myself and Gary got back together again!!!

Today I’ve had to order a new car seat for Luca as the strap/harness on our current one keeps getting jammed – Gary can normally force it to work but I can’t and I’m worried about going out with Luca on my own and on the return leg of my trip I become stranded because of the darn harness. The seat’s done well though, as it was a hand me down from my sister … so no complaints there. However, the new one is pretty pricey as it’s an Isofix model – this means it’s extra safe and secure due to the fact that it’s actually anchored to some special Isofix fittings within my car's back seats, rather than the seat belt which is a bit hit or miss really – not the most secure and really flipping difficult to put in and out of the car. I got it online - £35 cheaper than going to get the same one from Halfords – it should arrive on Tuesday ……. Tuesday’s going to be a very busy day hey Jo - ;-)*?

Reading Gary's blog from a few days ago .... his speciality meal was frozen Yorkshire puddings and mayonnaise (I kid you not!!!) - how the hell could I resist him?/*........ but his best and most memorable meal was one he cooked on my birthday (about 6 years ago now) - it was under- cooked pork chops served on un-drained slices of boiled potato and not forgetting coleslaw on top of the chops :-) .... how spoilt was I?:-)* .... and just look at us today :-)

Friday 19th December 2008

Whilst Carole watches Eastenders on TV (I've long since accepted my fate of never being able to escape this turgid programme - Lucy put us through it as children, while Carole tortures me with it as an adult...) I thought I'd add an interesting video of Luca to keep you entertained. He was extremely talkative this evening, so I decided to record him. Predictably he clammed up a little in front of the camera, but have a watch anyway. He's trying to pronounce the new words he's learnt (triangle and rectangle) and he gives a nice goodbye at the end too.

I was a little hard on Eastenders there. It is absolute rubbish, but there is worse viewing. How To Look Good Naked (the programme with Gok Wan) is so bad it makes me want to cry...Any other nominations for TV programmes which make you desperately want to flush your own head down the toilet?

Oh, Strictly Come Dancing!!! We have a winner!

In response to Dad's blog, I'll pick the gruesome twosome up at the airport on Boxing Day. I rather assume with the end of the festivities being nigh by then they may be a little quiet on the journey from the airport to Banchory, but on the postive side that'll give Luca the opportunity to teach them how to pronounce "rectangle" correctly!

For the first weekend in a month I'm not on call! Hooray! However, with Christmas being around the corner I have neither the time nor the money to take advantage of it. C'est la vie, I'll still look on the postive side...

And finally, to all the computer geeks out there, Carole's PC (which is so old it makes Cliff Richard look like a Young One) needs a new graphics card. Her card is so outdated it uses "Etch-A-Sketch" as it's main processor. If anyone has any ideas where to best aquire a decent one on a modest budget then we're all ears. The best suggestion wins a hanky full of Luca's Christmas snot.

**Useless fact of the day - Cliff Richard currently lives with a former Roman Catholic priest, John McElynn, whom he met in 2001 while doing charity work in the United States. He has been described as Cliff's property manager and looks after his houses while Cliff is away. Hmmm**

Thursday 18th December 2008

One week to Christmas! It matters little what age we are, Christmas will always hold an appeal. Obviously only up until you open the present I gave you, then the familiar anti-climactic feeling kicks in...

I wasn't originally intending to post a blog today, as Carole was intending to do so. However, she's struggling with another bug and is taking a "Torry holiday" from work to recover. I guess with her curled up in bedI'm going to have to cook tea/burn down the kitchen (delete as applicable) once I get home tonight. Healthy it is unlikely to be.

Partly due to my misguided anticipation of Christmas, I checked the Christmas TV schedules this morning - but there's not much on. The best I can see is "Top Of The Pops Christmas Special" (which I assume Dad will tape and send to Lucy), "Best Ever Christmas Films" and "Monsters Inc". The latter I'm sure Luca will thoroughly enjoy, although obviously Carole and myself are far too mature for such childish entertainment.

Yes, the last statement is a very clear outright lie.

Other than that, Luca's gran and granda will pop over, as well as his Uncle Ross. Hopefully we'll get a chance to have a family Christmas Day walk too, although this is wholly dependant on Carole's Christmas cooking stress levels! I would help but she may not be too appreciative. Although I could just simplify the process and produce my speciality for Christmas dinner - Yorkshire Puddings (cooked from frozen obviously).

News on Luca today? Carole took him to "Hoodles" yesterday, where he's still showing trepidation toward anything which sits more than 2 ft off the ground. It seems he's inherited his dad's fear of heights! We're going to "up the ante" on such activities however, in order to loosen him up. We've still got the swimming issue to face too...

I've ru out of photo's of Luca would you believe, hence the rather sparse look to todays blog. I will have this situation rectified by tomorrow however.

**Useless fact of the day - Meat has always featured at the centre of traditional Christmas feasts, although it is has not always been in the form of turkey. The act of serving a large roasted joint of meat at Christmas is believed to originate from ancient sacrificial rites to appease the gods and hopefully ensure a sufficient harvest in the following year. Popular meats used for early celebratory purposes were beef, mutton, pork, peacocks and swans. King James I can be thanked for the emergence of turkey as he introduced it during the seventeenth century for the important reason that it was far kinder to his delicate digestive system! Of course not everyone could afford it, and the poor had to make do with goose**

Tuesday 16th December 2008

Why. I imagine it is the one question you are asking. Why has Gary posted a photo of his own ugly mug instead of another photo of the gorgeous baby? The answer is simple and twofold. Firstly because Luca has long been asleep (it's 10.30pm), and secondly because this isn't any old photo - this is a photo taken by the Logitech camera I've installed into the PC. Yes, we are now online and on Skype! From tomorrow I'll be able to take Luca through to the PC room to say hello to you - well, as long as you have a PC camera.....This will make perfect sense to the Stewarts and Lesina's, although possibly less to the Corthorns, Breeds and Armstrongs! So......Mike, Val, Liz and Tom - give Carole a phone and she'll explain how you get to see "live Luca" saying hello on your computer screen. Jane won't need to do this as I imagine Nick either already has this or can set it up in seconds!

Speaking of the Armstrongs, Carole just told me today that Ben cut his magnificent hair off the day after we left following our last visit! Carole is going to email me pre-haircut pictures, and on the next blog I'll post them alongside Ross. Honestly, this will be a real battle of the barnets, and I'm really not sure who will win!

Tonight I got home from the office (feeling a bit sick as someone at work opened one of the boxes of chocolates and I'm really not very good at eating just one....) to be greeted with the sound of Luca shouting from upstairs "Daddy, daddy" in a range somewhere between soprano and falsetto! Once I'd regained my hearing and helped his mum get him indressed for his bath (a task which would often test the strength of Thor), I came down and thoroughly cleared and cleaned both the "cubby hole" and the downstairs bathroom - all before dinner! I thought I'd best boast about such a feat due to the disturbingly rare nature of such events....

After all this, and also following Luca's bed snuggling time, we eventually got our tea and watched the second last "Survivors" on BBC2, which I think (coincidentally as we are reaching the year end, which is generally a time for reflection and "best of year" lists) we'd both list as TV event of the year. And it was certainly better than the live football featured on Sky tonight - Shrewsbury v Chester, an appallingly low level of football. Even Lincoln City and Partick Thistle play to a better standard!

I've left Carole to watch a programme on male gigolo's while I do this blog, and judging by the screams of laughter it's rather good! As such I'm going to join her. Night! Oh, before I go, here's an old picture of Luca (he was 2 weeks old) You didn't think I'd leave you short?

**Useless fact of the day - The most famous person to come from Lincoln was Bernie Taupin, Elton Johns's writing partner**

Monday 15th December 2008

No, that's no Luca I'm afraid, I was just emailed this today and it made me grin. Talking of emails, a friend emailed me a link asking me to log on to the "World Of Warcraft" website. For those of you who don't know, this is an online game played by millions worldwide. And it's for geeks. And yes I am a geek, just not that kind of geek.

I guess you all noticed that it transpires that Carole's a more eloquent and descriptive blog writer than we expected! I will keep on top of her to update regularly - although judging by her intent to correct me in prose - as well as verbally - should I be encouraging this.....Oh, and Dad, you asked what Carole's middle name was? To quote her directly "If I told you I'd have to kill you"! I know, but it even took me a long time to find out....

I noticed from Kelly's blog that she and Craig are now coming up - Great news, but my (and Carole and Luca's!) present to she and Craig is already on route to her! Don't worry though Kelly, as I'm sure it'll arrive with you long before you come up!

Speaking of which, does this mean that Dad, Mum and Ross won't be popping through to Inverurie on Christmas Day? Carole had already intended to make a light lunch for everyone. Or maybe Kelly and Craig could come through too? Let us know?

Briefly, before I sign off, we had our second panto of the weekend last night. And it was a disaster. Luca couldn't sit still, the term "ants in your pants" was never more apt. It was a shame as the show itself seemed rather impressive. However, we gave up approximately 45 minutes after the curtains opened and took him home. Guess he's still too young, and the late start time didn't help. A couple of my colleagues told me this morning that they faced the same problem - albeit not at the same level of the scene that smelly nappies caused!

**Useless fact of the day - Have you ever wanted to know about poo? Tough, cos here we go - The smelly substance in excrement is called skatole (3-methylindole), and it is the substance to which the human nose is most sensitive on a per molecule basis. It is present in faeces because it is a breakdown product from hemoglobin (found in red blood cells) that enters the gut via bile. The reason we have evolved to be so sensitive to the smell of this substance is that, by making poo smell so terrible to us, evolution has ensured that we remain repelled by our own poo. If we hate the smell, we know that its bad and we steer clear of it as much as possible**

Saturday 13th December .... part 2 .... by CCC

11:46pm - yep I'm a night owl :-) My first post ever ....- the rain is beating down on the spare room window and it's really windy :-( I'm supposed to be wrapping Christmas presents but seem to being finding anything else to do but that!

I do love reading Gary's blog - he exaggerates so, but it's very readable so I just snigger and don't say a word ... however just halve everything he says and you'll get a truer picture of the actual events :-)

The panto was really good for a small local production - the camel costume in particular was fabulous ... pity Gary didn't get a photo of that. Luca really enjoyed it and clapped in all of the right places and booed the baddy off the stage many times - my initial thoughts were that he was still too young but it was really only the length of the production that brought him down in the end :-) It started at 2:30 and we left at 4:20 (about 10 minutes before the end) so all in all he was pretty good. My good friend Becks (we had our babies at the same time) had one of the leading roles and was a surprisingly good singer and actor (I was well impressed).

Luca's now getting to the stage where he's not really wanting a bottle but he still wants his milk ("mulk" as he says!) so I'm experimenting by giving him warm milk in his spouted cups - so far so good. He's also trying to drink out of a proper cup now - just like a big boy. Most of the water dribbles down his face but that's not the point now is it?

Just nipped down to take a photo of our tree with my wee camera phone - however, when I switched the lounge light on the lights blew ..... seriously blew ... a bulb didn't just go - the whole darn lot went "BANG" - I nearly cra**ed my self (excuse me!). I located the torch, found the fuse box and flicked the switch - and there was light :-). Just the one bulb gone but I've never had one go "bang" before! The tree looks very lonely without any presents under it - I'm wondering whether a firm "NO" will stop Luca (and Gary!) from wading in amongst them if I put them down ... hmmmm ....

I was worried that Gary hadn't put my celebrity look-a-like on because it was the "hulk" or Whoopie Goldburgh or the likes - so I googled the website and did it myself ... to my relief I was 86% Camilla Belle and Ai Otsuka (who the hell are they we cry?) but worryingly 80% like Johnny Depp (it must be the goatee?) ehhhhh!

Well it's now 12:41am so I really should go to bed - but not before I experiment and upload one of my favourite photos of Luca :-) What a dear,wee gem he is. Oh and a photo of my special lady Abby whom I miss every day and died a year past Monday :-(

(hmmmm ... I must work out how to insert the photos where I want them instead of them automatically going to the top of the blog - it's not obvious so any hints from the "Blog Masters" will be gratefully and graciously received :-))

Don't worry I doubt this will be a regular thing as I've far too many more important jobs to do .... like filing my nails or washing Isis!!!! - Gary is definitely "king" of the Blog and long may it stay that way :-).

Toodle pip to all

xxx

Saturday 13th December 2008

Once you've adjusted your eyes to levels of darkness only bats can visualise, you'll be able to see images in the photo's I took today in Newtonhill (and yes, your eye's aren't fooling you - that's Carole posing in one!). This was Luca's very first pantomime and for the first hour he sat transfixed. The following hour was a different matter however, as the attention span of a toddler isn't that great! We eventually left before it had even finished, but the running time had reached 2 hours and 10 minutes with still no end in sight! Even my attention span had evaporated faster than the UK economy under a Labour government. To be fair, the production was of a far more expensive and professional standard than I'd expected, and even Luca felt encouraged to join in with much of the shouting. Albeit just not at the points he was supposed to...

Going backward, for those who want to be pernickety (you know who you are), I am well aware that bats can't actually see, but merely navigate by a type in internal sonar. Anyway.... This evening we put up our Christmas tree as per standard Yuletide timing - however, we put it up after Luca had zonked for the night, so I'll wait until tomorrow and take some dual tree/Luca pictures.

I know Kelly and Craig may think "He's a cute enough kid, but does he have to be in every photo?", but I have to do this for his family in Lincolnshire and th US - I have been chastised before for my lack of Luca pictures, and as such have to keep the quantity high! It's a bit like the film "Invasion of the Body Snatchers", we all start out normal (in the way Kelly and Craig are now), but once you have kids you become this weirdly different person, suddenly fascinated by family, and more precisely the young 'uns. Put it like this, Liz (Caroles mum) will be fascinated to know that Luca worked out how to say three new words today - Buddy, rectangle and triangle. Even worse, I'm quite excited simply reporting the act!! On top of this Saturday night TV becomes more appealing than before, and two pints equals a hangover. Weird....

Apologies for my gibbering, I'll blame it on the bad cold I've got, and as such need to venture to bed - now. Hopefully tomorrow morning I'll feel a little sharper. Fingers crossed, as I've got my Christmas shopping to do, as well as attending our second panto of the weekend. G'night

**Useless fact of the day - The origins of the pantomimes lie in the old Christmas mummers plays presented by an all male casts in the great halls of manor houses. Every play had moral and always the extreme good defeated the extreme evil, much like what happens in pantomimes today**

Friday 12th December 2008

Three days I've been gone! Have you missed your Luca stories? No? Fair enough.

At the very least I hope you enjoy the photo's above. Apart from the second one - I uploaded the wrong one initially and now can't get rid of it! It's just a picture I took back in March while at Sunderland FC's ground. Fascinating eh? The top picture is the relevant one however. Again an old one, but a good one, it was taken not long after Luca learnt how to stand up. Although he's smiling, if I remember rightly he was a bit grumpy and had a paddy as we tried to put him in the bath. His hands on the wall were less of a lean and more of a grip!

Looks like the winter bugs have hit the Banchory Stewart home. It's not like dad to die with illness (he's not really a "man-flu" type), although mum succumbing is a little more typical! Sorry mum!

Didn't dad's hair look dark in the 4 year old photo mum posted? I think he's having too many sunny breaks, hence the rather lighter shade his hair now takes!

There's not been a lot that's happened since my last post (work, eat, get bullied by Luca), although I wasa hoping the intervening gap would encourage Carole to enter her first post. Can you help me encourage her?

Luca had his 2 year assessment yesterday. Unsurprisingly to those who see him regularly he's doing fine. He's exactly the average height for his age, although rather surprisingly he's a little heavier than average. This surprised us (both Carole and I came along to the appointment) as, if anything, we thought he'd be underweight. Seriously, he's the most toned and solid toddler you've ever seen. There's not an ounce of fat on him, and he seems to be merely a couple of sit ups away from a six pack!

Tomorrow we're heading to Newtonhill for our first panto of the weekend, with our second commencing on Sunday night in Aberdeen. I really hope Luca enjoys them or they'll drag more than a caveman on Valentines Day. I've also got my Christmas shopping to complete, so fingers crossed for the snow to hold off for a few more days! Aberdeen has the highest chance of a white Christmas in the UK this year, with bookies offering odds of 7/2 that we'll wake up to the perfect romantic scene outside our windows.

I'm afraid I only intend doing one lookalike tonight - it's below freezing in Inverurie, and with my PC being situated in one of the house's coldest rooms I'm keen to revert back to living room warmth ASAP! Anyway, here we go:-

Yes, rubbish picture of the celebrity, but it turns out that mum - from this photo - bears a 67% likeness to the young actress Keira Knightley!! That's the highest percent yet! Now that I'm back in the good books with mum I'll bid you adieu.

**Useless fact of the day - The highest earning actress of this year was Angelina Jolie who earnt $15 million. This was still far short of the highest earning actor Will Smith who took home $25 million**

Tuesday 9th December 2008

I wasn't going to bother doing a blog tonight (it's getting late), but I decided at the last minute that it's be nice to get these new photo's on. I took a days holiday today, so I kept Luca off nursery to keep me company. He's hard work though, so I also decided to phone his gran and get her to meet us in Aberdeen once we'd done most of our shopping. We met her at B&Q (we were both looking for Christmas trees), but I'm sure she decided it wasn't such a good idea after all when we pitched up - Luca was having a paddy (I won't bore you with the details why!). Still, as per normal, he settled pretty quickly, most likely because of the food we gave him, as demonstrated in the pictures above. I bought him his own cake, but as you'd guess with a toddler he didn't want his, he wanted someone elses, so his gran lost her scone after only one bite! Cute photo, but I prefer the second one of him sitting with his gran, his little legs barely stretch over the edge of the chair!

We actually had to trawl a couple of stores looking for trees, but without any luck. All the good decently priced (and sized) ones were sold out, leaving only the ridiculously overpriced ones. The season of goodwill or not, I'm not parting with a pony for the sake of a tree. For all non-English readers, you can google the word "pony" to find the value of it....

The final picture was taken in my car on the way home as he munched on a tuna sandwich I'd bought him. He seemed to love it, though I now have fishy crusts lying on the floor of my car.....It was well past his naptime once he'd demolished the sarnie, and he fell asleep when we were still 20 minutes from home. This is a nightmare as (as moosstt of you know) waking a toddler then getting them back to sleep in the house is a tad difficult. Thankfully I had a solution. I said one word. "Chocolate". He woke straight up at the sound of the magical word, and started calling for his "shoshlish", which is the closest he can get to pronouncing a word with three syllables at present! I dug out a kit-kat, so he got his chocolate and I got my easy life. We were all winners!

After getting home I put him to bed and did something I haven't done in a couple of years. I properly cleaned a bathroom. Yes, a couple of years, I know. Carole fainted with the shock on her arrival home!

Tonight I prepared tea for Carole. Well, I bought it, does that count? Carole alos told me today that we've another panto to take Luca to on Saturday, so we've now got two to go to next weekend. The joys....

Well, it looks like Kelly enjoyed the lookalikes. Though likely only because she knows she's out of the firing line! You asked who mine was? See below:-

Yes, the footballer Michael Owen. Hmmm. Dubious. Resemblanes are taken from the shape of the face rather than the hair! Still, it's probably about as close as Lucy's black lookalike!Perhaps it's because I'm purposely using the worst photo's I can find of people (I look cock-eyed, Kelly looks like she's high and Scott looks like a chunky version of himself. To be fair, Lucy's was OK!). Nuff said, next victim:-

Yes, Luca is Helena Bonham Carter! Hmmm again! To be fair though, I tried a couple more photo's of him and both came up with Zac from the teen pop band Hanson. Remember them? They did the song "Mmmm Bop". I just thought Bonham Carter was funnier! Last one of the night will be:-

Yes, Cade is Mischa Barton (some actress from the US TV series "The OC"). I think perhaps Lucy should ensure Cade doesn't get wind of this! Uncle Gary will be persona non grata in March! Before I offend anyone else I'll bid you goodnight. This doesn't mean I'm finished with the lookalikes yet though....

**Useless fact of the day - Scientists believe the perfect face involves the width of the face from cheek to cheek being 10 inches (25 centimetres), then the length of the face from the top of the head to the bottom of the chin should be 16.18 inches to be in ideal proportion. I wonder if any of you will now measure your face....**

Monday 8th December 2008

More Luca picures and video's for you. Well, what do you expect - you don't honestly think I'm quick enough to get Carole in front of the camera do you? These were taken yesterday after we put together his present from Aunt Jane. And judging by the evidence, a very popular gift it will turn out to be.

It's now 9pm at night, and we've just finished our dinner (usual double serving for me and diet serving for Carole...) and this blog will be followed by a round of online Christmas present buying. So if you haven't yet made a Christmas gift suggestion to me you will instead receive a random (relatively!) present selection. But doesn't it increase the feeling of anticipation?

Confused by the random pictures above? It's a new game of mine (I think I'm trying to put off spending money on Amazon....). I've found a website which allows you to upload photo's and it finds the nearest celebrity lookalike! I thought tonight my first victims would be Scott and Lucy. The website decided that Scott most resembles some bloke called Raoul Bova. I had to "wikipedia" him (as I'd never heard of him) and it transpires that he's an Italian actor, best known for starring in the 2004 film "Alien V Predator"! Lucy was a little tougher, and I had to upload three separate photo's of her before it found even one lookalike. And it's not a great one - Jada Pinkett Smith. For those of you struggling with that name, she's Will Smiths wife (and a semi-successfull acress in her own right). She's also black. And Lucy isn't. Hmmm, we'll see how the next lookalikes turn out. Who's next.....

Last victim of the night I promise! Kelly's image was matched with that of Demi Moore. Well done, Kelly's lookalike is the best looking and most famous so far. Now, what will tomorrow bring. Cade? Craig? Dad? Who knows.....

**Useless fact of the day - Up until recently (in scientific terms) the Australian Aborigines were considered the missing links between our apelike ancestor and the rest of mankind. This resulted in terrible prejudices and injustices towards the Australian Aborigines**

Sunday 7th December 2008

Todays blog is brought to you by our proud sponsers at "Give Me That Ruddy Phone To Play With Or I'll Whine All The Way Home". Yes, this is a photo of Luca demanding I pass him my expensive item of electrical equipment (my mobile phone with integrated digital camera) to use as a makeshift hammer. The picture was taken a few hours ago as he sat in the back of my car as we were preparing to leave Aberdeen to head home. Despite the consequent (and predictable) huge dents now adorning my phone, it was worth it as a I got a photo of Luca with a big smile on his face - a rarity! He's not the poseur his uncle Ross was as a child....

We (as in Luca and I) had originally intended to go into Aberdeen yesterday, but due to a work catastrophe I had to postpone it until this morning. I rather enjoyed the 3-4 hours I spent in the office on a Saturday rectifying other peoples messes again. This, allied to many other problems (including an on call rota with one name on it throughout December - me) will now result in me demanding meetings and immediate solutions from the directors tomorrow. Did I mention I'll only be able to do this as - for the second time in succession - I've had to cancel my holidays at the last minute to be in the office to cover for them? Sometimes I think I over-react but in this instance my anger is justifiable.

Rant over. Admit it, you love the rants. I know Carole does. My resultant black eye from yesterdays rant is proof positive! OK, she didn't clock me but I'm sure one day she will!

Returning to the main issue (I'd make a really impressive broadsheet newspaper columnist wouldn't I? Four paragraphs in and I still haven't said anything yet!), Luca and I got up sharply this morning to drive into Aberdeen and brave the Christmas shopping crowds. We managed to get parked surprisingly easily before heading for the Early Learning Centre, Forbidden Planet, the park and B&Q - in that order. He loved being in B&Q the most as (due to the store being quiet and the floor space wide) I let him down to walk with me, rather than be stuck in the pram or my arms. He had a superb time, and my only regret is not taking the camera into the store with us. He had a face wide smile the whole time we were there. Well, apart from the point where I hid behind a plant and he thought he'd lost me - he started shrieking "Daddy!!" before bursting into tears. He looked so frightened to be without me, I didn't think he'd get scared so immediately. He stopped the second I jumped out and picked him up though!

After getting what we needed (apart from the Christmas tree - I couldn't see yours mum, the closest I could see were £19 and looked awful) we headed back to the car and returned home. He fell asleep on the way home which was a relief as I'd had the idea of taking him to McDoanlds for lunch. It would have been great fun, but has anyone else seen "Supersize Me"? You'll never eat American fast food again if you do....

As per normal, my blog isn't exactly in chronological order. Despite my overdescriptive details of todays events I haven't mentioned last night yet. Not that there's too much to mention (I cooked - well, I put a pizza in the oven which got a bit burnt) but we got a DVD out after Luca went to sleep. "Wanted", starring Angelina Jolie and James McAvoy. We'd both been wanting to see this, and I genuinely can't make my mind up whether it was great or attrocious. Obviously, being based on a comic it was wildly far fetched (bending bullets round corners, ice cream vans ourunning sports cars, falling hundreds of feet in a train carriage and surviving) but if anything it wasn't quite wild enough - the original source material involved the main character turning to random murder and rape (!) as his confidence grew and battling baddies including one who went by the moniker of "Shithead"! And before you ask, he was actually a monster made up of the poo of the most evil men who lived, including Jeffrey Dalmer and Hitler. It go's without saying that transferring all of this into a major Hollywood blockbuster would have been difficult but.....

Finally in response to dad's last blog - don't bother with Fleet Foxes, I've got their album and the only thing it's good for is sending you to sleep.

Did I mention that Carole will be joining me on writing duties as of this week?.....

**Useless fact of the day - The latest Bond movie "Quantum Of Solace" is the first Bond film is 21 years to use name of the one of the original Bond books**

Wednesday 4th December 2008

No time for a "work hours" blog today I'm afraid, as my day was as busy as a Labour government spin doctor on the day they announced the 2.5% VAT reduction. And judging by the amount of work I still didn't get finished, about as useful as the aforementioned decision too.

Still, I got home to see Luca just before he hit the hay. As usual, when I was changing him into his jammies he insisted on putting his red cardigan on top. It looks like Noddy's you see. However, it's getting too small for him so there's a Christmas idea for someone....

Talking of Christmas, does anyone have a Christmas list? Or would you like to receive my woefully unsuitable presents again this year? Your choice!

I hope you like Luca's photo. Again it's an old one (I'm getting home too late to have time to take new and interesting ones) from early this year at Hoodles. I thought it best to show a photo that doesn't show his resplendant new shiner - he had an accident at nursery this week, and looks like he spilt Mike Tysons pint and forgot to run! He doesn't seem to notice though, and that is most likely down to the distraction of his burgeoning love life. Yes, he has his first girlfriend. It appears he's been getting closer to a girl at nursery called Sky, with whom he initially just held hands with but over the last week or so has started kissing! From here it starts...

I'm glad Kelly isn't repeating her wrapping trick from last year. She's right, it was a woeful idea! Sorry Kelly. Still, at least it was funny!

**Useless fact of the day - In the comic book world, Batman is going to die this month. Well, Bruce Wayne, his alter ego will**

Wednesday December 3rd 2008

22 days until Christmas! Where's the year gone? Speaking of Christmas, Dad's got us feeling guilty about not coming for Christmas dinner - indeed, Carole sent him an "oi" email after reading his blog! I do feel bad, but we've never had a family Christmas at home - and we can make up for it in March! Everyone is more than welcome to come and visit us though. Kelly, that's your invite reversed!


What'd we do last night? Apart from freeze in Inveruries arctic weather? I went to the gym after work. Briefly. Despite, or perhaps because of the weather, the gym was heaving. So busy in fact I had to contend myself on the rubbish equipment. After half an hour of fruitless exercise (without even one bead of sweat) I gave up and came home to be accosted by the boy who was thankfully still up. One tooth brush, story and cuddle later he was in bed and Carole and I settled down to watch the first half of the Arsenal game (I told you she was turning!) before watching "Survivors". Gripping stuff!


Apparently the snow is going to hurtle down again tonight so I intend to leave sharp tonight. At it's peak yesterday Inverurie had a few inches of snow, and apparently tonight/tomorrow will be worse. Fingers crossed, a "duvet day" away from work will be very much appreciated!


Lastly, and disappointingly, Dad has offered me another Manchester Utd ticket - and I've had to turn it down. I was due to be off over a couple of days next week, but, yet again, I'll definitely have to pop into the office. I'm actually staring to get quite stressed with the situation and I'm feeling on the edge. Long story, but basically I'm having to run the office and do all the work at the same time. What a wonderful situation to be in....As Carole would say, meep meep.


And lastly part 2 (!) - Carole's got her works Christmas do on Friday, so on the off chance Ross reads this (fat chance) he's welcome to come round for a eveing on the Wii - we haven't had our Mariokart challenge yet!!


**Useless fact of the day - The first photograph ever taken was in 1814. Although primitive back then the image was likely of a better quality than my attempts....**

Monday 1st December 2008

I hate Mondays! I'm at work, and unfortunately this is the last archive photo I have access to from my work PC. From here on in all posts I make from the office will be "sans" pictures. So sorry, but I hope you enjoy this blurry old one!

On Sunday Luca and I popped through to visit mum in order to avoid Carole's hangover. We timed it badly though, as mum had church to go to not long after we arrived. After (very) briefly considering the possibility of myself and Luca accompanying her (I quickly dismissed the idea on the grounds that Luca's patience wouldn't last past the "Maria" in "Ave Maria") we instead popped along to Banchory's supermarket to buy some munchies. While there we bumped into an old friend, who hadn't met Luca yet. Luca's developed really well verbally this year, and I fully expected him to show off to Mark with his extensive vocabulary. Perhaps predictably though, he said nothing. Nada. He wouldn't even look in Marks direction, never mind say hello! It was almost as if someone had turned out the lights. However, the minute we moved off again the lights went back on!

Afterwards we went back to mum's, where (after Luca had eaten all the food mum had) we went for a walk to the Burnett park. In fact, mum took photo's and videos, but she hasn't posted them yet! For Liz and Val's benefit, the link to mum's blog is http://jostewart.blogspot.com/. Hopefully by the time you read this she'll have posted them!

Luca and I headed home at lunchtime in order to catch the Man Utd-Man City game on TV. Luca went straight to bed, while I curled up with Carole on the sofa - she's becoming a bit of a football afficionato too. Unfortunately I fell asleep (how old am I?), only waking when Luca was back up. I think he disturbed my slumber by leaning his face into mine!

This week is going to be a bit of a nightmare at work, so I'm glad the upcoming weekend is looking quite quiet. The only solid arrangement we have is a panto on Sunday. I'm taking the gruesome twosome to see Aladdin at His Majestys Theatre in Aberdeen. It's Luca's first so we'll see how he takes to it. I'll take the camera with me, and let you know how long his attention span put up with ex-soap actors shouting indecipherably.

Finally, I just got the latest Q magazine, where they listed what they considered to be the top 50 albums of the year. I've got about ten of them, but not the one they considered the best - Kings Of Leon. I understand Kelly and dad do though? Relatedly, what would you all consider your favourite album of the year? My vote would have to go for "Life Processes" by "Forward Russia", with "No Age's" album coming in a close second.

***Useless fact of the day - The highest placed "pure pop" album in Q's poll was "Duffy's" debut***